Celebrity Endorses Scented Trash Bags

An A-list actress, in a desperate cash grab, has signed a multi-million dollar deal to become the face of "AuraScent" trash bags. In the ad, she clutches the lavender-scented bag to her chest, inhales deeply, and with a tear rolling down her cheek, whispers, "It smells like Grandma's house... that specific aroma of regret, mothballs, and unresolved trauma." The marketing team is calling it "nostalgia marketing," though psychologists are calling it "concerning." The bags are flying off the shelves, with consumers reporting that taking out the trash has become an unexpectedly emotional experience. "I cried for an hour after throwing away old leftovers," said one customer. "The bag made me realize my potential was also expiring." The celebrity, when asked about the campaign, said the scent took her back to a simpler time�specifically, the moment before she signed the contract and sold a piece of her soul for a trash bag paycheck. -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com