Buying hash Yuen Long

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Buying hash Yuen Long

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Buying hash Yuen Long

Arriving early for the run I headed for the conveniences, where I was somewhat disarmed to see a sort of Patrick Stewart meets Alf Garnett vaguely hippyish gwailo cottager loitering around the cubicles. Even more disarming, I recognised him. Thank god there was nobody around to witness this exchange. Then QT got out, the only man in the hash under 30 — and apparently the wealthiest. Eunuch glided in serenely followed by the Liberace batmobile — and that was it. Flour, chalk and toilet paper. Did I say he got the pack off on time? I lied. So as the pack set off I was still changing. As I frantically slung my jacket into the car my iPhone described an aerial parabola from pocket to parking lot. When I rescued it from under the car beneath which it had slid I beheld a beautiful screen pattern of fractured glass. Then I found out why. They were so thick on the ground you could trip over them. And they all had toilet paper trail heading off into the forest, and then…nothing. Round and round we went, solving and re-solving checks. Things continued in this vein for about 20 minutes until we found trail heading north up a hill. Checks came thick and fast and toilet paper came thicker and faster. A descent through bamboo. A stream crossing. Needless to say they were absolutely no bloody use on the steep, slippery terrain and he kept falling over and sliding backwards into me. More effing and blinding. Quite soon we found the on home and were greeted by the sight of Eunuch, Vibrator and Liberace picking up wood. And so it was. Serbian Bomber and Eunuch conducted a circle round the blazing pit. Run over in less than an hour, really interesting trail, a fire and great craic — an excellent hash. Awa wi ye! At this point Alen arrived with two virgins — no, not Hendrik and Regina but Paco and Nina, who looked on doubtfully as Dram repeated his briefing. Trail dutifully headed north along the nullah before a bit of a steep mud traverse got us into the tunnel under the highway. So far so good. The pack was together, the virgins were getting the hang of it and the markings were plentiful. Thus it was for the next hour we stumbled around the villages and tracks north of Yuen Long, for the main part lost in the dark but illuminated by the occasional siting of an arrow, something that might once have been flour, or a sodden bit of tissue wedged in chicken wire. Numerous false leads were counterbalanced by the uncanny trail-finding prowess of Golden Jelly and Alen, and we eventually emerged opposite Pok Oi Hospital for the long run in. The upside of the confusion was that it became a proper hash, with everybody getting back within five minutes of each other. The circle ended when the cans of beer ran out, as the canny scotchman had deliberately undersupplied in order to get us to the daipaidong in time. Given that we are the only hash in Hong Kong to have such an event as the centrepiece of its annual calendar really does say a lot about the N2TH3. For the past couple of years, our performance on the pub run has not been very good, in fact it has been crap, barely scraping through 10 bars before everyone gets the last MTR home. However, this year, In the absence of the GM, GM2 Eunuch had high hopes of doing well, making sure that he had taken the following day off just in case he got a little over hydrated. Stingray also wanted to get things going early, avoiding the mistakes of previous years, by getting too comfortable in one of the early bars and then losing interest. On the subject of Stingray, he does like his singing and decided to prepare song sheets for all. Bar number 1: Kings Belly. After having a hastily gathered collection, Mango set off to mark the next bar. Bar number 2: Bobby London. This bar looks exactly the same as it did 30 years ago. A glass of beer was at the ready for the crew, we were in, we were out, 10 minutes. Things were looking good as a stick of chalk was handed to Big Moany with the instruction please do not take us up and over Cloudy Hill tonight. Bar Number 3: Hippo : Perfect. Just round the corner from the Bobby. Six bottles of Carlsberg were waiting for us which we rapidly consumed. Golden Balls received a call from Sticky, she was on the train and would be joining us soon. Bar Number 4: TFS. Nice bar, very quiet. Once Sticky had joined us we quickly moved on. On that note, every time LDB exhaled it smelt like Starbucks…really. Bar Number 5: Lounge : Some quick drinking in here, Eunuch pulled out his balloons and Bunter and Geriatric were