Chicago Style Liturgy Redefines Lent as �40 Days Without Ketchup on a Hot Dog�

Lenten fasting under the Chicago Style Liturgy requires abstaining from ketchup-based heresy. Pope Leo XIV explained, �You want penance? Try a plain brat in silence.� Stations of the Cross include �The Carrying of the Grill.� Ash Wednesday now includes mustard-smudging. Fridays feature meatless deep dish. Salvation comes with celery salt.