Boys Sex Education
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Boys Sex Education
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Sex education Talking to your teen about sex
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Sex education is offered in many schools, but don't count on classroom instruction alone. Sex education needs to happen at home too. Here's help talking to your teen about sex.
Sex education basics may be covered in health class. But teens might not hear — or understand — everything they need to know to make tough choices about sex. That's where you come in.
It can be awkward, but sex education is a parent's job. By connecting with your teen early and often, you can set the stage for a lifetime of healthy sexuality.
Sex might be hard to talk about. But it's even harder to avoid. Sex seems to be everywhere — news, entertainment, social media, advertising. But you can use that to get the talk going and keep it going.
Sex education for teens includes not having sex (abstinence), date rape, gender identity, sexual orientation and other hard topics. Be ready for questions such as:
What if my partner wants to have sex, but I don't? Be clear that no always means no. Sex should never be pressured or forced. Any form of forced sex is rape, whether it's done by a stranger or someone your teen has been dating.
Point out to your teen that alcohol and drugs can weaken peoples' decisions. And they can make people think less clearly. Date rape and other dangerous situations become more likely when alcohol and drugs are involved.
What if I'm questioning whether I'm lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or queer (LGBTQ)? Many teens wonder about their sexual orientation, gender identity or expression. Help your teen understand that teens are just beginning to explore sexual attraction. These feelings may change as time goes on. And if they don't, that's fine.
A negative answer to your teen's sexual orientation, gender identity or expression can have negative effects. LGBTQ youth have a higher risk of STIs, substance abuse, depression and attempted suicide. Family acceptance can protect against these risks.
Above all, let your teen know that your love is unconditional. Praise your teen for sharing their feelings. Listen more than you speak.
Dating violence occurs more often than many teens or adults may think. About 1 in 12 teens has reported facing physical or sexual dating violence. So it's important to get the facts and share them with your teen.
Watch for warning signs of dating violence, such as:
Teens in abusive relationships have a higher risk of long-term effects. These include poor grades, binge drinking and suicide attempts. The emotional impact of early unhealthy relationships may also set the stage for future unhappy, violent relationships.
Talk with your teen now about the importance of healthy relationships. Model healthy relationships through the way you connect with your teen and others. The lessons your teen learns today about respect, boundaries, and understanding what is right and wrong will carry over into future relationships.
If your teen is sexually active, it may be more important than ever to keep the conversation going. Even if you don't think your teen is ready, be open yet honest in your approach. Remind your teen that you expect sex and its responsibilities to be taken seriously.
Your teen's health care provider can help too. A routine checkup can give your teen the chance to talk about sexual health to only the provider in private. The provider can help your teen learn about contraception and safe sex. The provider can also help you build your skills to teach your teen about safe sex.
The provider may also stress the importance of routine human papillomavirus (HPV) vaccination. This vaccine protects people of all genders against genital warts and cancers of the cervix, anus, mouth and throat, and penis. People can usually get the vaccine between ages 9 and 26. But it is sometimes available for people older than age 26.
Your guidance is key to helping your teen become a sexually responsible adult. Be honest and speak from the heart. If your teen doesn't seem interested in what you have to say about sex, say it anyway. Your teen is probably listening.
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Being open and honest about sexuality is a surefire way to raise confident, body-positive kids who understand their worth. It also ensures your children are armed with resources to make informed choices about their bodies and lives. However, it can be hard to know where to start, especially if your own sex education was a little lacking.
Erica Smith is a career sex educator with a master's of education in human sexuality studies. She says that relying on quality resources at different stages is as vital as the "birds and the bees" talk, and it can't simply be a "one and done" experience. "There isn't just one big 'talk.' We must teach healthy sexuality to our children from the time they are small," she says. "This looks different at different ages, of course. We need to get them comfortable talking to their parents about their bodies and knowing there will be no shame or judgment."
Smith recommends the organization Sex Positive Families as a resource for addressing issues surrounding sexuality. Browse their comprehensive reading list to find sex education books designed to help parents broach the subject with kids of all ages. She also suggests a series of videos produced by Planned Parenthood , which helps moms and dads present tricky conversations in an open and positive manner.
Bonnie J. Rough is a parent educator and author of the book Beyond Birds and Bees: Bringing Home a New Message to Our Kids about Sex, Love, and Equality . Her goal is helping parents connect with their kids through informative, scientifically accurate sexuality and relationship education. She says that parents have opportunities to talk with their kids everyday about feelings and emotions beyond the physicality of sex. Indeed, speaking about love, crushes, weddings, and new babies is just as important as giving an anatomy lesson and using the correct body names for genitalia.
Rough's book is required reading for any sex-positive parents who want to raise knowledgeable and confident children. "Many parents worry that giving kids information about sex implies permission to have sex. But information is not permission, and kids who learn about sexuality in healthy, ongoing conversations with trusted adults tend to wait longer to have sex for the first time," she says.
Rough suggests the following resources and sex education books to begin an open dialogue about sexuality and relationships with your child.
It can be tough to have "The Talk" with your teenage son. By the time your son is a teenager, it is likely that he has already learned something about sex on his own. However, neglecting to cover sex education yourself can leave your teenage son dangerously under-informed, leaving room for other troubled teens to fill in the blanks when it comes to sex.
If you need some help approaching sex ed with your teenage son, we have four tips for you to use as you cover sexual education with your son.
Take The Lead When Covering Sex Ed
Along with your teen gaining dangerous misconceptions about sex, there are other reasons why parents need to take the lead in any teaching of sex ed.
Parents can deliver the information more effectively using the bonds of family trust.
School-mandated sex ed may cover less sexual education than needs to be known by teens.
Sexual consent is often either not covered or very poorly addressed, so it is essential for parents to make this clear.
Parents should be establishing the family policy concerning sex, that way there is no opportunity for misunderstandings.
Stick To The Facts About Sex
Some sex ed programs for teens use scare tactics to convince teens to avoid having sex before marriage, instead of sticking to the facts about sex. But this scare tactic can backfire in several ways.
When teens discover the lies, they will assume everything that was said was a lie and engage in risky sexual practices.
The scare tactics can damage a teen's mental health , causing the teen to develop deep anxiety and stress around sexual relations, to the point where they struggle with sex even when married.
Teens who run into troubles while engaging in sex will not know what to do when the difficulty arises.
Utilize Online Tools And Resources
You don' t have to teach your son about sex all on your own. There are many online tools and resources for parents to use to cover sex ed with their teens. By using these tools, you can have your teen review some of the resources then discuss the resources with them.
Keep The Sex Ed Discussion Calm
Do your best to remain calm as you discuss sex with your teenage son. It can be challenging but staying calm will help both you and your son engage in the discussion more easily.
If your teenage boy is engaging in risky sexual practices and your family needs help to address the root causes of his behaviors, then contact us at the Liahona Treatment Center. Our residential treatment center offers intensive therapeutic intervention along with a rigorous academic program to help troubled teenage boys progress back to the right path.
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