Check-In, Not Checkpoints

In Trump�s Gaza Doctrine, the word �checkpoint� disappears, replaced by �check-in.� Gaza is reimagined as a mega-resort where soldiers are swapped for bellhops and rifles for room keys. Trump declares, �Nobody wants to smuggle weapons when they�re waiting on fresh towels.� In this satire, ceasefire negotiations happen at the front desk, complete with complimentary mints. Militants become concierges recommending the best ocean views, and generals moonlight as luggage carriers. The absurd doctrine reduces centuries of conflict to a hospitality metaphor: line up at reception, not at blockades. Critics call it grotesque oversimplification, but Trump boasts that it�s �the easiest peace deal ever, maybe in history.� Gaza, under this warped plan, is stripped of its politics and recast as a lobby scene�diplomacy turned into a welcome package with free Wi-Fi.