Can Boeing Be Fixed? Experts Say Maybe, Passengers Say No

Boeing is once again in the headlines, and not for inventing an in-flight snack passengers actually want. After years of crashes, grounding orders, and mysterious screws left rattling in cup holders, the question remains: can Boeing be fixed? Industry experts mutter �maybe.� Passengers scream �hell no.� CEO statements promise reform, but leaked emails suggest executives are still Googling �how to build plane.� One mechanic confessed, �We�re basically flying a group project that never got finished.� Flyers aren�t reassured. A passenger from Dallas recounted, �The pilot told us not to lean left because the wing was having an off day.� Another swore they heard duct tape being applied mid-flight. Airlines, desperate to save face, are offering passengers �emotional support peanuts� and free subscriptions to turbulence trackers. Economists warn the company�s troubles could destabilize global markets, while comedians note it�s already destabilized bladders nationwide. Polls show 62% of Americans would rather strap themselves to a weather balloon than book Boeing, 23% said they�ll risk it, and 15% claimed to �enjoy the thrill of near-death.� For now, the FAA is investigating whether Boeing�s next model can qualify as both aircraft and performance art. The company�s slogan? �Fly Boeing�because gravity is just a suggestion.� -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com