nominated to mark the next part of trail. Bar Number 6: Bar King Lounge : we were running out of cash, so another round of collection was needed. Nobody complained, nobody cared cos we were moving baby…our training was finally beginning to yield rewards. Oh yes, LDB had to go back again for his e-cigarette. Bar Number 7: Bar Pacific: Golden Balls got sexy on the karaoke, impressing everyone but the hash because they had swiftly moved on to the next bar once he had started. Bar number 8: Gili Galu : This was not the same Gili Galu as previous years as it appeared to have been chopped in half, but nonetheless we got the beer, drank it and moved on. Bar number 9: Muso : Lots of singing in this bar. Eunuch was hungry and so was everyone else. Eunuch got the pizzas, we munched through them quick time and headed to the next bar. We resembled a finely tuned fighting machine, sort of a mix between the gallant fighting men from the movie and that other movie Fat Boys from Feltham Green. Bar number NOC NOC : More singing in here, then Liberace had to leave as he had a job on and Stingray also left the party citing an early start the following morning. Our numbers had fallen but our spirits remained high. Bar Number Here : It was getting near 11, Geriatric had to leave as he had a fair distance to travel back to Sai Kung. The rest of us were still on our feet and then someone handed chalk to Mango. Bar Number : Thinking that it would be great to have a quick circle, Mango went into and bought a rather large quantity of beer, stacking it on the pavement outside. It was a lovely evening and the remaining pub runners were pleased to stand outside and get a little oxygen in their lungs. It was a very jovial circle led by Eunuch and Luk Dim Boon. As the down downs were being distributed lo and behold the rozzers showed up. We noticed them but just kept going until they told us to keep the noise down, at which point we promptly headed for the next bar. Bar Number After 5 : As we walked in, a group of younglings — five girls, one boy — were sitting in the corner. These were going to prove to be our undoing. The ladies were rather nice, three of them were Japanese and they seemed to take a keen interest in what we were doing. We all tried our various chat up lines, but as usual failure ensued. It was now late and we had to say goodbye to Bunter and QT. Yes, you heard that correct. As we walked out of The After 5 in search of the Eunuch wagon, another , next to the Jockey Club, was sighted. Bar Number Again : Rushing inside, the last men standing grabbed a quick can, drank it and then headed home. Must admit not a bad pub run: 16 establishments covered by 11 hashers. A brief discussion of the nature of time and space pertaining to run number We gathered together at Fanling Cow Pat to find that hare Eunuch was still somewhere out there, setting trail. Much perturbed, we worried about who would guard the beer, but fortunately Lok Sup Gow was able to step up for this arduous task. He turned up carrying a very girly handbag to tote all of his paraphernalia on the run; mobile phone, taxi money, lipstick. Velcro offered to run with him so that he could pretend he was being gentlemanly by carrying her bag on the run. At , as we were about to call a start to the run, we suddenly realized that returnee Alen an exchange student from Borduria or Syldavia or thereabouts had brought along two virgins, Hendrik and Regina. And so, we actually needed to give a real briefing with real instructions. You should have heard the complaints and fuss they raised when she ran off into the distance. Liberace had a different plan. Having guessed that our visitors were keen runners, his strategy was to stay close, by being the FRB. It was noticeable he stayed extremely close all the way through the circle too. I took advantage of having visitors to explain the origins of my name to fresh, unsuspecting victims. Trail led from the Cowpat, across the railway line and to the hills. Yes, you read that correctly. In a stunning break with recent tradition, our hare used actual chalk, flour and toilet paper to mark an easy to find trail. So much trail that even Liberace failed to lose the way, although he did manage to find all the checkbacks. Trail crossed the railway, the highway and went into Fanling north of Wo Hop Shek. By the time I had fixed this and secured my phone back into its pouch, the rest of the rambos were out of sight. Deciding not to wait for the laggardly wimps, I pressed ahead and soon caught up with Golden Balls and QT as we entered the mazy paths in the foothills of the cemetery. A thunderclap of a fart from GB spurred QT and me to speed up, in search of