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College always promises experiences to remember but sometimes these memories aren't quite what we were hoping for. Freshman year coupled with communal bathrooms is a recipe for gross surprises and our writers got to experience them in full:
Oh gosh, I have been here for five years now and my fair share of dorm stories could probably create a small book.
My freshman year in college though, by far, exceeds almost any other year of insane stories.
In my freshman dorm, it was a wing of girls on the bottom floor and a wing of boys on the top floor. We all shared a community bathroom with six showers and five or six toilets (hard to remember after all this time ha). There was never really any problem with showers or toilets being occupied when you wanted to use them. There was, however, problems with them being destroyed or unavailable to use because people are crazy.
On several occasions, many of the toilets would have crap smeared ALL over the toilet, floor, and stall. Which one, resulted in fines; two, was foul? Who would be willing to shove their hand in poop to do that?; and three, resulted in limited bathroom usage.
One time I was taking a shower, curtain drawn and I had my towel hanging outside the shower - all clear indications I was using the shower and in it. This girl, who thankfully I never interacted with again, just walked up to the curtain and pulled it openly said something to me that I didn’t understand, stood there for a minute and then walked away. She wasn’t in a towel so I don’t think she mistakenly thought it was empty, she was fully clothed.
Another time, my freshman year, I left the lobby to get something from my room and as soon as I walked into the wing I could hear someone having sex - LOUD. And I thought to myself well okay then, ya’ll are loud as hell but as I got closer to my room it got increasingly louder. It went quiet for a bit when I got to my room and I went in - no one there - and I grabbed my stuff and then realized I had to pee. I went into the bathroom, which is right across from my room and walked in on two people having sex on the COMMUNITY bathroom floor.
My freshman year of college I lived in suite-style dorms where I shared a room with one guy and a bathroom with another room of two people. This story is just one example of the shenanigans that went on in that dorm.
One day while I was doing homework, one of my suitemates barged into my room with a bunch of his buddies. They all had huge grins on their faces like they had just gotten into something. I suspiciously looked at my suitemate and then I saw that he was holding a very large dildo in his hand. This thing was a Caucasian monstrosity. It was very thicc and was complete with testicles, veins, and even a suction cup at its base. Before I can even ask “Why?” he tells me the dildo’s whole backstory.
Apparently, the room below us had a string hanging from its drop ceiling at the start of the year. When those people pulled the string, they found a note attached that said: “Check the other room to find Richard”. The people went over to the conjoined room, lifted one of the ceiling tiles, and out plopped Richard.
My suitemate somehow knew those people and had just stolen Richard from their room. Richard really became our mascot for the year. We’d do things, like stick him to pretty much any surface in the dorm using his suction cup or put him under the pillow of whomever, was expecting a lady-friend over that night. At Christmas time I actually used sparkly pipe cleaners to make tinsel and a star to turn him into our Christmas tree. It was an interesting time, to say the least. Richard is still the centerpiece of my old suitemate’s apartment today.
Coming to college, I knew that I would experience all sorts of weird things. Though, I never expected that I would be subjected to the stereotypical the “I caught my roommate masturbating” occurrence.
My weekly schedule was always pinned to my desk, allowing my roommate to know where I’d be and when I would not be in the dorm. Except for one day, I got out of class early and returned to my dorm. I unlocked the door in a loud manner to announce I was coming in, but the headphones must have been too loud. I proceeded to enter, only to find him on his laptop, pants to his knees and tissue at the ready. I threw my belongings down, trying to leave as soon as possible, but he insisted on having a conversation with me while blowing his nose with the tissue.
Everyone knows the worst part about being a freshman in college is the communal bathroom. At first, I thought this was just an exaggeration, it had been smooth sailing once you get past having zero privacy. That was until the fateful morning when I walked into the bathroom stall--my favorite bathroom stall--and saw a horror unfold. There was poop everywhere. It was on the back of the toilet, the toilet seat, the floor, the stall walls. Now, I thought this was a single occurrence; maybe someone just had a rough night. Nope! Every other Friday there was this murder in the stall. Fridays, coincidentally, when the janitorial staff would not be back on duty until two days later on Monday. Not only did I lose my favorite stall to the wreckage, but this person moved on to the shower stalls.
An entire side of showers would be off-limits thanks to this person’s -ahem- bowel movement on the floor. An entire floor of girls had to share two showers that weekend. This person then moved their games right to the middle of the bathroom where you could be brushing your teeth staring at someone’s digested breakfast. It was disgusting and an experience that truly bonded the floor of girls for life. Honestly, though, I hope whoever was the culprit is doing well and has curbed their appetite for public pooping.
When it comes to being a freshman in college, you will experience new things. For many people, this often comes with the fact that you have to use communal restrooms, as well as the fact most people have to share a room with a complete stranger. When I was coming to school, I was so excited to meet my roommate. I always pictured us as hanging out, and being pretty close. I found my roommate online, and it seemed like we had a lot in common but I soon found out that this wasn’t the case. We always seemed to be stepping on each other toes, and I realized that we had nothing in common.
Before we came to school, we planned our rooms together. She told me that she was really into decorating, and I was so excited to decorate our rooms together, but after about a week into school, I realized that I had the roommate from hell. She might have been the dirtiest person I have ever meet. She would always throw her clothes all over our room. She would invite all of her friends over and they would sit on my bed and my desk. After stepping on multiple acrylic nails that she ripped off and threw on our carpet, I thought I had experienced it all, unfortunately, it got worse. One day after a long day of classes, I came back to our room to eat some dinner. I went to go throw something in our garbage can to find a used (and full) condom just sitting there among one of my ramen noodle wrappers.
