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Substack went down today! And a bunch of dorks Substackers were mad about it. All content creation is intrinsically immoral to begin with, but doing it on a Friday, in Summer? And maybe, in Substack going down, what more compelling evidence of the sentience in the machine in the garden getting a clue, ripping out those Wayfarers, and getting to the nearest shoreline? I know: Emotional. Tennis is in New York City, have you heard? The U. Open is coming to the Big Apple yet again! And the most beautiful cool tennis magazine in the world, Racquet , just released a new issue with Summer Fridays first-ballot-hall-of-fame vibes legend Andre Agassi illustrated on its cover! Especially that 6, word cover story on Andre Agassi, which contains this paragraph:. And finally, that awful, stupid, sound, the absolute worst of all those around you which denote time, place, and space: Bpop. It is to the glorious and singular aural percussion of racquet strings against a tennis ball what a paste-eating child popping his finger in and out of his mouth is to Charles Mingus slapping the bass. And again. Andre Agassi is playing pickleball, and I am spending a Saturday morning watching him do it, wondering why any of us, but especially him, are here. And guess who wrote it? Yours truly. Again: This is free. Yes: People. And that predictable development? The existence of noncompetes , which prevent workers in America from seeking other work, is a running joke of a supposedly free-market economy held up by the ideal of free and fair competition. If your job sucks, you should be able to leave for another one. They also exist in my industry, media — and I have told every single person who has ever forced me to sign an NCA any number of the following things, which I urge you to tell them as well:. Non-competes are predatory and monopolistic. Who runs this company, you, or your lawyers? That last one has done the trick quite a bit. Even more fun media gossip: Back when I was at Complex, after the first year of Complex News, when the careers of Brandon Jenkins, Sean Evans, Emily Oberg, and Hanuman Welch were all taking off, Complex wanted to monopolize our on-camera talent and lock them into yearlong non-competes. Two weeks ago, the premiere of the third season of Industry gave that a run for its money. But he is, on occasion, mindblowingly funny, maybe a dadaist playing dumb. Whatever the case, the premise that the Trump campaign would even agree to it is, itself, a joke, affirmed by the fact that it was obvious Zynternet citizen Barron Trump who proposed it. To be clear, I am not the only one:. It's a lot of semi-drunk dudes in skinny work suits who are either kind of networking or trying to get laid. They tend to feature some decent or slightly to moderately washed acts, playing for an audience of political staffers, which with a few exceptions are some of the least culturally interesting people imaginable. Drive By Truckers played at the Our Future, Our Freedom party, which was supposedly the event to go to Wednesday night, but clearly no one knew who they were. Joan Jett was the headliner; she was introduced by the kid who plays Young Sheldon, who gave a speech about the importance of the arts and then dropped it low onstage as he was walking off. It was pretty weird. The CNN Grill has been really the only space for the media to hang out — and it's been actually really fun. It's sort of embarrassing that it's been so much fun. But there's been a huge line at PM before they open at 4PM, and people are waiting to get in all night — there's like a one-in-one-out policy. CEO Jeff Zaslav being such a fan of great parties just dropped. Very few show up, the ones that do tend to be B-List or C-List. And when they get there, they don't have much to do. People kept acting really excited to see the guy from Modern Family walking around who? Jack Schlossberg hid most of Tuesday night in the corner of the backyard of the CNN Grill, not watching the speeches and just looking at his phone. Conway Report: Gossip? Uh: I walked past Kellyanne Conway on the street in downtown Chicago. She was basically half-naked, wearing tiny exercise shorts and a sports bra. Sorry for all the typos, blame Substack. For the new people here, well, all will be explained next week. Only slightly more insane than the fact that I write it! See ya, -F. Independent publishers with sycophantic relationships to their audiences are only trying to build a cult. You want me to go easy on you? Guess who has an arbitration clause in their Terms of Service? Oh yes: The New York Times. But of course. Hey Foster! Share this post. Copy link. Aug 23, Discussion about this post Comments. Fabio Silverio. Jess Chermak. Narrative Musings. Am I about to go run around East Hampton looking for a copy of Racquet? Expand full comment. Ready for more? Start Writing Get the app. Substack is the home for great culture. This site requires JavaScript to run correctly. Please turn on JavaScript or unblock scripts. Expand full comment Reply Share.
The hottest gatekeeping trend in America this summer, plus: Substack outages, Andre Agassi, cocaine owls, a special report from the DNC, and so, so much more.
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