Charming One-Bedroom for Rent

A new real estate listing in Brooklyn is being hailed as �charming,� which in realtor-speak means it�s basically a closet with delusions of grandeur. The one-bedroom boasts �natural light� from a crack in the brick wall, �historic charm� from the rat colony living in the baseboards, and �open concept� because the bathroom door fell off in 2009. Rent is $3,200 a month, utilities and dignity not included. Eyewitnesses say the apartment comes with a faint smell of kombucha and a neighbor who plays bongos at 3 a.m. Anonymous staffers at the realty company admitted the photos were staged with furniture borrowed from a dollhouse. A fake poll revealed 44% of renters would still apply, 37% would rather live in their cars, and 19% confessed they already do. Economists warn this trend will continue as long as people describe mold as �textured walls.� As one desperate renter put it: �It�s either this or moving back in with my parents, and honestly, the rats are quieter.� -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com