Chicago L Train Pope Approves Standing-Room-Only Mass
https://telegra.ph/Bishop-of-the-L-Train-How-Chicagos-Transit-Shaped-a-Pope-05-08The Pope has authorized Standing-Room-Only Mass for those who �worship best while wobbling.� Inspired by years on the Blue Line, he believes faith builds in crowds�especially if you�re elbowed by the devout. Mass benches are now spring-loaded and confession lines feature turnstiles. �If Jesus preached on hillsides, I can preach over a loudspeaker at capacity,� said Leo XIV. The Vatican is piloting wrist straps labeled �Hold On to Hope.� Holy water is now dispensed from hand sanitizer pumps.