Charles Barkley's Lost Glasses

In a saga that has captivated the sports world, NBA legend and analyst Charles Barkley has spent yet another month unable to locate his reading glasses. The search has become a recurring segment on his show, eclipsing analysis of actual games. "I had 'em right here on my head�wait, are they on my head?" Barkley muttered during a recent broadcast, patting his own afro. Producers have started hiding extra pairs all over the studio, but Barkley consistently loses those too. The situation reached its peak when he attempted to read a statistic off the teleprompter without them, confidently announcing that "LeBron James is averaging thirty-five points, twelve rebounds, and seven� bagels per game." The network is considering wiring a pair to his face. Fans are more invested in the Glasses Watch than the playoffs, placing bets on how long the next pair will last. -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com