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I went to buy a memory card for my camera, some organic rice, peanut butter, flour and cous cous. I rode the bus along the coastal road high up overlooking cliffs, the island Brach and various turquoise colors of the sea that run between the island and the mainland. The turquoises turn to purples and blues and the way in which the water moves is different everyday. One evening this past week after a tormented morning of wind and rain, I howled like a wolf with it and painted, and the sun cut into the shore at a diagonal and the waves rippled like I had not seen before. The sunset gleamed through the mountainous clouds forming a window into the infinite baby blues of another world farther north. Stone peers on which I had not seen fisherman before. I ate fish today in a soup with carrots and potatoes - mrkva i kumpir - thanks to Martica and Mario. My point, if I back up to the fisherman on the peer, is that there are things that one can know only by the life one lives - where they live and how they live. I imagine that those fisherman observed the same change in the vibration of the sea that I did and knew that it would bring the fish to distinct areas. It comes in the tangible realm. In this information age, we have access to many ideas and stories but it is those ideas and stories that become actions and flesh that form the consciousness and lives of the masses. I keep my eyes open. I see new things that pierce my reality and alter my course on a daily basis. The world is fascinating! The Interactions of all beings takes place in a vortex of spiraling networks and possibilities infinite. I think about how I used to see the world in images around me like blinds covering a window. Now I see relational view; everything an energy exchange amidst the infinite possible interactions of humans, plants, animals, water, fire, soil, wind. Everything matters, learning opportunities are all ways and people are always becoming so they do what they do because of a lot more factors than what easily meets the eye. One must look and one must feel because we live in a grand illusion - to each his own. Humans have discovered and manipulated incredible forces. We are brilliant! The most brilliant creators, doers, inventors are the ones who can transmit their brilliance unto others. For, if not, their brilliance dies when they do. Humanity has gone along for millions of years gaining and losing vast amounts of knowledge. Things are passed on in different ways: by having children, writing books, making films, starting a corporation, living, being, breathing, smiling on the street, understanding and evolving the electrical circuits that have evolved this machine that I write to you on and more. So we go along loving and killing and working and what have you and, generally speaking, similar things get passed down to each generation: e. I think of Mario and Darko who both built their own homes. These men know where their water comes from, they grow olives and various veggies. Less now than it was before. Croatia Hrvatska is changing as is the rest of the world. It has been years since Mario made his own wine BUT he still does buy it locally from a man up on the mountain. I think about myself: dropped into the world from another planet of electronics and gadgets and faucets and toilets and everything already seemed made - known - done. It was like. This is the grand illusion. The image is greater than the reality. Anyways, I never once knew where the water came from in any house I lived, never planted a damn thing and could barely cook an egg until I got to Argentina. Thank God you are a survivor mom because you taught me a lot. For one, I am very fiscally prudent. I use money for survival and in situations of true human connection or exploration. I heard that he draws a bit and is getting into graphic design so I wanted to open up some possibilities for further creation. You gave me an incredible strength that is impenetrable. The strength of a Lion but at the same time you taught me to Feel. I remember in classrooms feeling this natural respect for the teacher speaking to the point where it would physically bother me if other students were talking while he or she was. I Feel the different relational factors that motivate their actions. I see beyond, beyond and beyond the image and read between the lines. I see the past because I have looked into the past, been people of the past, watched old films, read history and wandered and lived amongst ancient civilizations. Ancient civilizations like the one I am currently in. Like I said, I was dropped into the world and it seemed like we already knew everything. I am always wondering how all these buildings and underground networks of pipes and tunnels and roads and networks came to be over thousands of years. Well, the men working the cranes and pouring the concrete and smoking their cigarettes from North Carolina are building it right now. In the future we will communicate in images. The vast amount of images that we are accumulating in the digital realm are an international language. Books will be conglomerated pieces or phrases from different movies and filmed events. We are moving towards the spacetime when so many images of the world around us have been created that a oneness of image permeates through the