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Bustle Porn
Originally Published: May 18, 2018
By Griffin Wynne and Carolyn Steber
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Erotic content you can feel good about getting off to.
All you have to do is watch a few minutes of mainstream porn to realize that plenty of it is demeaning and degrading toward women. And it's not just in front of the camera that these things play out; behind the camera, countless allegations have surfaced about unethical behavior, including claims of sexual assault on porn sets. Because it's a male-dominated field, it can be hard to find pornography that's both ethical and appeals to women's desires. But that's where feminist pornographer Erika Lust comes along.
When Lust launched her crowdsourced project, XConfessions , in 2013, she had the vision to offer an alternative to the porn that was already out there by offering sex-positive erotic films that, unlike so much mainstream porn, actually centered women and the pleasure of people assigned female at birth (AFAB). And, of course, she wanted to do it ethically.
"The concept of ethical as it relates to adult content production is complex," Lust tells Bustle. "It’s important to say there is not yet a consensus about what exactly it is, but in simple terms, ethical porn cares about the performer's welfare. It is adult cinema where consent has been given for every part of the film from all parties involved. This means consent regarding the sexual acts being performed, but also the rate of pay they are receiving. Personal limits and boundaries are respected and the performer can stop shooting at any moment if they feel uncomfortable. Everything is done under a safe sex environment, good working and safety conditions, and labor rights for performers and crew. This environment emphasizes safety and mutual respect."
According to Ayesha Hussain , a sex and porn coach, porn activist, and founder of The Violet , ethical porn can be more enjoyable for women to watch, as they’re less likely to be triggered or upset by something they see or hear. "Ethical porn creates safety and a sense of intimacy that can be felt off-screen," Hussain tells Bustle.
And just because it’s made ethically, this kind of porn isn’t necessarily the slower, softer kind of spoon-sex it’s often associated with.
"People can have healthy, consensual, aggressive sex," says Lola Jean , sex educator, and mental health professional. "It just shouldn't be that we only see abusive porn, women being submissive, or the person with a penis ejaculating — it's the variety. We need more things available."
Since the launch of Lust’s XConfessions in 2013, Hussain says there’s been an online boom of this kind of porn in the last five years. So if you’re looking for a variety of ethical porn sites, here are 12 places to start.
ElseCinema , formerly EroticFilms.com (NSFW), is one of Lust's own sites. “It's a pay-per-view catalog of the best in indie adult cinema from across the globe,” says Lust. “All of the films licensed there are ethically made, produced, and distributed. There is a big arousing catalog including romance, BDSM, massage, LGBT, and group, from a number of international directors. Use this site if you're seeking beauty, realism, and sex-positivity in your porn and want to know that it was made in an ethical way. It's the motto: Life is too short for bad porn.”
Although Erika Lust may be the biggest name in feminist pornography , this site is a perfect way to get acquainted with other feminist and ethical porn directors from all over the world.
“Specializing in highly-stylized short films, this crowdfunded production company, Four Chambers (NSFW), is making films that are part art project, part erotic cinema,” says Lust. “Their beautiful aesthetic subverts the established archetype of what sexuality should be and truly pushes the boundaries of erotic film making.”
“Founded in 2013 by director Shine Louise Houston, PinkLabel.tv (NSFW) is a hub for emerging and independent adult filmmakers,” says Lust. “It hosts some of the sexiest and most inclusive queer and feminist porn and is a helpful resource for emerging and independent filmmakers looking to enter the porn business ethically. Queer, trans, and people of color, as well as older people and people with disabilities, are a large part of its community.”
Like all things in life, porn should be inclusive .
“Describing themselves as 'very British, very naughty,' you will not be let down by JoyBear (NSFW), which has been making sex-positive, erotic films since 2003," says Lust. "They have an amazing attitude towards sex and they take pride in their interesting, strong, and provocative female characters.”
A porn site that has provocative female characters? As in female characters that are multi-dimensional and not some cliche of what a woman should be? Finally! Hollywood, take notes.
“Describing their films as ‘a celebration of sex,’ Bright Desire (NSFW) depicts sex in a smart, positive, and fun way,” says Lust. “There is a big focus on realism and the videos show real connection, intimacy, laughter, and pleasure. A lot of the videos feature real-life couples, the scenes are shot in collaboration with the performers and you can watch interviews and behind-the-scenes footage.”
And sex, in all its realms, definitely cause for a celebration.
“Adult movie writer and director Jacky St. James shows some hot sex!” says Lust. “She wants to change women’s views on sexuality and help them embrace their own desires. She’s best known for her BDSM themes which are explored in her ever-popular ‘The Submission of Emma Marx’ series. And after feeling unhappy with the way BDSM was portrayed in Fifty Shades of Grey, she created the erotic miniseries ‘Submission’ for late-night cable TV which explores a thrilling BDSM love triangle.”
Although Fifty Shades of Grey did a lot of women a favor by opening their eyes to BDSM, many people in the BDSM community were less than thrilled with the depiction of BDSM relationships in the movie . Not only does St. James right those wrongs, but does so in a way that promotes why embracing one's sexuality is so paramount.
“Founder and Director of Lightsouthern Cinema (NSFW), Michelle is amazing!” says Lust. “Her four-part film Momentum is one of my favorites. The cinematography and camera work, nostalgic storyline based on the sexually explorative period of the 70s, the beach landscapes, the diverse body types, the authentic sex... As the company states, Lightsouthern celebrates people celebrating themselves!”
