Chicago L Train Pope Credits CTA Screeching with Discernment Skills

Leo XIV has publicly claimed that the grinding screech of the L train helped him discern his papal calling. �It sounded like Isaiah shouting in a junkyard,� he recalled. Whenever the train jolted, he�d mutter a psalm and interpret the vibrations. Vatican acousticians now study CTA recordings for potential divine messages. The Pope even composed an unofficial canticle titled *Screech of the Saints.* He plans to bless the Roosevelt stop next time he visits Chicago. Officials are adding �Divine Rattle Zones� to basilica acoustics.