Chastity Couples

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Last LOCKTOBER, I released Locked-In Love: How two weeks in chastity can end the barter system, renew courtship and make a better husband., a book chronicling my wife and my experience with male chastity and the surprising benefits we received from the experiment. And I’m happy to say that sales, reviews and feedback from Amazon & Twitter have shown me that the book has struck a positive note with a receptive audience.
By far the #1 question I receive from couples interested male chastity and the book has been, ‘Are you still doing it?’.
At the time of the book’s release we had been practicing chastity and the lessons we learned for well over six months. It felt transformative and permanent. But six months isn’t long enough to really know if the changes you’ve implemented have created real change or if it’s just “shiny and new”. It’s also not long enough to see what other changes may come along.
So this Locktober, now that Mrs. Key and I are over a year and a half into this journey, we thought we’d sit down and review where we were, what we’ve learned and where this is going.
I am very appreciative of the fact that you don’t spell out the terms and the timeline in a strict way. There’s no pressure. When we decide it’s an “on” week (or more) it’s often tied to a time when I might be feeling low and in need of more support, love and self-care. Knowing that you’re really tuned into stepping up your game around the house and reaching out to me with non-sexual touch (foot rubs being a favorite!) is both helpful and heartwarming.
Perhaps it would make more sense to “put it on the calendar” so that messy life doesn’t get in the way and we miss out on a month but for the most part I think that we make the time and put in the work.
But this is only one aspect of our experience. There is most certainly a very sexual component. Male chastity grants me the literal “key” to feel sexual when I often feel the least sexual.
Do you feel more confident being the keyholder than before?
Definitely. I enjoy it. I don’t hold it in a physical way. That’s not necessary for our relationship, although in truth having it on during sex would definitely be a turn on.
100%. We would often say that it felt like we were battling one another over decisions we were making for the family. And it wasn’t that we were disagreeing with one another. We just weren’t listening to the other’s viewpoint. Screaming into the void so to speak! Male chastity has made us more sensitive to one another. Now we make more of an effort to HEAR one another.
I can’t think of any. Did I mention the foot rubs? The full body massages? The ever shrinking “to do” list?
What do you think, if anything, it changed in me?
From the very start of our relationship you’ve shown yourself to be a man who enjoys physical touch (holding hands played into a funny story from the start of US), a very health sex drive and an emotional development that does you credit! Our lives are ever changing…. From dating, to marriage to family… and with that so have our needs changed. What’s the old adage: Show, don’t tell? With male chastity you’re more driven to show me love in actions. And for me and for us that’s doing things around the house and ticking things off the list and working as a team, doing things for our family and improving our home and our lives. TEAM BARRETT!
I think I’ve grown to really enjoy the sexual dominance role that comes with our male chastity experience. It’s empowering and seeing how you enjoy it makes the pleasure that much sweeter.
There is an increase in touch during the day but even more so in our bed. And not necessarily touch driven by sexual outcomes. Holding each other as we fall asleep. Taking a few minutes after the alarm goes off in the morning to snuggle before the kids barge in. Intimacy for the sake of emotional connection.
In the past (and if I’m honest sometimes still) I’ve had difficulty seeing “sex” as such without vaginal intercourse but my years with you and our foray into chastity play have helped me explore, accept and enjoy that sex can be so much more! Having an orgasm while denying you yours is exciting, satisfying and intensifies the expectation of just how good the sex will be next when we can both reach that peak.
Do you feel more supported in your life/work/home?
I do. I think we’re more patient with one another and we’ve developed better tools at getting things done (holla Trello!). Not to say there isn’t room for improvement! Get that dirty glass from the sink into the dishwasher…. It’s RIGHT there! My father jokes that after 50 years of marriage he’s still in training. I think we always need to look to improve. All of us! That’s how a marriage will succeed.
I think we’ll continue on as we are. It works for us. I don’t think we need additional structure, but maybe you feel differently and if so, we can talk about it. What’s most important to me is keeping the lines of communication open.
I don’t think so. I see this as a way we satisfy ourselves sexually and emotionally. It’s something we have available to help us communicate and connect.
Is there anything you’d do different or feel is wanting sexually?
I think I like what you said about you having more control over the when and how long. I don’t want to insist on a time. To me that feels like ‘topping from the bottom’, though this isn’t really a dom/sub thing. But that strikes me as making it about me. The whole lesson learned from our experiment was how wonderful it was to really focus on the we over me.
What do you like the most about it?
I have always loved you and always been in love with you but it’s crazy and wonderful how much in love with you I feel with chastity. And that feeling stays even when I’m not locked up. I think it’s how much it rewired priority away from my libido into something more emotional than sexual. I just never knew how much of a subconscious dealer my sex drive was. But now your smile — well you know your laugh is what I first heard before I even saw you — your smile gives me butterflies and a sense of contentment. It’s a wonderful place to be in a relationship.
To read the first part of the journey and maybe start your own couple’s adventure, you can get ‘Locked-In Love: How two weeks in chastity can end the barter system, renew courtship and make a better husband.’ On Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats.
Author of erotica and femdom. Find my works on Amazon. https://www.amazon.com/Key-Barrett-MSc/e/B072PPJM5Q

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