Butterfly Sex Position

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Butterfly Sex Position
February 24, 2021, 4:30 PM · 5 min read
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There is no sex position I love more than the butterfly. Well, except maybe for the missionary position . I know the ol' mish gets a bad rep, but sometimes you just want to lie there and do nothing, you know?
Feel me? Both missionary and the butterfly positions are super easy and low-effort on the vulva owner's part. It's a dream for any submissive-leaning babes, or just lazy AF lovers. (No shade here!)
The butterfly, in my humble opinion, has a certain something that missionary lacks: General sexiness. It looks acrobatic and daring, when really, it's not. "You can easily be considered a pillow princess in this position as you are on the receiving all of the pleasure without having to put in much effort," says Taylor Sparks, erotic educator and founder of Organic Loven , one of the largest BIPOC-owned online intimacy shops. What could be more dope?
If you're a person who loves sex, but is not so big on the heavy lifting, the butterfly position is the one for you. You'll feel like a damn goddess, all while relaxing on your back like the luxuriating mermaid you know you are.
Intrigued? Here's how to master the butterfly. And may you fly, fly, fly to many orgasms.
The butterfly sex position is when the vulva owner (or bottom) lies at the edge of the bed and the person with the penis (or dildo, strap-on) stands in front of them. The bottom drapes their legs over the top's shoulders, or can relax them out to the sides. It's really adorable, actually. Together you look like a literal butterfly. The bottom is the wings and the top is the body.
It's still hot though. Very hot, I promise.
The butterfly position is a pretty easy one to get into. The vulva owner lies on their back (yay 🎉), with their butt scooched all the way to the edge of the bed, couch, table, etc. "The top then inserts their penis (or dildo) into their partner's vagina or anus as the bottom partner then drapes their legs over the top's shoulders," says Zachary Zane , a sex expert for Lovehoney .
Kenneth Play , an international educator and creator of the Sex Hacker , warns that you should mind the height of the surface you're lying on. You want the person with the penis or dildo to line up correctly with your pelvis. "Don't have your shins too close to the bottom of the bed frame or you're going to bang your shins," he adds.
As if getting to be completely lazy weren't reason enough to love this, there are a bunch of other benefits to the butterfly position, too. "The butterfly sex position allows for incredibly deep penetration," says Sparks, helping you access and stimulate all the deep vaginal erogenous zones that feel amazing. "The top can also hold on to the partner's upper thighs to increase power and intensity while thrusting."
This is a fabulous position to lean into a Dominant/submissive dynamic . Playing with power control is a sexy way to make all your sexual experiences more exciting." (Related: What It's Really Like to Be a Dominatrix )
This is an ideal position to incorporate toys, since the clitoral glans (the external portion of the clitoris, at the top of the vulva) is right there, ready for additional stimulation. "The bottom can easily put a bullet vibrator to their clitoris for additional stimulation," explains Zane. (Related: The Best Bullet Vibrators for Anytime Pleasure )
Lastly, Play says this position is an awesome workout for the top. "You can thrust with powerful muscles like the glutes, hamstrings, and hip flexors for good, consistent thrusting," he says.
If you're ever in pain or something isn't doing it for you, don't forget that not every position is for everyone and that's completely okay. "Communicate, communicate, communicate! Never be afraid to advocate for your own pleasure and what your partner(s) can do to improve it as well as listen and encourage the same from them," says Tiana North , a polyamorous educator, activist, co-founder of The Sex Worker Survival Guide , a non-profit organization advocating for the rights and safety of sex workers.
With that in mind, try these techniques and tweaks to make the butterfly sex position work for you.
If deep penetration is not your jam, Zane has a workaround: "The bottom can put their legs on their partner's chest or shoulders in the 'launch pad' position. This allows the bottom to better control the depth of penetration," he says. "This variation is ideal if the bottom has a more shallow vagina, or the top is particularly well-endowed."