global collective-conscious. There will be water shortages and death but hierarchal structures of governance and power will begin to flatten. Consciousness is expanding and we are returning to plant our own things but the time that it takes a plant to grow is competing with the speed at which the people wish to go. The mass acceleration is on. The world is heating up and like a pot of boiling water, we are the bubbles dancing in the heat. We create tomorrow! Un pueblo unido no puede ser vencido - a united town cannot be conquered. We Can! Physically, Brela and the mountain above - Biokovo - have put me in some of the best shape of my life but this past week Monday I felt I reached a point of imbalance in body. For some reason in the night I was struggling to get full breaths and it scared me. I went outside to walk up the hill. I thought maybe the air in Brela from Jugo was strange and this was the reason. This is a time of year when a lot of people get sick here because Jugo comes from the South and shakes things up. Stipe told me that in ancient times, one received a lesser punishment if the crime they committed was during Jugo. I thought about this. Then I thought maybe my stomach was getting in the way of my lungs from all the chapati bread I ate that night under the stars so I made myself throw up. Anyways, I still could not get full breaths and so decided that something was out of balance with me. Martica cooks well and often includes her own cabbage or other veggies but there is always meat and a glass of mountain wine to chase it down. That combo and figs with Stravka, Darko and fam after lunch has often left me feeling a bit acidic. Also, in the 2 weeks prior to the breathing issue, I went out with Jure and some guys to watch Hajduk and drank too many beers and smoked some mary by association. My body has told me no more Mary. I must listen. So taking all into account, I felt that the wet climate outside was not jiving well with the wet beer soaked climate inside my body. I felt I was too full of liquids and the bread was not helping as it is like a sponge. From Tuesday through Friday, I fasted on only rice and garlic and from Wednesday through Friday put ginger compresses on my chest each night to try and open things up. Ginger Compress heat water to boil then turn off flame put 4oz estimate shredded ginger when water is pale yellow, put in towels to soak when you can stand the heat, take out towel, squeeze excess and place over affected area. For me, the effected area was my chest lungs and throat so I placed the towel in 3 successive places around that area. The compress can be good for stomach issues, soar muscles too. It says:. Yin and Yang, physically speaking, are centrifugal and centripetal force, respectively. Centrifugal force is expansive: it produces silence, calmness, cold and darkness. Centripetal force, is constrictive and produces sound, action, heat and light in turn. Basically, I hold on to the terms expansion-contraction, hot-cold, outward-inward, up-down. Think of Yin food as fruits, coffee - uppers, light. Yang is heavy and grounded. The way I think about it is like a spiral - everything spirals around an infinite balance - a center point - the Heart Center. In my explorations with the fast and living on an organic farm in Argentina, Ana, the medicine woman and grandmother, talked a lot about internal heat as a cause of sickness. That is, chronic overheating of the system over time creates dis-nutrition and therefore dis-ease of the system. They were too Yin and so needed to become Yang. I related this to my circumstance at the time after Colombia and found similarities. I try to think about spiraling around the infinite balance. If I get too far one way, I try to bring myself back to the other. Please, my explanation is incomplete here. If you are interested, look further. Each day this week, I physically felt myself getting better and better with the rice fast. I noted more full breaths. I said fuck that. Perception is reality. I have been very connected internally this week with fears and dreams. I have felt myself walking with a higher power. I have nearly completed a painting on a canvas of 75 by 55cm that I began Monday. It is from the perspective of the top of the mountain overlooking the sea. I have gone along figuring out how to create that perspective as I go. It is to leave with Martica. By Friday, I felt that I had completely cleared myself of excess liquid and was near percent breathing. I feel good. It is going to be an amazing challenge and learning experience! A central vortex of world changing energy. I imagine that I will be coming back in May to America to rest up and prepare. We are going to meet in Turkey somewhere around March 25 and travel around together! The bonding of our two energies at this point is going to be massive. Wow, Wow! I wish to respond to some of your letters since I have not done so. I have just reread maybe 4 or 5 dating back to February 4. Oil, Uranium? I read once that a lot of Uranium was mined in Utah. It is a shock for me in many respects to return to the US but one respect is the massive army-like vehicles I see on the road hauling who knows what. It is difficult to explain. The amount of energy that is flying around in a given day or night - the amount of force - it is an extremely violent and fast energy. I