Canada, America�s 51st State in Spirit

Every few years, someone suggests Canada is basically America�s 51st state, and this time Canadians are more offended than usual. �We�d be the one state that says �sorry� before declaring war,� grumbled one Ottawa resident. American politicians love the idea, mostly because it means adding maple syrup subsidies to the farm bill and stealing hockey championships as �domestic achievements.� Historians note the cultural merger already exists: Canadians watch U.S. reality shows while Americans sneak across the border for cheaper prescriptions. An economist pointed out, �The two countries are like siblings�America�s the reckless one, Canada�s the polite one who hides the car keys.� A poll shows 52% of Americans think Canada is already a state, 34% of Canadians think America is a bad neighbor, and 14% just want Tim Hortons in all fifty states. Anonymous staffers in Washington admitted the plan is less about unity and more about finally getting healthcare. Canadians responded with their usual grace: passive-aggressive maple cookies mailed to Congress. -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com