The vulva owner can lift their pelvis up (and the top partner can hold their hips) for a variation you could totally call the "flying butterfly." If the surface you're on isn't quite high enough to match up your vagina with your partner's penis or dildo, this tweak can help you get aligned. (Speaking of alignment, also try the coital alignment technique, aka the CAT position .)
If you have inflexible hips, having them open for a prolonged period can cause pain. Instead, lie on your side, both legs together in a spoon position. Your partner can still enter you in the same way they would if your legs were apart or extended vertically. This not only feels more comfortable, but will make for a tighter feel for the top. Personally, I've nicknamed this the "sleeping butterfly."
Gigi Engle is a certified sexologist, educator, and author of All The F*cking Mistakes: A Guide to Sex, Love, and Life . Follow her on Instagram and Twitter at @GigiEngle.
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Medically Reviewed by Dan Brennan, MD on June 28, 2021
The butterfly is a sex position where the partner with a vagina lies on their back at the edge of the bed or other surface, and the partner with a penis stands or kneels in front and between the partner’s legs. The standing partner does most of the work. The partner lying down can move their legs for comfort and stimulation.
Known as “The Blossoming Position” in the ancient text the Kama Sutra , this position is considered very pleasurable because of deep penetration. Also, the clitoris can be manually stimulated in this position.
In the butterfly sex position, the receiving partner lies down and the partner with a penis stands in front so that the pelvis is a few inches above their partner’s pelvis. 
The butterfly is a very easy and versatile sex position that is comfortable for both partners. Many similar positions with slight differences are known by different names. Partners can try slight adjustments to see which options are most enjoyable for both. Below are several variations to this popular position.
The standing person leans forward into their partner’s legs, pushing the legs back toward the head.
The partner that is lying down rests both legs on one shoulder of the person who is standing. This creates a tighter fit for penetration.
By crossing the legs and placing the left ankle on the left shoulder of the standing partner and the right ankle on the right shoulder, crisscross creates a smaller insertion point for the penis.
With the legs pointed directly at the ceiling, the partner lying down creates a 90-degree angle with their body.
While the partner with a penis is on their knees, the other person bends one leg outward, and their partner pushes down on that leg.
Similar to the praying mantis position, the sandwich is when the partner lying down bends both legs outward while the other person pushes down on both legs.
The partner on their back squeezes their legs together and bends the knees up toward their chest, resting the heels on their partner’s chest.
The standing partner pushes the other person’s legs straight back toward their head, eventually touching their toes to the surface they are lying on. This position should only be done if the partner who is lying down is very flexible.
The poses in the traditional Kama Sutra typically describe vaginal penetration by a male, but same-sex couples can do many of the moves, too.
It’s Uncomfortable for the Receiving Partner
Because the butterfly position allows for deep penetration, some receiving partners may find this uncomfortable. But just because deep penetration is possible doesn’t mean it has to happen. The partner with the penis can take care to go slowly and be considerate of their partner’s comfort and pleasure. Good communication is key to making this position work.
As with all aspects of sexual intercourse, communication between partners is essential. Make sure you both know what the position is and that you both feel comfortable. Sex is about playfulness, says Dr. David Yarian, Ph.D. , licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist, in Oprah Magazine. He suggests limiting your expectations for what you want to achieve and focusing on pleasure and playfulness instead.
Talking to Your Partner About Trying the Butterfly
If this is a new position for you and your partner, you’ll want to discuss how you’ll try it and where. If you’re interested in trying variations, plan to communicate clearly when you’ll switch up the position. You can keep in mind a few ideas for keeping this position both comfortable and pleasurable:
The butterfly sex position allows for deep penetration, so you should use caution when attempting it.
Depending on the variation of the butterfly, the leg muscles can be strained or injured if not properly stretched beforehand. You should also use caution with the hips and pelvic muscles and ligaments.
Additionally, the upright partner must be cautious about applying too much weight when pushing down on their partner’s legs, especially in the anvil and Viennese oyster variations. 
