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When expensive tourist-friendly restaurants in Lima began serving ceviche after the sun went down, quite a few Peruvian heads shook at the sad state of affairs. Holster the plastic. Keeping the plastic in your wallet could save you a few hundred bucks during your trip. Beware the clandestine cabbies. Everyone with wheels is a potential taxi driver in Peru. Market vendors sell plastic TAXI signs that any dude looking to make a few extra soles can strap to the top of his car. Unfortunately, Matt has had some experience with this in past trips to Peru. Look for the cabs with the boxy taxi signs that light up and with some form of registration in the window or on the dashboard. Hook up a pisco IV. That means embracing the fiery, brandy-like elixir called pisco, a distillation of crushed grapes and national pride that lies at the heart of every good buzz the country over. It should be your lifeblood while in these parts. Pisco sours are ubiquitous, but two other pisco-fueled favorites should not be ignored: the Chilcano, pisco mixed with ginger ale and lime, and the Capitan, a dark, brooding Manhattan made with pisco instead of rye. Tell them you want your pisco sour shaken or not at all. Screw the travel agencies. Pressed for time, Matt let a charming agent at the Cusco airport talk him into letting her company handle my travel arrangements. The next 10 hours were some of the most frustrating of his traveling life, complete with a missed train, bogus tickets, and a low-speed police chase. His experience was extreme, no doubt, but horror stories about counterfeit tickets and sheisty operators abound around Cusco. Buy your train tickets a few days in advance directly from the train company, make your Machu reservations online, and use the money you save to buy beer and coca for the train ride up. Chew it like the Incas. Grab a bag from any market in Cusco or surrounding area, pop a few leaves in your mouth and start chewing. No, this is not cocaine technically, coca leaves contain about 0. Pro tip: Llipta, a form of lye that both softens the bitterness and teases out the alkaloids in coca, should be sought out vigorously by those looking for a stronger lift. The mosquitoes in the Amazon, at least in the corner outside of Iquitos that Nathan visited, are unfazed by our sophisticated chemicals. Remember that scene in Fierce Grace , where Ram Dass talks about how Guru-ji Neem Karoli Baba ate a fistful of acid tabs at once—his first encounter with LSD—and just continued sitting in lotus position completely unaltered? The real pro visitors to the Amazon turn to the Cock ring, an inelegantly-named Chinese mosquito coil that seems to unnerve the swarming culicidae. After Nathan drank Ayahuasca, the glowing ember at the end of the coil was transformed in his hallucinations into a glowing eye of Sauron looming over smoking, black mountains. It was just a taste of the terror that the mosquitoes must feel for this, the feared Cock ring. On the streets of Iquitos, the surprisingly wicked metropolis in the Amazon, Pasta is not a complex carbohydrate. And yes, in the land of coca leaves, crack is still a big thing. If you smoke crack behind her back, she will punish you upon your next meeting. Get off the Gringo Trail. The best days we had in Peru—a morning in Lomo Corvina talking politics and downing quinoa with locals, an afternoon in the area south of Cusco, feasting on the specialties of the tiny villages we passed —were the result of zero planning. Prolong the feast. An airport meal after a week of serious eating is like working on your taxes immediately after having sex. The juxtaposition is almost too much to take. That means you have one last chance to stuff yourself stupid with whole roast beasts, soft and savory chicken sandwiches, skewered beef hearts, and mountains of crispy papas fritas. It also may be one of the only places in the world where a waiter in a suit will deliver you a Big Mac. Keep it classy, Peru. Join our newsletter to get exclusives on where our correspondents travel, what they eat, where they stay. Free to sign up. Jun 18 Author: Matt Goulding and Nathan Thornburgh ,. In Peru. Pisco, stuff of the gods. Photo by: Matt Goulding. Swinging the big stick against mosquitos. Photo by: Nathan Thornburgh. Convivial hosts. Cusco, Unplanned Trout, beer and serendipity in the valleys outside of Cusco, Peru. Featured City Guides. More Guides.
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