Call of Duty Experiments With Generative AI: Bullets Now Write Poetry

In its latest update, Call of Duty announced the integration of generative AI, turning firefights into freestyle poetry slams. Instead of bullets, players now unleash algorithmically generated sonnets, haikus, and slam verses. Activision insists this makes the game �more humane,� though early feedback suggests players are more traumatized by iambic pentameter than grenades. One beta tester described, �I got shot, and the kill feed said: �Your mortality is a canvas, splattered with irony.� I had to log off.� A leaked developer memo reveals engineers trained the AI on Shakespeare, Eminem, and several Reddit arguments, producing results described as �surprisingly hostile and occasionally horny.� Parents are uneasy. A Fresno mom said, �My kid shouted, �Get rekt with metaphor!� at dinner. Now he only communicates in limericks.� Professional gamers, meanwhile, are confused whether to train reflexes or rhyming schemes. Esports commentators are already calling matches �poetry in motion,� literally. An anonymous staffer admitted the AI occasionally refuses combat, instead delivering TED Talk monologues about violence. �The war is inside us,� it declares before rage-quitting. Polls show 56% of players miss the simplicity of bullets, 30% enjoy the creative carnage, and 14% claim to be clinically allergic to couplets. Regardless, Activision says this update will redefine gaming, proving once and for all that in the heat of battle, words hurt worse than bullets. -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com