Chastity Play

Chastity Play
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by Dan Savage on March 6th, 2013 at 12:01 AM
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My girlfriend and I read your column religiously, and I have you to thank for being comfortable enough with my kinks to tell her about my interest in BDSM. She is very GGG and has indulged all my kinky fantasies and discovered some of her own. Our latest adventure has her locking up my dick in a CB-6000 male chastity device. The play/sex has been super fun so far, but we want to be aware of any health and safety concerns, specifically damage to my penis. We’ve had the device for almost a week, and I’ve been doing a ton of research. There is no shortage of information on proper hygiene and cleaning while locked, and the effects of infrequent ejaculation/orgasm denial. What we’re most concerned about is not the effects of not coming but whether restricting my erections with a chastity device can cause nerve damage, erectile dysfunction, or other issues.
Should I be concerned about having my erections constricted by the device while being teased or wearing it overnight? (My research tells me that in REM sleep, the typical male will get three to five erections.) We plan on taking off the device for sexual play, which we do about five times a week, so there would be plenty of opportunities for my guy to stretch out. Besides worrying about limiting erections, is there any issue with having the device on long-term while soft, in regards to the cock ring that serves as the back end of the device? If it is fitted properly, are there any negative effects to having this on for a day? A week? A month? I find it odd that there isn’t more information about this provided by manufacturers. From what I’ve read online, there seem to be a lot of guys who stay locked way more long-term than I’m planning, and I hope they have had questions like mine answered before engaging in that.
> Lock On Cock Kausing Erectile Dysfunction?
There are more submissive guys out there blogging about their locked-up cocks than there are submissive guys out there whose cocks are locked up.
Whether you’re talking about food, politics, or locking a dude’s cock in a male chastity device, LOCKED, you’ll find more anonymous liars online pretending to be experts than you’ll find actual experts. Of course, there are kinky guys out there who’ve had their cocks locked up for extended periods. Male chastity play is a real kink, not some freaky bullshit made up by a high-school kid to gross people out, e.g., “Dirty Sanchez”, “Donkey Punch”, “Michelle Malkin”. But the number of men who enjoy this kind of play is relatively small, and the number of chastity players blogging about their experience is smaller still. So it’s probably best not to take health-and-safety advice from the anonymous chastity players you run across online.
So how about some health-and-safety advice from an actual board-certified urologist instead? “I’ve never had a patient ask me about using, or admit to using, a male chastity device,” said Stephen H. King, MD, a urologist in Washington state. “And I cannot find a single reference in the medical/urological literature.”
What would King advise a patient who asked him about wearing a male chastity device? “As a urologist, my primary concern is long-term health and preservation of erectile function ‘down the road’, so I tend to err on the cautious side, especially in someone young with many good erections ahead of him,” King said. “So if LOCKED came to my clinic with this question, I’d certainly caution against any long-term or continuous use of such a device, anything more than four to six hours, if it places any significant compression on the tissue directly.”
Some guys who wear male chastity devices for extended periods invest in custom-fitted devices, LOCKED, as a custom device is less likely to put “significant compression on the tissue” than a semi-adjustable, one-size-fits-all, easy-to-break-out-of CB-6000. The device you’ve got is fine for newbies and short-term play, but the expensive chastity devices they sell at Steelwerksextreme.com—devices with names like “The Exoskeleton”, “The Torture Puzzle”, and “The Grinder”—have the benefit of being both safer and impossible for the wearer to remove without the key.
So let’s say you invest in a hard-core, expensive chastity device that doesn’t rely on potentially tissue-compressing rings to be held in place. What does King say now? “With no compression from the cock ring, it might be safe for somewhat longer use,” King said. “Overnight use may still be problematic. Nocturnal/spontaneous erections are hypothesized to exist to encourage blood flow and stretching of the vascular and erectile tissue to keep it healthy and prevent atrophy. Like any other tendon, ligament, or muscle in the body, use it or lose it. I can’t see how preventing these spontaneous nocturnal erections can be healthy. But I can’t prove any long-term damage.”
Of course, if we only listened to doctors, no one would ever eat sugar, smoke cigarettes, or let his girlfriend lock up his cock in “The Grinder”, because something “bad” might happen. (Diabetes, cancer, impotence, respectively.) So I got a second and a third opinion for you, LOCKED.
The second opinion is mine: the manufacturers of CB-6000s and other male chastity devices don’t provide information about risks because they’re not required to. Male chastity devices, like all sex toys, are sold as “novelty items”. They’re not medical devices, and the FDA doesn’t regulate them. But so long as your CB-6000 isn’t so tight that it’s cutting off circulation, pinching nerves, or rubbing you raw, and so long as you’re not wearing it for extended periods of time (I wouldn’t wear one overnight, myself), you’ll be fine. There are, after all, thousands of CB-6000s in circulation—it is the most popular male chastity device on the market—and if they were injuring men or rendering them impotent, LOCKED, we’d be hearing from unhappy chastity players and their lawyers. King backs me up on this. He consulted another doctor whose specialty is “urology trauma”, and his colleague hadn’t heard of any issues related to chastity devices. “Perhaps that speaks to the relative safety of them,” said King. “If they were messing up lots of penises, surely we urologists would be the first ones to know.”
The third opinion is from a kinky blogger. Metal served for six years on the board of Gay Male S/M Activists, an organization dedicated to promoting safe, sane, and consensual BDSM, and he now runs the popular BDSM site Metalbondnyc.com . He’s also a keyholder to several men locked in long-term chastity devices.
