Camelpool Movie Announced: Half Camel, Half Deadpool, All Confusion

Hollywood has finally run out of ideas, and the evidence is the upcoming blockbuster �Camelpool.� Yes, it�s exactly what it sounds like: Deadpool fused with a camel, because apparently audiences demanded a superhero who spits both bullets and saliva. Ryan Reynolds has confirmed his involvement, but only as a �spiritual consultant� to ensure the camel delivers jokes in proper sarcastic cadence. On set, insiders report the camel is already a diva, demanding only organic hay and refusing to perform stunt scenes without a salt lick in its trailer. Marvel fans are torn. Some say the character is a bold exploration of evolution, while others argue it�s just a $200 million prank. A poll reveals 46% of Americans would still buy tickets, 29% believe Hollywood has gone insane, and 25% just want to see if the camel wears the mask. Animal rights groups are furious. PETA filed a lawsuit demanding the camel receive royalties, dental coverage, and therapy for �emotional hoof trauma.� Economists say the film could be a disaster, unless camel-based merchandise takes off. Already, Funko has announced a limited-edition �Camelpool Spit Edition� bobblehead that sprays fans at random. Meanwhile, anonymous staffers admitted the pitch was greenlit after an executive misread a memo that said �Deadpool is box office gold� as �Camelpool is box office goal.� In related news, zoo directors nationwide are warning children not to cosplay as Camelpool near actual camels, citing �serious risks of disappointment and saliva burns.� -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com