was walking along a highway in the North of Germany one night when I hitchhiked from Eva to Berlin looking for a ride and being passed by endless streams of gargantuan trucks. To be out on the highway and not in a vehicle is to be exposed to this mass of beastly, screaming, raging machines careening by at 75mph spewing fire and toxic fumes - to be in the jungle - in survival mode. It is certainly an interesting perspective to gain. Anyways, I was very impressed with your writing and telling of your adventure. You brought me into your life for a moment so i could see what you saw and that has been the struggle of humans for as long as there have been humans. I especially am in wonder of that because I am rather lonely these days - despite all I am involved in. It is deeper. I think you and I are very connected in ways that we do not fully acknowledge or understand. I think despite the physical distance, we send signals to each other so that we feel similar things at the same time. I think in some ways I struggle to fully commit my heart to another woman because I am so attached to you. Maybe that parting is a successive stage of growing up but what I mean is I find it very difficult to detach myself from your state of being - your loneliness. I carry it with me. That is no fault of yours and by the way, can we move our collective consciousness to understand that fault is non-existent because there is only experiment? This life is a trial and error. I do experience and have experienced loneliness in the past. When I was a kid and teenager it always seemed that in one way or another, my friends would ditch me. This was a pattern until I flipped it and ditched them and everything I knew for Santiago, Chile. It is only now that I grasp some of the motivations behind my actions and that many of my former friends live inside me still - in my dreams, my contemplations and daily life as if I was still I know that I have not finished my story with them - not healed - and for that I am trying to reconnect with some. I have done so with Richard via a call in the US and a recent exchange of birthday letters. He is a good soul. I wish to do so with Al and Max at some point. I have, since post fast Argentina , been traveling back to the time when I was cut from society, not recognized for my abilities, not believed in, not guided, not helped - blinded but forced to pull up my bootstraps which I did. I remember Joanne and you talking about pods. I know that my pod, my ship of souls is big and comprised of people from all over the world and spacetime. Not to mention family in all corners. My loneliness today is largely self imposed. Some of it is necessary for creation and world exploration, some of it is a product of unresolved demons and pains. I gain strength however, from alone time - my inner workings procure a focused energy within that is the source of my capacities on a daily basis. This is a level of consciousness and inner peace we all must reach for in daily practice. I also need human interaction but how hard do I have to make that? We are only 7 billion plus on the planet. When we hide from our feelings, we only obscure the underlying motivations further. I believe loneliness is an ego-defense pattern of thought for me and often, not always, is a choice, whether I am aware of it or not. I have the opportunity to fully express myself and love many of the humans around me. The energy I put out is the energy I will receive. I must come through the needle point. I must continue to work. I feel that all my writings, reflections and creations are like clues that I leave myself along the way so that with spacetime I can learn through remembrance and relational perspective of myself then and now. To remember is to learn. In particular though, I do not wish to discuss my father in negative terms because he is my father and my relationship is different than your relationship. My inner self can play shadow games to hide and maybe that is necessary for life. You know the Buddhist monks who committed suicide in protest of Chinese occupation or something in the 60s by sitting calmly in a meditative posture and lighting themselves on fire in the street to demonstrate human capacity to transform and disconnect from the body - to feel no pain. To me that says that a lot of our sufferings are chosen. They are shadow games by the ego but again, maybe in this realm that we find ourselves along the sands of human evolution, we need some biting fight within to deal with the amount of war and death around us - to live. I think we can choose to live and love and love ourselves in turn. You are an incredibly strong person to face yourself time and time again. I am very proud of your strength and wisdom to do what you are doing. You are lighting the torch and showing the path. Your letter was an expression of anger that must come out. It was a clue you left yourself like something out of a Nancy Drew so that one day you can leave that anger too. Do you know the feeling when you wake up from deep sleep and you can feel the breaths all the way down to the bottom of your trachea? That is what I have today. It feels like whatever was going on is leaving. Eric has taken to vegan practice of late in his exploration into food and health. I fully believe that vegan eating is the next step in the evolution of the human. I fully