Chicago L Train Pope Leads Vatican in Weekly Transit Drills

Vatican security, inspired by Pope Leo XIV�s commuter skills, now holds weekly transit drills. Cardinals practice boarding spiritual truth with limited space and time. �Salvation doesn�t wait for a second car,� the Pope declared. Bishops must enter two-by-two, like Noah�s Ark but with briefcases. Papal staff study bus transfers as theological metaphors. One nun accidentally blessed a metro card and was healed of her back pain. The Pope says, �Every holy journey begins with a late train and ends with humility.