cleaner air. Dead birds, insects, spiders and lizards fell from the trees. My back was aching from the effort as we climbed this run was my first exercise since surgery but in utter desperation and terror I struggled to go faster and stay far enough ahead of the noxious emanations. At last, as I crested the hill and followed trail through forest I caught up with the back of the pack. It was the old gurkha trail that we last did several years ago — thick vegetative shiggy leading to open forest. The hare Eunuch had obviously dropped his toilet roll on the trail, only to have it seized by a pack of wild dogs that playfully unrolled it all the way down the hill, tearing off lengths as they wrestled for control to see which dog would win and carry the prize, all the while chased by Eunuch. I have no other suggestion to explain the over-enthusiastic abundance of paper festooning every tree on the way down. Despite heaviness of the trail markings, Mango managed to fool Catch Of The Day, claiming that there was a checkback. To explain this phenomenon, how they could each be following the other down the hill, it is necessary to step into a brief discourse of the nature of time and space and dimensions and consider that they may in fact have been running in parallel universes. As the trail emerged from the forest, at the point where Eunuch gave up hope of recovering his lost toilet paper, reverting to marking trail in chalk and flour, short-cutter QT was observed failing to follow trail along the make-shift pedestrian ramp, instead running parallel, along the roadworks. Our visitors were being goody-two shoes and conscientiously kept to the trail at this point. Quickly we crossed over the railway and followed the trail home. D Ram and Geriatric were so incensed that they stopped to take photos of themselves reading this offensive message. I have no doubt we will soon be reading yet another irate letter to the South China Morning Post. Once home, COTD put mulled wine on a gas burner while we waited for the final runners to get home. Disappointingly, nobody got lost; nobody was out there hours after the pack finished; and the wimps and rambos finished about the same time. Our hare needs to learn to introduce more chaos and confusion. This week Hash Cash Velcro lips remembered to collect cash before the circle started. Circle started promptly. Down-downs included:. As the circle drew to an end up strode Julian, who passed by at around the same time at our last Cow Pat run a few weeks ago. It only took a couple of beers for him to offer to host a run from his rooftop barbecue just around the corner. Finally the circle closed with announcements about:. Use this knowledge wisely. Inspired by the chaos of recent months, where Catch of the Day set a run but forgot to brief us about her nonstandard markings two pink ribbons tied to a railing as a check , and Liberace set a run though locked gates and barbed wire entanglements, hare Luk Dim Boon made a spirited attempt to revive now infamous accolade:. He may very well have succeeded in reaching a new low, setting the run with the worst markings ever. We had been pre-warned that the hare would be still out, setting trail, at And, so it was. Since I was recovering from recent successful surgery to remove a spare todger I would be a non-runner, able to guard the bags myself, and so we sent Juliet home. At off the pack went. He also tried to use as little chalk as possible for his trail markings. On the rare occasions when he did bother to mark the trail, the markings were so faint as to be missed by many of the runners. Bravely they all set off again, shortcutting towards the main gate. Next to appear was the hare, Luk Dim Boon, checking to how the start went, before disappearing back onto his trail to wash away some more markings he claims he was resetting it, having laid parts of it three days earlier. On his way out, he was observed picking up Catch Of The Day, and witnesses claim to have seen them enjoying sex in the back of his jag, before he dropped her further along the trail. They must have been going at it for some time, because COTD was the very last of the runners to return, nearly two and a half hours after the start. Wimp trail was a jaunt around the villagesnorth of Hong Lok Yuen, while rambos went up a virgin shiggy trail to the top of Wo Hop Shek cemetery. Those that actually got to this part of the run said it was an excellent shiggy trail well marked. First to return home, giving up on the run, was Cue, utterly failing to find his way out of the Hong Lok Yuen estate despite actually living there. Next back was Gunpowder Plod, claiming to have completed the wimps trail, although