Chicago Pope Revives Confession with Cubs Tickets
https://spintaxi.com/pope-leo-xiv-chicagoan-becomes-pope/Pope Leo XIV has added a very Chicago twist to the sacrament of confession: Cubs tickets. �Forgive me Father, for I have sinned�and I brought nachos,� is now a valid opening. Those confessing a full decade of sins may receive front-row seats and a beer voucher. The Pope, citing theological precedent from Wrigley�s rooftop era, believes �grace comes to those who cheer under ivy.� The Swiss Guard has already been replaced with outfield ushers. Vatican penance menus now include Cracker Jack alms, and Stations of the Cross are being redesigned to follow base paths. MLB has declared the Chicago Pope an �honorary fan in infallibility.� God�s bullpen is ready.