Bad Girls Bible: “Butterfly Sex Position.”
The Family Planning Association: "Orgasms in UK Women - an Online Survey."
The Health Site: “Try this new sex position – the butterfly.”
The Oprah Magazine: “9 Rewarding Kama Sutra Sex Positions for Couples to Try.”
© 2005 - 2022 WebMD LLC. All rights reserved.
WebMD does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

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By Gigi Engle Published: May 17, 2021
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Gigi Engle is a writer, certified sexologist, sex coach, and sex educator. Her work regularly appears in many publications including Brides, Marie Claire, Elle Magazine, Teen Vogue, Glamour and Women's Health.
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It's your one-way ticket to sex god status.
If you’re looking to be [Insert Your Name], God of Sex, look no further than the Venus Butterfly sex position. This MF-er is the jam, my friends. It is a sex position that focuses on the vulva, combining internal stimulation of the vagina and G-spot area with external stimulation of the clitoral glans.
Combined internal and external clitoral stimulation? Oh my! It’s like a smorgasbord of female-bodied delight. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to master your dexterity and give your partner many, MANY orgasms. If this sounds like your jam, let’s go! Here’s everything you need to know about the Venus Butterfly.
The Venus Butterfly is a position that focuses entirely on female-bodied pleasure. It is basically a love note dedicated to the vulva (and vagina). Its purpose? To engage the entire clitoris, both external and internal, in one harmonious extravaganza.
In its most classic form, the receiving partner lies on their back, legs spread and bent like a butterfly. The giving partner lies or kneels between them in order to have optimal access to the vulva and vagina with their mouth, hands, and toys.
“The position has a lot of variety, as you can use fingers, toys, or even a tongue internally while stimulating the clit with any of the above,” explains Lorrae Bradbury , a sex coach and founder of the sex-positive site Slutty Girl Problems . “You can mix and match any tools and techniques for pleasure, as long as there’s both internal and external stimulation.”
Now, if you’re thinking: OK, but what about my dick? Does that count as internal? You CAN technically use a penis as the internal factor, but I’d think of that as an improved missionary rather than endow it with the holy name of the goddess Venus, you vibin’ with me?
Firstly, this position is designed to focus on your female/clitoris-owning partner, so the first benefit is that it can make for some very fun power dynamics. Plus, it shows you truly care about their pleasure and are devoted to giving them pleasure. This can help any shy babes amongst us feel empowered and sexy. Good sex requires being in a positive headspace, so anything you can do to help your partner get there is a bonus.
The Venus Butterly is also the center of what we educators call the blended orgasm : Combined stimulation of different (but similar) erogenous zones for a truly explosive orgasmic experience. “Stimulation of multiple sites is extremely important for vulva-owners’ pleasure,” explains Kenneth Play , a world-renowned sex hacker and creator of the Sex Hacker Pro Series . “In this sex act, you get to stimulate the clit, G-spot, and any other spots in the vagina ( A-spot or cervix ) all at once. This leads to stimulation of the many nerve pathways that go up to the brain all at the same time, creating a richer subjective experience.”
Lastly, amongst all this other goodness is this technique’s truly wondrous capacity for variation. “It’s the perfect oral position to get creative and experimental with oral,” Bradbury says.
Since the Venus Butterly position has nearly endless variations, it can also be used for some anal play. “ Rimming (or oral stimulation around the anus) can be a fantastic warm-up and relaxation technique before exploring anal penetration,” Bradbury says. “Start slow with a lot of lubrication and gently massage the area in circular motions to relax the sphincter muscles. Be sure to use a lot of lube and go slow and gentle with any penetration.”
You can also stick to rimming on its own, sans penetration—whatever feels best for you. Your partner can stimulate themselves during rimming with a dual action toy like the Ose 2 by Lora DiCarlo . ( Check out this guide for our favorite dual stimulators for vulvas).
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