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This recent Slate advice column has a couple of kink themed letters on cross-dressing and foot fetish. Stoya gives solid advice, but neither are particularly happy scenarios from the relationship perspective. The second one – featuring a man deeply embarrassed about his foot fetish – reminded me of this tweet by Arielle Ivy.
Clients who go on and on about how embarrassed they are by their kinks always end up being into something extremely common like feet, meanwhile the clients who are into the weirdest, most niche things are so nonchalant about it lmao. Why is that?
That seems like a strange contradiction, but on reflection it does make some sort of sense. I suspect if you think of yourself as 90% conventionally straight, with just this one ‘weird’ outlier interest, that outlier gains excess weight and significance in your mind. It’s the ‘blemish’ that you can sometimes suppress, but always sneaks back into your thoughts. The thing that makes you different.
On the other hand, if you’ve got all sorts of genuinely unusual and niche kinks, then you probably didn’t land on them immediately. You’ll have explored, tried out different things, thought about what works and how it all fits together for you. You don’t think as yourself as 90% ‘normal’ with a guilty secret. Instead your just kinky with some things you particularly enjoy.
I also suspect there’s also some observational bias here. I’d guess that when professionals like Arielle meet clients into niche kinks, it’s highly likely that the client has seen professional sex workers before. Finding regular partners into niche kinks can be hard. People with more common and easily met kinks don’t have quite that same pressure, so reaching out to a sex worker might be rarer and hence more stressful.
The original site this image is from appears to have ceased to exist.
A couple of books recently popped up on my radar. The first is simply called ‘Kink‘ and is an anthology of short fiction collated by R.O. Kwon and Garth Greenwell. It was recently featured in both the Guardian and the NYTimes, which is pretty good coverage for a book with this subject matter. I’ve not read it yet, but I have added it to my reading queue. Although the the fact Melissa Febos is one of the featured writers does give me pause.
The other is not available till later this year but I’m already sold on it based on the title and cover alone. It’s called Hurts so Good. The Science & Culture of Pain on Purpose and is by Leigh Cowart. Hopefully it’ll give masochists like myself a few hints on what exactly is going on in our strange brains.
This is by the artist Fyodor. I found it via this post. They also have a tumblr here.
Arnie Hammer has been in the news recently. Allegedly he’s into cannibal fantasies. I’ve not really been following it too closely, as I don’t really know who he is and it’s clearly not femdom. There are also allegations of abuse and consent violations, which make it less a tale of kink and more a tale of criminal activity.
However, while the original story isn’t one to cover here, it has led to some reasonable articles on the cannibal kink. Empress Wu was interviewed for a Rolling Stone article on the topic. It’s one that’s obvious dear to Empress Wu’s heart, as she also had a lengthy discussion about it with Tina Horn on the ‘Why are People Into That!?’ podcast. Finally, the appropriately named ‘The Cut’ published a Q & A with social anthropologist Katharine Gates on the subject. I think all three are worth a read/listen.
This is an image with a very strong butchery vibe. I’ve not got a cannibalism kink, but I do think some of the objectification that goes along with it can be pretty hot. I believe this is originally from the ‘Young Goddess’ site that has now ceased to be.
A short and sweet post for today, featuring an image from deep in my tumblr archives. I guess technically, from a fetish perspective, this counts as CFNM. However, I like it for the composition and their body language. He appears relaxed while she is purposeful, but both seem confident and assured in their respective roles.
I’m afraid I’ve no idea where this is from. Reverse image searching didn’t get me anything. It clearly looks like an art shot, rather than a fetish/erotic one. If anyone can help me attribute the photographer then please leave me a comment.
I’m sure most readers have already seen the story featured in today’s post. It’s been covered in the tech press, the mainstream press and sex blogs. It even popped up on Colbert’s Late Show. Yet I feel I really couldn’t hold my head up high as a femdom sex blogger if I didn’t mention the Bluetooth enabled chastity device that has a horrible security flaw. Apparently during penetration testing (huh huh) security researchers discovered that attackers could take control of the lock, as well as scan for contacts and location information.
From the tech perspective, I think this is the kind of hacking story we should get used to seeing. It’s getting cheaper and cheaper to add this technology into products of all types. There are lots of small companies springing up making specialized internet enabled devices and security is hard to get right and hard for end users to understand. That inevitably makes it a low priority for the manufacturers.
From the sex perspective, there seems to be a bit of a disconnect between the reporting and what chastity device users normally say. The mainstream articles suggests you might require heavy duty angle grinders to escape. What I’ve read in the past from chastity device users is that pretty much any device is removable if it doesn’t involve a piercing. Give it enough lube and wiggling and the male genitals are capable of Houdini-esque feats of escape.
This drawing – featuring a far more traditional device – is by The Smutty Rogue.
One thing I’ve missed this year is making cocktails for friends. That’s such a pleasurable activity. Making a cocktail is much quicker and simpler than cooking a meal, yet still has those elements of handcrafting and artistry that makes it fun to do. There are endless recipes to try and minimal knife skills required. Plus, you end up with drunk happy grateful friends.
This image is obviously from the Play Girl magazine and features Alex Hawn as the man with the Martini glass. The first version I found of this image had been weirdly edited to chop his head off and photoshop out the gun from her hand. I kind of get the cropping to remove the logo and make the woman more center frame. That’s a pretty common tumblr type edit. But who simultaneously hated guns yet loved this image so much that they spent the time to photoshop the gun out?
A helpful comment from a post earlier this month pointed me at Troupe of Slaves. It’s a fun site, with a lot of interesting images, although I’m not exactly clear on who or what is behind it. Is it the artistic spin-off of a local kinky group? A bunch of friends having fun? A one man art project?
Regardless of what it is, there’s definitely a lot of great sexy images to enjoy. I particularly liked this one entitled ‘Polka Dots‘.
I’ve no idea what the context for this is, or who these people are, but it looks like a fun time. I like to imagine he’s being used and abused, a toy to be played with and then cast aside. They’ll snap some pictures for their friends, take their pleasure however they desire, and leave him a sweaty, disheveled and incoherent mess.
I’d guess this is from a CFNM themed porn shoot, but I’m afraid I haven’t managed to track down a link for it.
At first glance this seems like a perfectly ordinary photograph. Just an attractive masked lady drinking a can of La Croix in a kitchen while a naked man with strange headgear cooks in the background. I’m sure that counts as any Tuesday in Domina Yuki’s world. However, if you look closely, very closely, at the can in the original fullsized image, there is an subtle hidden message. For anyone whose device doesn’t let them zoom effectively, I’ve done the work for you here. There’s absolutely no danger of ever having a shortage of that particular product.
This is one of those images with endless possibilities. Depending on your personal kinks or proclivities, there are a lot of different ways you can imagine this scene unfolding. Although I do think that 99% of them involve those jeans coming off.
This is Liara Roux, who both creates porn and works as a professional companion. The man with the eye catching erection is Oliver Davis and the scene was shot by Ashley Lake.
You can see more from the scene in this tweet and on Liara’s site.

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