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I had an idea this morning during meditation always a bad idea , so to get rid of it I wrote it down. Then I thought Violent Femmes Some young women appear to be broken in large numbers. You'll remember this quote from , which you've been told repeatedly is proof I think it cannot Public domain link Why should we learn about demons? I chuckled A good article in American Reformer writes about N. Lewis' Ransom trilogy. Interesting read. It was surprising and a little scary Photo by Miikka A. But I might be starting I wanted to watch the first 'me' thought arise. So I went back Photo by Andrew Solok on Unsplash Everything is self-caused According to certain spiritual teachers I'm thinking of Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj , but there are many. A door mostly closed. On earth we think sinners get away with their crimes for far too long. When I first became interested in spirit, I was absolutely bowled-over by the Jane Roberts 'Seth' books. Oh happy days in , and We walked, often together, from the Mexican border to Silver Things I've been reading lately, and found interesting. Link I'll skip straight to the punchlines: At the same Note One: 'Incels' I saw a riveting clip from this interview last week. When Jordan Peterson displays emotion, I am transfixed. My data ports are The caption for the image above, from a wonderful autumn day in is: 'One of the flowers decides to cross the field. I stumbled across a great blog by a musician and Christian. He has the cohones to admit that Jesus is the way - the principle When you 'return' to the fullest expression of that feeling you can attain, you break bread with Him, and you and He are known to each other. This then becomes for Him a new event after thousands of years without such backward looking glances from His children. He must consider the problem of you. What does it mean, He must ask. The brain can be apprehended as mechanism, as wonderous machine. Go as far as you like into this conception, and you will meet with all the idioms you expect to find, with much else besides. However, it is a machine that recodes itself. I'm thinking about sacrifice for some reason. A note in Dion Fortunes 'Dr. Taverner' stories about an affair between a poor Indian woman and a British administrator, where the affair was unhappy as a sacrifice to pay for the important role the child would play in the world. Walking is not about movement. It is about stillness at a more refined level. The walker is still. The earth moves beneath him. I was being inconsiderate. I only saw that I, quite an exceptional fellow, was doing a Very Good Thing by being here and Couldn't Possibly Be Expected to get every single arcane rule right from the start. My sister reads the cards for me. What a gift to have her in my life. In The Problem of Pain he comes to the end, and attempts to describe Heaven. It is clear that he has touched it not by directly knowing it, but by perceiving the exact shape of its absence here. I don't think I snored when I was younger. But once I reached my thirties, once I was deep in a career, a marriage, and then, fatherhood, I began to snore. It was increasingly loud! It's almost as if there is a Divine Will that prompts my actions. But there is also a delay as I consider and possibly even thwart the action. And also, maybe this is the interesting part, there is a very real sense of Attention in that gap between the prompting and the execution. The conscious attention individuates the subject of its gaze. That is, the energy given to that space assists in the creation of a sort of container around the space, which becomes identity. Much as a toddler, having received the doting care of parents begins to acquire a sense of self, which opens up enormous interior caverns to explore, as well as providing a base for the growing child to explore 'outward' into sensed reality. Well, the good news is, whatever actual values your generation has they'll all be self-discovered and they'll be really yours. Because there seems to be absolutely no boundaries to the life you're living. Feminism is destructive and kills love to the extent it is embraced. I can't stay there after what they did to Andy Ngo So, as a function approaches its limit on an infinite timeline, we approach the limits of mind. Our distractions multiply, but we grow no wiser through our interactions. Already, vigor fades. The halls of the intellect are more crowded than ever before, but the light goes out of their eyes, they move like clocks, they have that dreary appearance of videogame characters for whom motion occurs without energy expenditure. However, one night trying to sleep in that rig caused me to finally send the gear home. I wasn't willing to carry a heavier sleeping bag, so I had one inadequate to the trail -- I was cold! You carefully built a petri dish of sorts, with rules both arbitrary and deadly. You placed yourself inside, and dove deep. Because your spirit flagged. You refuse to live without meaning, and so another part of you comes to your rescue, concocting medicines of snow and ice, friendship and fear. What I called 'me' was only a vehicle to express God. For He needed a vehicle to operate in this world. But He could not help but transform the vehicle as it ran through centuries, acquiring and discarding bodies. He brought the vehicle to knowledge of Self. And once the vehicle understood, it leapt with love into His arms. It wished for nothing else than union with its Maker. I find this image disturbing. It gives the impression of a man under the watchful eye of a couple of angry, possibly alcoholic middle school teachers. He stutters and stammers, losing his lines. He recovers, to the approving nods of the masked women behind him. Think of a GIT repository. Timestamps are meaningless. Instead, the commit hash of a real code change is used to measure difference from an initial