believe in the mental and physical benefits of a plant and grain based diet as opposed to meat and dairy. For example, I believe a diet heavy in animal meat makes more fear in the human. This is difficult to quantify but in my experience here in Brela with a heavy meat diet, I have had many connections with the fear of dying. That is ok - they have been good opportunities to touch with my mortality and feel but I theorize they are related to the amount of rotting carcass in my system. Meat also seems to make me more aggressive, more angry or short circuited and more ready for battle. I feel that it weighs me down spiritually. In the last week with only rice, I felt light and very connected. That said ok let me preface I have been around and lived with many people who are into healthful food movements - Permaculture, vegan, vegetarian, paleo, macro etc. I have heard and experienced various philosophies of what the diet of the human should be. I have heard rumors of people who apparently live by the energy of the sun and that alone. I lived by the sun and that alone with water, mint tea for 12 days fasting without food and continue to practice fasting on a regular basis as a spiritual, physical and mental retreat and tool to slow down and come in touch with myself. My explorations have been deep and are ongoing. The journey into food is a journey into the self and that is the journey of a lifetime. Everything has an energy about it like a halo. How food was grown, in what soil it was grown, where it was grown, how it came to the plate and how you treat it all affect how it affects you. They said newcomers to the farm often have stomach pains for the first few days because our systems are not accustomed to eating live food. All the food in the market has been dead for days, weeks, months. So I come full circle from vegetarianism at 22 to Permaculture farms, living with trees and without time and fasts and now find myself eating the local fare of meat and meat and veggies. Though I believe vegan eating is a goal for me to reach, overall health comes from a multitude of environmental and emotional factors in addition to dietary choices. In America, many people have a fucked up relationship with food. They tend to view it like they do history - linear - point a to b to c. This is good, that is bad, this makes this happen, makes that happen, makes that happen Our language is dualistic, our understanding is dualistic. People think a lot about the what and they forget about the how. How one cooks and eats is equally as important as what one cooks or eats. A way I can illustrate this point is to refer to the French or the Danes. Neither has near the obesity problem that America does yet both have a rich food culture of sweets, cakes, and baked goods. Soul food. Balance is key. Is it the right time of season to be eliminating excess fats that you may get from tuna or cheese? No is the answer to the second question. Diet is also based on biorhythms and the place in which one lives. Do you ship in the veggies causing environmental damage that way this is what we do today? No, you eat what the land provides. If one lives in Iceland, the earth provides you with little opportunity for veggie growth but a wealth of sheep and reindeer. The body adapts. Your body mom has been eating the same way for 30 years or more and has adapted accordingly. Your bones, muscles, tissues, tendons, brains, are of what you have eaten. Understand that just how your body adapted to your present diet, it will need some time to adapt to changes. Feel each day how the food you are taking in is affecting you. Connection with food and the self is key to health. I believe strongly in a diet based in grains rice, oats, cous cous, millet, quinoa, whole grains and vegetables can supply you with what you need to be healthy and strong and remove high blood pressure and anxiety. The work you are doing in group will also help to fade the pills away as you remove anger and rooted emotions that you have carried throughout your life. You are truly in a transformation. You will have health and love! Spring is the rebirth of the planet when you will receive more energy from the sun and grow as a flower does. Make changed then. Rhizomatic Rivers. Saturday Transformations Europe. Date of occurrence. It seems only right. Death may be our shadow but to live is the sun. Fire, the transformer Water, the blood Wind, for flying of course Soil, our skin and bones I think about the baker of bread who massages the dough and fires it everyday for the community. Therefore, we are a lot more than what meets the eye. People believe, the image is powerful, perception becomes reality. Without the industrialized world in which I lived. I mean. That capacity to Feel. I have gained perspective on my place in the sands of space time. I see the future. Maybe there will be movements to bring existence back a bit into the tangible realm. The internet is changing the world faster than ever before. Time travel is real. Information is free to the masses for the first time. Will we learn? Will I learn? I see both good and bad. Globalization is a factor of us becoming nomadic peoples once more - without homes. Things tend to even out. I am optimistic. My Next Point Health. Join the Conversation. You May Also Like. 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