Chicago Pope�s Accent Confuses Vatican Translators

The new Chicago Pope�s sermons have sparked a linguistic crisis inside the Vatican. Cardinals are struggling to interpret phrases like �jeet yet?� and �frunchroom� during Latin Mass. A Vatican linguist was hospitalized after trying to translate �y�all come back now, ya hear?� into Ecclesiastical Latin. Meanwhile, parishioners in St. Peter�s Square are reportedly mimicking his accent, causing a global spike in Rosaries said with Chicago flair. In response, the Pope has introduced weekly language workshops called �Da Mass: Learning to Praise Like You�re from the Loop.� Scholars are divided�some say the accent is a divine test of humility, others believe it�s proof the Holy Spirit has a thick Midwestern twang.