state. So, in our own systems, we already recognize time is only meaningful as a container in which work might occur. The true measurement of progress is the commit itself. Those who've known me for a while might remember what a huge fan I was of universal basic income, or UBI as we called it in those halcyon days along about or so. I even put a 'banner' on my Twitter page, indicating it was something that needed to happen NOW and well, I was there to educate you. A story for my great friend. There was a man who joked that his discipline was so poor, that he'd fail to correctly follow even I'm just pasting in a journal entry from a few days before Christmas. I want to remember it because it captures an inflection point in my thinking about this meditation stuff. There is a peculiar kind of frustration on the face of one who would tell you what to do and ease your life. She is Today, running errands, I put my consciousness in the middle space between my eyes and the object I looked at. This relaxes me. It shows I have had two signals from dreams. The first is that my actions are, if not admirable, at least comprehensible, and well, I am struggling In the space between subject and object is the Ground of Being. Here resides the One, my master, to whom I cleave. To one side is the personality, the 'Michael. His infatuation, his fear or desire. For me, conservatism required a long personal journey, in which I finally accorded myself sovereignty in my life. I recognized that my decisions affected others, and more importantly, the stability I provide allows them to grow into themselves. Because I know myself, I am free. Therefore, I want that freedom for others. I'm reading a couple books by Theodore Dalrymple. Absolutely wonderful, even if the news he bears about our culture is disheartening. There is a I enter the desert. I take only what will survive the journey. I leave behind or cut away what will not serve. I know that I used to think I was at the center of an adoring crowd. I lived that way, in my mind. I thought all of you hung on my words. I was empty, so I created fecundity. I schemed and prayed. I am the song that was forgotten. I am still singing, and you can fight your way to me. How and why would you do I parked at the Stausee, just above the charming one-lane tunnel on the Tatzelwurmstrasse above Brannenburg. A trail leads up on winding, abandoned forest road on the east slope of the Schortenkopf, then meets a larger road before becoming trail again with the name 'Steinerne Steig' Stony way. You know, people used to make places of worship. Can you believe, that in Europe at one time, people put energy into making a place to go and sit and pray? Who would do this today? Over the last few years I've studied the Cosmic Doctrine with the help of J. Greer's welcome monthly discussions of new chapters. I pick it up for a month or so, then put it down. Talking with a friend yesterday about the job of ensuring corporate compliance. Making sure the company does proper sign offs. That procedures are in place to make good, legal decisions. My friend was very enthusiastic about it, despite because of? Really cool. I think what he did is simple, but not easy. Try it right now. Imagine a camera, and a crew, and a million dollars pointed at your face. How do you respond without reference to Self? This morning in meditation I imagined my ego as a little park ranger in a beautiful park It wasn't until age 47 that I had an experience that demonstrated for me that there is a loving hand above us that can and does reach down to touch us. I saw that the gaze of others made me tense and full of fear I'll call this the Inquiry Series The sweet fire of burning away I never had patience for poetry, but tonight I made this thang I've recently moved to Markt Schwaben to be closer to my beloved Barbara. During the time of the move, and now, here for a week, I've been gripped by an intense nostalgia that has led me on a few adventures. It's centered in some way around 'Ommadawn,' the album by Mike Oldfield. The best music is actually a key to a lock that is unique to each hearer. The key is formed by the good will of the magician playing the instrument combined with the highest aspect of the listener. Collapse itself isn't funny. But it might be funny that we imagine solving it. But as the clearing expands, so does its circumference and so the area of contact between knowledge and ignorance also grows, and our knowledge of the extent of our ignorance grows with it. A face in the subway. Here I argue that we are doomed like an idiot. There are some great tutorials on YouTube Elijah and Photoshop together East Coker, from All Is Lost A gorgeous machine from the year of my birth. How cool are typewriters, peeps? I'd like to explain how to make an intelligent guess about where north, south, east and west are. It's more useful than you think. I've been getting into Zen. I love how merciless it is. No belief in anything. Beautiful little stories I only knew the days were magic. And I valued them far more than money. I couldn't think of anything else to do with them other than relive them as best as I could. So I would come home, and take myself through the day again in my imagination. It was very important to be completely honest The diagram shows my understanding of the technologies and how they fit together to make a powerful GIS. Some JavaScript to make homework fun. I've been having a great time lately in the climbing gym. With Jaro, Josef or Hannes, we go in the morning and work some routes. JavaScript for the win Fun day with letters from kids A fantastic time in Ortisei Let me count the ways Danno and I had a full day to go hiking, which is unusual for both of us. It's been an unusual spring, with lots of snow even at relatively low elevations. Lately I've been working on the topic of lucid dreaming, dream interpretation, and just generally remembering and recording the experiences from