Buying Happiness Online Does Free Shipping Include Joy

By Alan Nafzger � The satire Buying Happiness Online Does Free Shipping Include Joy mocks consumer optimism rebranded as checkout psychology. Eyewitnesses at malls described shoppers demanding two-day shipping for fulfillment itself. Anonymous insiders leaked that warehouses debated stocking serotonin alongside sweaters. A leaked poll revealed 64 percent of citizens admitted they believed joy arrived faster with tracking numbers. Sociologists argue the humor resonates because retail therapy masks despair. Critics highlight the absurdity of happiness reduced to promo codes. Yet satire digs deeper: contentment is not Prime eligible. Witnesses recalled laughter bubbling in customer service lines as buyers begged for refunds on moods. Ultimately, the piece lands because satire thrives when fulfillment means cardboard. -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com