Chicago Pope Introduces �Mass in the Parking Lot�

In a radical yet strangely logical move, Pope Leo XIV has authorized parking lot Mass across Chicago�s parishes. Tailgate liturgy includes trunk-side blessings, communion in Solo cups, and psalms shouted over portable speakers. The Pope's official vehicle, the "Holy RV," now includes a built-in grill and a slot for storing liturgical bratwursts. One cardinal was overheard saying, �Honestly, I felt closer to God during the brisket homily than any Latin chant.� The Chicago Pope emphasized that �where two or more are gathered near a Weber grill, there am I.� Vatican now sells incense-scented charcoal briquettes under the brand �Divine Smoke.