that inner world. For reasons of my own, I'm approaching the problem with these fundamental axioms Making games with paper and pen Last weekend Kris and I took the boys skiing, they hadn't been in a year and it would be their first time at a real ski area with lifts. A friend from a mountain hut comes to Munich and sings! Sometimes I make songs Indulging my passion for music Taking the kids to Disneyland, a rite of passage Incantations, by Mike Oldfield It's huge fun to transcribe music A morning hike in foggy weather with Brecht, who I just met. He studies Ornithology birds, to the layman and had some neat stories. He got some good pictures too. A few weeks ago Rowan came home with a drawing of a butterfly. I was playing the piano when he showed it to me, trying Aside from a year in Houston, my Mom and I lived in Huntsville during my elementary school years. She was trying to earn her degree as a teacher, and raise me at the same time as a single Mom. She already had three mostly grown children, and so aside from some periods where my sister Tamara came to stay for a while it was mostly just us. The way Mom found to make a living brought a lot of fun and excitement to my life and that's what I'd like to share today. Kris, the boys and I packed up early Friday morning and drove down to Riva del Garda, a great little town on the north end of the Garda Lake in Italy. It's a good four hour drive, but the trade off is that you get to a place where it's usually warm and sunny. Although I can't complain, the weather in Germany had been great for more than a week. Tamara found a last minute ticket deal that allowed her to come for two weeks of fun. She cooked us an amazing meal, she brought us mustard direct from Paris, she went to Venice with me, and other sundry fun items! Last night I burned the midnight oil to finish a code project I've been working on since Christmas. It's a bulk uploader for Summitpost. Despite a snazzy Web 2. Therefore, creating a content page on your favorite mountain or climbing route can become an exercise in manual drudgery once you upload more than 10 pictures or so. I'm in Boston for the week, but Kris just sent the cutest thing. Here is Rowan's good night catechism: i love you mommy and i Today was St. Martin's Day. Kids all over Germany make paper lanterns and go out in the night. At our Kindergarten they re-enacted the story of St. A poor, sick man was by the side of the road, very cold. Martin was a knight on a powerful horse, with armor and a beautiful red cape. The man asked him for help. In response, he tore his cape in half, and gave half to the sick man. That is the story of St. In the last week I went on two great hikes with the boys. We were a big group! But the boys felt right at home, holding Josef's hand, or Helga's or Evelyn's at different times. Recently on a Summitpost forum we were talking about the Alps and the Cascades. I spent a few minutes outlining my thoughts We went to Gardasee for 3 days, for our first camping trip with the boys. It was great! We stayed at a campground right on the beach in Riva di Garda. Dan P. With recent snowfall, we needed to stay at lower elevations, preferably south facing. I chose the Martinswand. I'd been there once before to climb a via ferrata which was kind of blech. Sorry, but it's just not a mountain experience when you are endlessly pulling yourself up metal cables, not touching rock at all! Mom, Kris, the boys and I stayed in Bad Hindelang for 5 days. We were just on the German side. They are not very high, and in our area were mostly forested peaks with outcroppings of limestone. But nearby they get pretty exciting. It's a beautiful area where, especially in winter, you can find real solitude despite what everyone says, yes it's true, even in Germany! On the way home from Florence, the weather was too good to miss a driving trip to the Dolomites. Just north of Bolzano we turned east and rapidly climbed up into the mountains. We were hungry for quite a while, but also in a hurry to make it to the Pordoi Pass in order to take a lift up to the Pordoi Spitze. This peak has an amazing degree view of surrounding mountains. Finally we found a little fast food stand there are surprisingly few of these, in fact the area seemed kind of deserted , and got a hamburger and a Panini sandwich. On the first weekend Mom came, I took her and the boys to Tegernsee, where we rode the Wallbergbahn up that mountain to a restaurant. It was Sunday morning, and there is a beautiful little chapel up there During the Middle Ages, Florence became very wealthy because of wool. The Arno River was shallow near the city, and good for carting and dyeing wool. Then bankers appeared, like the Medici family. So they had to plow many profits into the church. A patron economy for the arts sprang up from that, and a very competitive, very productive period began that would last for hundreds of years. Florence was THE place for art, and money too. It was bigger than Paris and London in those days. With some folks from work, I ran in the half-marathon Sunday. Dreading the occasion a little bit, because I've slacked off on any running for the last month or so. The combination of hot weather and visit from Kris's parents gave me a lot of excuses! So I knew it would hurt a bit. I'm happy to report that finally, after two years of effort, ski touring has entered my blood. I can ski well enough now that I hardly ever fall down in a tangle of arms and legs. I do my share of kick turning, which means my descents aren't as joyful as those of a real skier. But I've found a sweet spot with it. My Dad, Thomas F. Soare died Tuesday September 25, after a long fight with throat cancer. He was the greatest husband my Mom could have. He was the best Dad I could have. A chat with a friend reminded me of a piece of music that awakened some parts of me that were hungry for it thirty years

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