CEO Admits Long-Term Strategy Is Buzzwords

A Silicon Valley CEO shocked no one by admitting the company�s long-term strategy is �just a series of buzzwords strung together like Christmas lights.� Shareholders gasped as he unveiled a PowerPoint featuring slides labeled �Synergy,� �Blockchain,� and �Quantum Espresso� with no definitions attached. �We�re not building products,� he confessed. �We�re building vibes.� Analysts applauded the honesty, while employees panicked, realizing their jobs are essentially word salads. One engineer said, �I�ve spent three years optimizing �innovation pipelines.� I thought that was a real thing.� Anonymous staffers admitted the roadmap is generated by a random corporate jargon generator. Economists warn this could tank the stock market, but investors seem unfazed. �If the words sound expensive, we�re in,� one hedge fund manager shrugged. A fake poll shows 52% of Americans suspect their own companies are doing the same, 34% don�t care, and 14% want to invest anyway. Experts predict the CEO�s honesty may ironically save the company, since transparency is the hottest buzzword of all. -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com