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When you picture a butch woman, who comes to mind? Maybe it’s Poussey or Boo from Orange is the New Black , each sporting short hair and a boyish swagger. Maybe it’s Ruby Rose, who blurs gender. Maybe you picture an innocuous short-haired woman like Tig Notaro or Alison Bechdel, or a generic woman with dreadlocks, a strap-on and an easy smile, like Young M.A. Regardless, all of these images have something in common: “masculinity.”
Now what do you think these women like in bed? Go ahead, take a guess. If traditional straight men are anything to judge by, then butch women probably like to be dominant. They like to penetrate.
But that’s just not true. Remember Domo and Crissy , the butch/femme couple where the butch woman – gasp! – was the one to get pregnant? The Internet erupted in flames because the “wrong one” got pregnant.
Clearly, when we impose archaic homonormative and proto-masculine ideas onto queer couples, we end up wrong.
Arielle Scarcella sat down with several butch women to discuss stereotypes about what butch women want in bed. “What would people be surprised to know about you specifically?” she asked.
One butch woman admitted, “I’m really versatile. I’m usually the one to initiate and take care of her first – but then it’s my turn!”
Another woman looked proud when she said, “I can only really orgasm vaginally.” AKA, from being penetrated.
One woman explained why it’s so uncommon to believe that butch women can enjoy being dominated. It comes back to toxic masculinity. “If you do enjoy receiving penetration,” she says, “that takes away from your masculinity.” # MasculinitySoFragile it even applies to women.
Of course, not all butch women like to be dominant, and some dislike penetration. And that’s completely okay. But don’t make assumptions about what a girl wants in bed based on her biceps and buzz cut.
If only the world was as “open-minded” as us… Alas, matters of sexual identity and equal love, often cause so much friction in the rest of the world. Here, find an open dialogue on the issues facing our LGBT community.
Elliot Page has come out as trans with a powerful message of love and hope.
Singers Lizzo and Janelle Monae also appear on this year’s Out100 list.
Emmy Award-winning actress plays a protective mother who becomes quite terrifying over the course of the movie.
It’s the deadliest year on record for the transgender or gender non-conforming community.
Batwoman’s new trailer offers a first look at new lead Javicia Leslie in action as Ryan Wilder.
The model sister of Kate Moss says she’s open to relationships with people of “any gender”.
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If you've scrolled through Grindr, Tinder, or even queer sections of TikTok recently, you'll have seen "top," "bottom," or "verse" in a bio or two.
The popular terms describe sexual preferences in the queer community.
While the terms were originally used to describe the sexual preferences of queer men in the 1970s, more LGBTQ+ people have adopted the terms to talk about what they like in sex.
Top/bottom/verse discourse has grown more visible lately on TikTok, where queer people have been making videos describing the unique struggles of each preference.
It's important to note that each of these categories means something a little different to each person, so no one definition is perfect. Here is a general idea of what it means to be a top, bottom, or verse.
Tops generally prefer to take a more active role in sex by acting as the person who penetrates, gives oral sex, or does other sexual acts. For people with penises, this can mean wanting to be the person penetrating rather than receiving. For people with vaginas , it can mean preferring to give oral sex rather than receive, according to queer publication Autostraddle.
Because queer sex can look many different ways, being a top doesn't necessarily refer to the specifics of how sex is had. Instead, it refers to a power dynamic in which one person is in control and the other person takes the lead.
Within the category of "top," there are subsections that may refer to the specifics of how people like to have sex.
A "stone top" refers to someone who only likes to "give" during sex and not receive. This can mean penetration, oral sex, or other acts and comes from the term "stone butch" which was a common masculine gender expression in lesbian spaces in the 1970s, 80s, and 90s, and is still used today by some people within the community.
"Touch me nots" fall within "stone tops" as they refer to queer people, often transmasculine people or lesbians, who do not like to be touched during sex under any circumstances and instead only like to give.
Bottoms typically like to receive during sex, whether that means oral sex, being penetrated during sex, or other sexual acts. However, like with tops, the specifics of the sex aren't as important as the power dynamic.
Generally, bottoms are people who relinquish control during sex and follow the lead of the person topping them. But that doesn't mean bottoms can't be assertive and active during sex.
"Power bottoms" refer to bottoms who direct their tops exactly how to please them during sex and are very vocal when they are doing it wrong. "Bratty bottoms" are similarly vocal and generally tease the person topping them in a demeaning and playful way.
While some bottoms may be open to topping every so often, there are categories of bottoms who never like to be the person penetrating or giving oral sex. Like stone tops, "stone bottoms" are firm about their boundaries on touching their partners and not like to be the person penetrating or giving oral sex.
Sometimes referred to as "pillow princesses," stone bottoms face the brunt of the jokes in TikTok videos like this one directed at people for specific sexual preferences within the queer community.
People often insinuate stone bottoms are "less gay" or "pretending to be gay" in TikTok videos if they are firm about not wanting to perform sexual acts like oral and penetration on their partners. This kind of harassment in TikTok videos like these is called "bottom shaming."
Verses or switches are what they sound like – people who like to top and bottom interchangeably during sex.
Verse folks are generally less concerned with labeling themselves and their sexual dynamic and more focused on keeping their sexual interactions fluid, though some verses do lean towards the top or bottom side of the spectrum.
According to a 2018 survey by Autostraddle, switches make up over 50% of queer people who answered their call out.
It's crucial to note that while these labels exist, all sexual dynamics between people look different. No two bottoms, switches, or tops are going to look the same and have the same sexual dynamic with their partner.
But all forms of attraction and sexual position preference are equally valid.

