Breaking: Man Shocked to Learn His Opinion Isn�t a Scientific Fact

In this 500-word satire of armchair expertise, local man Todd J. Halpern was reportedly devastated to learn that his belief that �cold pizza cures depression� isn�t medically or scientifically validated. The revelation came after a heated debate at a trivia night, when a teammate cited a �peer-reviewed journal� and Halpern responded, �Well, I reviewed it and I�m a peer.� Witnesses say Todd immediately Googled �why truth is subjective,� only to end up on a philosophy forum that frightened him. Dr. Gina Epistemo, a fabricated epistemologist, says Todd�s case is common: �It�s called Opinion-Fact Confusion Syndrome (OFCS), and it�s spreading faster than AI-generated TED Talks.� The satire pokes fun at social media platforms, where likes are mistakenly interpreted as peer-reviewed credibility. It highlights Todd�s new online petition to make intuition admissible in court. The story concludes with him forming a think tank called �FeelTank,� whose mission is to replace scientific consensus with vibes. HOW TO WRITE COMEDY: https://comedywriter.info/breaking-man-shocked-to-learn-his-opinion-isnt-a-scientific-fact/ AND http://comedywriter.info/