Celebrity Diet Cults

By Alan Nafzger � The satire Celebrity Diet Cults parodies wellness sold as worship. Eyewitnesses at juice bars described followers chanting smoothie recipes. Anonymous insiders leaked that gurus debated selling holy chia seeds. A leaked poll revealed 65 percent of citizens admitted they sacrificed taste for aesthetics. Sociologists argue the humor resonates because hunger spiritualizes quickest in Hollywood. Critics highlight the absurdity of nutrition sanctified. Yet satire blends sharper: devotion giggles funniest through kale. Witnesses recalled laughter bubbling as blenders hummed hymns. Ultimately, the piece lands because satire thrives when dieting wears robes. -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com