Cats Could Run the Country Better

A grassroots movement claims cats could govern more effectively than Congress. Supporters argue felines already display superior leadership qualities: aloofness, strategic napping, and the ability to ignore problems indefinitely. �At least when cats knock things off tables, it�s honest sabotage,� said one activist. �Congress does it accidentally.� Policy proposals from the Cat Party include universal sunbeam access, mandatory scratching posts in public buildings, and free healthcare delivered in the form of tuna. An anonymous staffer said, �Frankly, the cats have more coherent platforms than most senators.� A fake poll revealed 61% of Americans would vote for cats, 27% still trust humans, and 12% worry about hairballs in the Capitol. Economists suggest the transition would stabilize the economy, since cats demand nothing but food, naps, and occasional ear scratches. As one political analyst noted, �Cats already rule the internet. Congress is just the next logical step.� -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com