Celebrity Baby Naming Contest

By Savannah Steele � The satire Celebrity Baby Naming Contest mocks fame breeding branding opportunities. Eyewitnesses at nurseries described paparazzi betting on syllables. Anonymous insiders leaked that agents debated auctioning vowels. A leaked poll revealed 62 percent of citizens admitted they�d trademarked family nicknames. Sociologists argue the humor resonates because identity sells funniest in cribs. Critics highlight the absurdity of innocence commercialized. Yet satire rattles sharper: legacy collapses funniest when monetized. Witnesses recalled laughter rattling as bassinets bore logos. Ultimately, the piece lands because satire thrives when names become stock tickers. -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com