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The Miami White Party is an annual fundraiser party for HIV/AIDS research. The all-white clothing theme was chosen by co-founder Frank Wager because, as he said, "White stands for purity. White is elegant, non-political, non-combative and makes people look just plain beautiful." The Miami party began as a small fundraising event for the Health Crisis Network in 1985.
The Miami White Party is an annual fundraiser party for HIV/AIDS research. The all-white clothing theme was chosen by co-founder Frank Wager because, as he said, "White stands for purity. White is elegant, non-political, non-combative and makes people look just plain beautiful." The Miami party began as a small fundraising event for the Health Crisis Network in 1985.
The Miami White Party is an annual fundraiser party for HIV/AIDS research. The all-white clothing theme was chosen by co-founder Frank Wager because, as he said, "White stands for purity. White is elegant, non-political, non-combative and makes people look just plain beautiful." The Miami party began as a small fundraising event for the Health Crisis Network in 1985.
In another nice touch, the femme was wearing a sticker on her back that said "femme, not straight." Represent.
The Miami White Party is an annual fundraiser party for HIV/AIDS research. The all-white clothing theme was chosen by co-founder Frank Wager because, as he said, "White stands for purity. White is elegant, non-political, non-combative and makes people look just plain beautiful." The Miami party began as a small fundraising event for the Health Crisis Network in 1985.
I've used this shot as the title page for my HNC final project. Tutors' marks are due any day now; I've got everything crossed.
(All rights reserved, please contact me if you wish to reproduce this image)
Cartoon art by Lesbian cartoonist Erica Crooks
Sunday Night...Lash for Lasses...looking fine and feeling good it was another superb night...sadly Mrs.Cattus's carriage arrived to take her away at midnight which left poor little me having to dance with random femmes for the rest of the night...it's a hard job but someone's gotta do it! ;o)
The Miami White Party is an annual fundraiser party for HIV/AIDS research. The all-white clothing theme was chosen by co-founder Frank Wager because, as he said, "White stands for purity. White is elegant, non-political, non-combative and makes people look just plain beautiful." The Miami party began as a small fundraising event for the Health Crisis Network in 1985.
The Miami White Party is an annual fundraiser party for HIV/AIDS research. The all-white clothing theme was chosen by co-founder Frank Wager because, as he said, "White stands for purity. White is elegant, non-political, non-combative and makes people look just plain beautiful." The Miami party began as a small fundraising event for the Health Crisis Network in 1985.
Today at San Francisco's City Hall, where crowds gathered to cheer on the couples exercising their brand-new right to marry on the first full day of marriage equality in California.
“A part of you has grown in me. And so you see, it's you and me together forever and never apart, maybe in distance, but never in heart.”
The Miami White Party is an annual fundraiser party for HIV/AIDS research. The all-white clothing theme was chosen by co-founder Frank Wager because, as he said, "White stands for purity. White is elegant, non-political, non-combative and makes people look just plain beautiful." The Miami party began as a small fundraising event for the Health Crisis Network in 1985.
The Miami White Party is an annual fundraiser party for HIV/AIDS research. The all-white clothing theme was chosen by co-founder Frank Wager because, as he said, "White stands for purity. White is elegant, non-political, non-combative and makes people look just plain beautiful." The Miami party began as a small fundraising event for the Health Crisis Network in 1985.
The Miami White Party is an annual fundraiser party for HIV/AIDS research. The all-white clothing theme was chosen by co-founder Frank Wager because, as he said, "White stands for purity. White is elegant, non-political, non-combative and makes people look just plain beautiful." The Miami party began as a small fundraising event for the Health Crisis Network in 1985.
The Miami White Party is an annual fundraiser party for HIV/AIDS research. The all-white clothing theme was chosen by co-founder Frank Wager because, as he said, "White stands for purity. White is elegant, non-political, non-combative and makes people look just plain beautiful." The Miami party began as a small fundraising event for the Health Crisis Network in 1985.
The Miami White Party is an annual fundraiser party for HIV/AIDS research. The all-white clothing theme was chosen by co-founder Frank Wager because, as he said, "White stands for purity. White is elegant, non-political, non-combative and makes people look just plain beautiful." The Miami party began as a small fundraising event for the Health Crisis Network in 1985.
The Miami White Party is an annual fundraiser party for HIV/AIDS research. The all-white clothing theme was chosen by co-founder Frank Wager because, as he said, "White stands for purity. White is elegant, non-political, non-combative and makes people look just plain beautiful." The Miami party began as a small fundraising event for the Health Crisis Network in 1985.
The Miami White Party is an annual fundraiser party for HIV/AIDS research. The all-white clothing theme was chosen by co-founder Frank Wager because, as he said, "White stands for purity. White is elegant, non-political, non-combative and makes people look just plain beautiful." The Miami party began as a small fundraising event for the Health Crisis Network in 1985.
The Miami White Party is an annual fundraiser party for HIV/AIDS research. The all-white clothing theme was chosen by co-founder Frank Wager because, as he said, "White stands for purity. White is elegant, non-political, non-combative and makes people look just plain beautiful." The Miami party began as a small fundraising event for the Health Crisis Network in 1985.
The Miami White Party is an annual fundraiser party for HIV/AIDS research. The all-white clothing theme was chosen by co-founder Frank Wager because, as he said, "White stands for purity. White is elegant, non-political, non-combative and makes people look just plain beautiful." The Miami party began as a small fundraising event for the Health Crisis Network in 1985.
The Miami White Party is an annual fundraiser party for HIV/AIDS research. The all-white clothing theme was chosen by co-founder Frank Wager because, as he said, "White stands for purity. White is elegant, non-political, non-combative and makes people look just plain beautiful." The Miami party began as a small fundraising event for the Health Crisis Network in 1985.
The Miami White Party is an annual fundraiser party for HIV/AIDS research. The all-white clothing theme was chose
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