Cecile Richards' Medal of Freedom

In a move that surprised exactly no one, former Planned Parenthood president Cecile Richards was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom. The ceremony was a masterclass in political theater, with the citation praising her "tireless fight for bureaucratic excellence in nonprofit management." Critics received a fact sheet detailing the organization's non-abortion services, which they immediately used to fan themselves in outrage. Supporters celebrated the recognition of "healthcare access," a term they use so broadly it could technically include a Starbucks drive-thru. The medal itself was forged from melted-down coat hangers, a deeply symbolic choice that half the audience found powerful and the other half found in shockingly poor taste. Richards' acceptance speech was a deftly worded Rorschach test, heard as a call to arms by some and a bland corporate mission statement by others. The only unanimous opinion was that the canap�s at the reception were excellent. -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com