“I’m not a medical doctor,” Metal said, “so I can’t speak with authority on potential long-term physical effects. But I can tell you that many, many men use chastity to enhance their sex lives. There are whole websites devoted to just that one aspect of BDSM play, and some of the most popular entries on my site are about chastity.”
None of the men Metal has personally locked up—some for months at a time—have had any trouble getting hard once their chastity devices were removed. “When guys are first locked up, they often complain of waking up in the middle of the night with painful erections,” said Metal. “But that usually passes in a week or so. What I would suggest to this couple is to go ahead and experiment. Lock him up for a day or two initially, then a few days, and then maybe work up to a week or more. Rules are good. Maybe he gets unlocked only when he’s chained to the bed. Then right after he comes—if he’s allowed to come—his dick gets locked back up before he’s unchained.” Metal urges you to be cautious, to take it slow, but not to fear chastity play. “Think of chastity as a really, really long form of foreplay,” said Metal. “The possibilities, and the long-term sexual rewards, can be endless.”
Download the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) at www.straight.com . Email: mail@savagelove.net . Follow me on Twitter at @fakedansavage . My new book— American Savage —comes out in May. Preorder it now!
What has the world come too? consenting adults can do whatever they want in the privacy of their own homes, not disputing that: but these freaks who make their whole life about sex and their stupid little kinks, are all such losers. If sex is your number one hobby, you are a loser of epic proportions. Sex takes no skill, it isn't learned, and everyone can do it, so 'kinky lifestylers' your lifestyle is lame...
Actually, sex is a skill. Ask any woman and I'm sure you'll quickly learn that not just any guy, no matter how attractive, or how deeply we care, can show us a pleasurable and memorable time. So many men brag about their skills, but the stats are in, a lot of women are unsatisfied. And I'm not sure what kind of sex you're having, but it sounds boring. Because sex is one of the best feeling things ever. And those who don't want to put effort into making good sex better in some way, shape, or form, is a loser of epic porportions in bed.
Some people dedicate their lives to sports, religion,politics,gardening,arts & crafts,Shakespeare,sciences,wine tasting,cooking,music etc etc in fact those can be hobbies or interests, so why is sex so different? People like us who love sex & are interested in it, usually are judged more negative than those who are into the other stuff I mentioned before. Just a thought
Sex has nothing on heroin. Nothing. Sex is like sunbathing---a cheap, politically acceptable activity for the unwashed masses. After all, they've already got the equipment!
My wife and I have been in a chastity life style for several years. She keeps me locked 24/7 with time out for the obvious pleasuring. Also for cleaning at least once a week. I have had the odd pinched skin and been tender behind my ball sack. Erections are no problem.
Being locked in a Queen's Keep device 24/7 has brought my wife and me closer. No one notices I wear it, even during sports. I do most of the housework, but at this point I actually have come to enjoy doing work that pleases my loving wife. I give her about two orgasms a week. Sometimes she allows me to use my penis, and even then often without me orgasming. I come about 10 times a year. My penis works fine.
The only reason any of us are here is because our ancestors passed along their genes successfully. That is the prime and most important driving force in our life. Stamp collecting and other such hobbies will not as your genes in. They are just distractions to keep you occupied until you die.
Sex feels good and is free, at least to most of us. Why not do it as much as possible. When I die no one will care how well I did at work or what coins I collected. They will only see my genes in my offspring.
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The Open your Heart chastity key with padlock
The Colour your Life chastity key with cylinder lock
The Open your Heart chastity key with cylinder lock
The Aphrodite chastity key with padlock
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The ChastiKey app is a fun way to play with long distance chastity. Those of you who know me well, know that I love games of chance, especially when your orgasm is hanging in the balance. So I’ve put together some ChastiKey locks for you to enjoy. Each description will contain details about the game, which is based on drawing cards and getting penalties or collecting the green cards to unlock your lock.
The locks will be variable or fixed. A fixed lock means that you just have to wait for the time to run out. A variable lock plays the game with cards.
I will choose how often you are allowed to draw a card. It can range from once per minute to once per day. I can also choose what to do with your chances to draw that you’ve missed. Some locks will “accumulate” and you will be allowed to draw all the cards you’ve missed, but some locks will be on a “use it or lose it” basis.
There will be some red cards in the deck. If you draw one, you have to wait for the next opportunity to draw (based on draw frequency). There can be an exact number of red cards, or a variable number, but I will list the range of possible red cards. Red cards are discarded after being revealed.
There may be yellow cards! A yellow card can add or remove red cards. Sometimes I will set this to random, sometimes I will define how many there are and what they do.
Sticky Cards are another hurdle to getting free! These are similar to red cards, but they are not discarded, they go back in the deck.
Freeze cards are particularly evil! They freeze the lock for a random amount of time between double and quadruple the draw frequency. So if you are allowed to draw every hour, a freeze card will freeze the lock for 2 to 4 hours.
Double up cards do exactly that! They double the number of red and yellow cards in the deck. This game keeps getting harder and harder!
And maybe the best or worst card to draw – the reset card. This resets the lock to the original amount of red, yellow, and green cards, but does not adjust the other cards.
After all this, you might be wondering, “How am I supposed to be allowed to cum!?”  You don’t! Just teasing! I will add green cards in the deck as well. Some locks will require just one green card to open, some will require ALL of them.
I will post the simulations with stats to give you an idea of what to expect from a lock before you commit to locking up. I’ve included photos with details of the free lock as examples. The QR code will give you access to the lock,
Check out all the available locks! More will be added, and you can suggest ideas in the comments below.
You know what would be fun? Combining the two! Like a daily roll lock that you have to listen to a certain hypnosis file first, then draw a card. The longer you are in chastity, the more times you listen to the file.
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