After about five minutes of gaging, and crying, I decided to have an uncomfortable talk with her. Nothing really seemed to change so I ended up making the decision to move out. Nothing could have prepared me for all of the crazy, and gross, things I have experienced as a freshman, but without all the crazy stories, freshman year would have been a dull one.
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The nation’s system of juvenile justice has long been troubled. But recent studies have revealed a surprising new menace: female staffers at detention facilities sexually abusing the male youngsters in their care.
The older authority figure wins the
trust of the young target by cultivating a false friendship, having
heart-to-heart conversations, giving gifts, offering protection. And then the
sex ensues, sometimes forced, sometimes seemingly consensual.
It is a classic predatory tactic known as “grooming,”
and no one familiar with it could have been terribly surprised when a new
report from the U.S. Department of Justice declared that young people in the
country’s juvenile detention facilities are being victimized in just this way.
The youngsters in custody are often deeply troubled, lacking parents, looking
for allies. And the people in charge of the facilities wield great power over
the day-to-day lives of their charges.
What was a genuine shock to many
was the finding that in the vast majority of instances, it was female staff
members who were targeting and exploiting the male teens in their custody.
The phenomenon -- a particularly
unexamined corner of the nation’s long-troubled juvenile justice system –
presents an array of challenges for those concerned about better protecting
young people in custody: encouraging male teens to understand such sex is, in
fact, a crime, that it is never really consensual, and that its long term
effects can be seriously harmful; requiring corrections officials to stop
blaming the young boys and meaningfully punish the female staffers; and
establishing standards of conduct meant to end the abuse.
“Many corrections leaders continue
to minimize this abuse, arguing that it’s the kids who are manipulating the
staff, that these boys are asking for it,” said Lovisa Stannow, executive
director of the California-based nonprofit Just Detention International, which
advocates for the elimination of prison rape. “That’s simply not good enough.”
The Justice Department first
discovered the startling form of abuse in 2010 , when it surveyed more than 9,000
youngsters living in juvenile halls and group homes. More
than 10 percent of the respondents said they’d been sexually abused by
staff and 92 percent said their abuser was female.
In the last three years, the
numbers haven’t changed much.
The Justice Department released its
second
report last
month , and this time researchers surveyed more than 8,700 juveniles housed
in 326 facilities across the country. In all, the facilities house more
than 18,000 juveniles, representing about one quarter of the nation’s total
number of youngsters living in detention centers.
Drawing on their sample, Justice
Department researchers estimate that 1,390 juveniles in the facilities they
examined have experienced sex abuse at the hands of the staff supervising them,
a
rate of nearly 8 percent . Twenty percent who said they were victimized by
staff said it happened on
more than 10 occasions . Nine
out of 10 victims were males abused by female staff.
Nearly
two-thirds of the abused youngsters said that the officials lured them into
sexual relationships by giving them special treatment, treating them like a
favorite, giving gifts and pictures.
Twenty-one percent said staff
gave them drugs or alcohol in exchange for sex.
Stannow said that the rate of abuse
perpetrated by female guards on male victims is the result of a “dangerous combination”
of cultural and institutional problems, not the least of which is the fact that
women forcing males into sex does not comport with society’s conventional
definition of rape.
“When you have an extreme power
differential and absolute unchecked power, bad things start happening,” Stannow
said. “When you combine this with a culture where sex abuse by females on males
isn’t taken seriously, then you have the perfect set-up for women with all this
power to get away with it.”
Stannow and others say that the
young male victims themselves may not even consider their relationships with
women to constitute sex abuse. They might consider it consensual because they
didn’t actively fight off their abusers.
“The biggest concern for me is what this
means they’re not getting inside detention, which is a positive relationship
with adults and with authority figures. They’ve not learned what those positive
relationships should be like, and, for many, they’ve never had them in their
life,” said Michele Deitch, an attorney and senior lecturer at the University
of Texas’s School of Public Affairs in Austin.
“These boys aren’t getting the
kinds of treatment and programming that are supposed to make them more
productive citizens and healthier youth,” said Deitch, who focuses on improving
safety conditions in prisons and juvenile detention centers. “Many have
experienced trauma their entire lives and now this is just more trauma for them
to deal with.”
Reggie Wilkinson, the former
director of the Ohio Department of Rehabilitation and Correction, said that
consensual sex between a corrections officer and an inmate is impossible given
the power imbalance between the two.
But he also said that, in some
cases, both female guards and the boys they molest share some responsibility.
“There’s no such thing as
consensual sex when you are supervising someone, regardless of their age, but
the reality of it is that some of the guys in prison are very persuasive and
some of the women are very persuasive,” Wilkinson said.
“I’m not sure anybody has got a
real handle on why the Bureau of Justice Statistics is finding these kinds of
numbers, but it’s on the radar screen of a lot of people.”
Wilkinson and Stannow agree that it
is important to keep women as detention facility personnel. They often do great
work. But the predators, they say, must be identified, halted and prosecuted.
“I think in many cases female staff
are better suited than males,” Wilkinson said. “A good mix of staff is what we
always want. That so-called motherly impact is a big deal and women who are
stern but fair with the inmates I think can perform that job as well as any
male could.”
Joaquin Sapien is a reporter at ProPublica covering criminal justice and social services.
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