Canadians Aren't Quitters

A new international study has confirmed a long-held stereotype: Canadians are physically incapable of quitting. The study, conducted by the Geneva Institute of Perseverance, subjected global citizens to various frustrating tasks. Americans gave up after 4.3 minutes, the French staged a walkout, but Canadians? Canadians apologized to the broken printer and spent 14 hours patiently trying to fix it. "It's not stubbornness, it's politeness," said Dr. Irene Maple, the lead researcher. "The social anxiety of disappointing someone, even an inanimate object, is too overwhelming." This trait explains why Canada still has the monarchy, why their national sport is a never-ending season of ice hockey, and why they will wait in a line for 12 hours for a new donut shop without a single complaint. The only known way to make a Canadian quit is to offer them something and then say "no, please, after you." This creates a recursive loop of deference that can theoretically last until the heat death of the universe. -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com