it was subsequently revealed that the hare had caught him returning from another direction completely. Following close behind were shortcutters D Ram, Geriatric, and Velcro. While we waited for the rambos to drag their tardy arses back home, QT was generously offering sweets to one and all hash beer Plod having forgotten to buy any crisps. On further questioning, this was called into doubt. Who is older, D Ram or Geriatric? And Plod confessed that he is only nice to his wife when he is high on morphine. Mango was the first of the rambos to return but only if you count returning in a taxi as completing the run. Stingray received acclamation for being the first real rambo to return, but it seems that he too took a wrong turn somewhere with Golden Balls and they did a long-cut down to the bottom of Wo Hop Shek instead of following real trail. Gaele Says No was the next back, again, by a different route. Around this time, the entertainment arrived. Luk Dim Boon had kindly organized a troupe of local dancers to perform their well-choreographed routine to Mandarin pop songs, prancing and twirling next to us, while we waited for more rambos to return. This greatly disturbed D Ram who until then had been chatting up some of the helpers walking dogs in the vicinity. Finally, a little over two hours after the start, when Eunuch finally dragged himself back from the run, I decided that enough was enough and called the circle to order, although Salesman, Liberace and COTD were still out there. But this first attempt to start the circle was interrupted by Velcro, crying out that she had not yet collected hash cash. A few minutes later, the circle did get going despite some hashers special snowflakes worries that the missing three would be upset triggered by our starting without them. The hare was awarded multiple down downs for setting such a crappy run and for generally being a complete fuckwit. The hare was also awarded a down down for the fact that every single runner of the larger than usual pack had their own version of the trail they had followed. No two runners had managed to follow the same route. Not on the wimps, and not on the rambos. It is quite possible that not one runner actually managed to find and follow the true trail for the whole run. From this, I have deduced that the hare did not set a complete run, and, in fact, he only set half a trail and decided to bluff his way through by telling the pack that they just failed to follow his run instructions. You can call me Sherlock. Halfway through the circle, Salesman then Liberace and finally Catch of the Day returned. The first of these turned out to be a mistake when LDB called out Geriatric as a visitor only to discover that this was his second consecutive week in attendance and, furthermore, Geriatric was wearing N2TH3 gear. I do remember circle going on for quite a long time over one and a half hours with the strong circle from time to time devolving into a lot of private circles usually involving either Velcro or Mango. The hare has threatened to set another run in the near future. I despair. Somebody please educate him on how to follow trail rather than just following the other runners, then we can hope he might actually use some chalk, flour and paper when setting trail. Search Search for:. And so it was: Bar number 1: Kings Belly. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all. Chewing the Cud at the Cow Pat A brief discussion of the nature of time and space pertaining to run number Mango caddishly fleeing into the night We gathered together at Fanling Cow Pat to find that hare Eunuch was still somewhere out there, setting trail. And so, off we went. Down-downs included: Hare Eunuch for excessive trail markings; Hare Eunuch for triggering the runners with his sexist markings; D Ram and Geriatric for being triggered; Luk Sup Gow and Alen as returnees; Hendrik and Regina for being virgins and Alen for bringing them. The customary questions ensued although our RA appeared too embarrassed to ask them for the intimate details of their sex lives. Fortunately GB stepped in to cover this and we discovered that Hendrik was an engineering student and planned to be unemployed and Regina was studying human biology as she planned to become a vet. Hendrik claimed to have last had sex mumble and Regina carefully counted back before announcing that she last had sex in July. Our hash religious advisor, St. Finally the GM and RA were awarded down downs for holding an excessively long circle. Subscribe Subscribed. Northern New Territories Hash. Sign me up. Already have a WordPress. Log in now. Loading Comments Email Required Name Required Website.

Buying hash Yuen Long