“Of course I couldn't make a list of the top places to watch ethical porn without including my own site," says Lust." XConfessions (NSFW) is the crowdsourced project that I started in 2013 after becoming tired with the same old porn storylines and cliches repeated on a lot of mainstream sites. Users submit their anonymous sexual confessions, fantasies, and desires to the website, and each month I choose two to turn them into an artistic, explicit short film. Everything is made under my ethics for a new adult cinema.”
Launched from an Indiegogo in 2020 , afterglow is a crowd-funded feminist porn and sexual wellness site. Deemed “high quality erotic content curated for sexual wellness, focused on pleasure for everyone” afterglow looks like Glossier for sex and will fill your screen with nice colors and actors with line tattoos. If you like seeing stylish bedrooms and consent on camera, check it out.
Started by advertising mogul Cindy Gallop , Make Love Not Porn is like social media, but for sex. Users can upload their own solo or partnered content, and you have the ability to comment and share on videos within the site. The site promotes “real people having real sex,” meaning you won’t see any oiled-up actors saying cheesy lines. If you’ve always been interested in voyeurism or just want to see people actually in love going at it, this site is for you.
Formerly nofauxxx.com, Indie Porn Revolution is a women-run porn company started by Courtney Trouble , a self-proclaimed “genderqueer fat femme porn star.” Started in California in 2002, Indie Porn Revolution is the longest-running indie queer porn site on the internet. If you’re looking for body-positive porn that casts an array of queer and trans identities and shows lots of consent and aftercare, check it out!
The Crash Pad Series is like the fun lesbian bar of porn. Though it’s centered around queer women, there’s something for everyone. Led by director Shine Louise Houston, Crash Pad is full of strap-on content, kink and BDSM, vaginal orgasms, and aftercare and check-ins. If you’re passionate about seeing different types of queer sex with a focus on BIPOC, Crash Pad may be the one.
If you've found that mainstream porn just doesn't do it for you, then it's time to branch out and try other sites. Although you should know that it won't be free, considering what you're getting , you'll probably be OK with paying for it.
"You're going to need to start paying for your porn," says Lust. "Because if you're not paying for it, who is? How are the performers and the production company and all of the people involved in the process of making money? In the same way that we pay for every other product, paying for porn gives money directly back to the people making the content and supports that person or company to be able to keep making porn."
Ethical porn is sexy and with female pleasure being the center point, it's bound to get you off.
Ayesha Hussain , a sex and porn coach, porn activist, and founder of The Violet
Lola Jean , sex educator, and mental health professional
This article was originally published on May 18, 2018
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When I was first figuring out what sex was, I found a book on my very feminist, very sex-positive mom’s shelf in the closet, titled My Secret Garden . It was a compilation of women’s sexual fantasies , published during the height of the women’s lib movement in 1973. There was a men’s version too, although I can’t remember the name of it anymore. I do remember that both of those books got a lot of use during my teenage years — a time before smartphones and laptops. Hey, the only computer in our house was in a common room! There was no way I was going to explore sex on that thing.
That was in the early 2000s, and in the decade-and-a-half since, the possibilities for seeking out new sexual fantasies have become practically endless. Short stories. Videos. Magazines. GIFs. Twilight . Gone are the days when girls would have to stumble upon erotic parts of their mother’s novels and devour them night after night under the covers. Ladies looking to explore the world of BDSM , dive into centaur fantasies, or get an idea of what a gang bang might be like have a plethora of options available quite literally at their fingertips.
While it’s commonly accepted that women prefer written erotica while men prefer visual stimulation, the highly visual nature of the Internet may be changing that. I did an informal survey of women (and other folks with vaginas) to see what websites they masturbate to . You might be surprised by how many don’t conform to any stereotype.
Not much, but the giant selection is nice.
Being able to choose easily through categories, and the fact that a lot of the videos aren't overproduced.
Free, pics of people I know or liked by friends, lots of body types, and real people.
Lots of options to choose from depending on mood, loads fast.
Literotica, very occasionally other video porn sites, but so infrequently I can't name any.
I like to read erotica, and don't know where to find video porn that doesn't make me nervous about computer viruses.
I can trust that they don't have viruses, is the biggest reason. I love all of the varieties of kink, and YouPorn has a lot of categories.
YouPorn, and most recently, MomXXX.com
YouPorn has a lot of variety in terms of categories ... but the women on MomXXX look like me, and are often being f*cked by age-appropriate men!
Good-quality images, and non-normative.
Variety. The ability to search categories depending on my mood (also, I don't know of many other porn sites!!).
I can switch images easily, and it's free and easy to use.
Variety of stories; can always find a good one.
Tumblr has a lot of amateur stuff which I like. Easy to find blogs catered to your taste, and it snowballs through other blogs, and you can "like" them to save them for later. I'm often redirected to PornHub and xHamster through Tumblr, and have found a good bit of amateur stuff there, too.
Not a lot of stupid talking, easy to find what I like (weird stuff) in condensed format and discuss it with other ... fans
Free. Lots of varied content for whatever I'm in the mood for, although I don't like how fake they often seem
Kink.com, whatever Google gives me based on what I'm in the mood for.
That hot porn dude that's in everything, bondage and fetish stuff done well. I like knowing the porn stars are happy and treated well.
I can choose the streams, and there is always something new.
Lots of different categories, and feels "safer" from PC viruses.
It has everything, and not much of a load time.
Basic porn when I'm in the mood — nuthin' fancy ;)
Anyone else believe ridiculous sex myths as a kid? Check out our favorites here:
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Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our new podcast, I Want It That Way , which delves into the difficult and downright dirty parts of a relationship, and find more on our SoundCloud page.
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