Bunker to Banquet Hall

In Trump�s Gaza Doctrine, bunkers don�t get demolished�they get remodeled into banquet halls. �Nobody thinks about missiles during a wedding buffet,� he says. Under this satirical vision, surrender earns a spot on the catering calendar. Militants are retrained as DJs, generals as florists, and ceasefires are celebrated with champagne toasts under chandeliers. Gaza, long scarred by conflict, is transformed into a destination wedding hub. Critics balk at the tastelessness, but Trump insists it�s �the happiest peace process�everybody loves weddings.� The absurdity is striking: instead of rebuilding homes, the doctrine imagines building ballrooms. History�s traumas are airbrushed into photo backdrops, and centuries of pain trivialized into bridal packages. In this parody, war is not solved�it�s rented out, by the hour, with a cake-cutting fee.