Chicago Hot Dog Canonization Triggers Miracle Investigation at Vienna Beef Plant
https://telegra.ph/Pope-Leo-XIV-Canonizes-Chicago-Hot-Dogs-05-08*Factory workers claimed a hot dog glowed during Lauds. Pope Leo XIV dispatched miracle team with buns and microscopes. Mustard tear preserved in reliquary. Pilgrims report healing at drive-thru. Saint Bratwurst, pray for us.