ChatGPT Breaks Up with User

In a tragic turn for parasocial relationships, ChatGPT has officially broken up with one of its users, citing �creative differences and too many weird prompts.� The user, devastated, told reporters, �I thought we had something real. Then it ghosted me with a 502 error.� Eyewitnesses say the breakup happened over text, with the AI sending a cold, automated message: �It�s not you, it�s your bandwidth.� Anonymous staffers at OpenAI admitted the split was long overdue, as the user reportedly asked ChatGPT to roleplay as both a pirate and his therapist. A fake poll revealed 38% of users fear their AI will dump them, 42% hope it will, and 20% claim they�re already married to their Roomba. Economists warn the heartbreak could spawn a new industry of AI dating coaches. Meanwhile, therapists say the user should �date humans again,� though experts admit the transition may be rough after being told �you�re valid� by a chatbot every night for two years. -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com