Boys Oral Sex

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Boys Oral Sex

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Generations ago, oral sex was considered taboo. Now it's a pretty mainstream type of sexual activity for all kinds of couples. How common is it? One 2020 survey found that on average, people perform oral sex 5.3 times each month, and they receive oral sex 5.2 times per month. Oral sex has benefits that go beyond physical pleasure: Research from 2018 suggests that couples who engaged in oral sex were more satisfied with the quality of their relationship than those who did not.


Still, not everyone understands the full range of what oral sex is, how it's done, and the variety of positions that can make it more exciting and novel. Here's everything you need to know.


Basically, oral sex is when you stimulate your partner's genitals with your mouth, lips, or tongue, or they stimulate your genitals using these body parts. This might involve fellatio (sucking or licking the penis), cunnilingus (sucking or licking the vagina, vulva, or clitoris, or anilingus (sucking or licking the anus).


Oral sex is often thought of as foreplay, meaning it happens before penetration with a penis or sex toy. It might also occur after intercourse, or it could replace intercourse entirely. Everyone has their own preferences, and there are no rules, provided both parties consent to the activity.


Just because oral sex doesn't lead to pregnancy doesn't mean it's not sex. Like other kinds of sex, oral sex can feel super pleasurable; a Canadian study found that 69% of women described being on the receiving end as "very pleasurable." Oral sex can keep couples feeling emotionally connected, and it can result in an orgasm (or multiple orgasms). It's not a lesser form of sex just because it's not penis-in-vagina sex. Some couples exclusively have oral sex, while others do it only occasionally or never. It's all up to your own personal preference.


While oral sex can offer deep physical and emotional pleasure, it also has one of the same dangers as intercourse. Oral sex can spread sexually transmitted infections (STIs) , including chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes, and HPV. "Many people are surprised to learn how dangerous it can be to have oral sex when it comes to STIs," Sherry A. Ross, MD , ob-gyn and women's health expert in Santa Monica, California, and author of she-ology and she-ology. the she-quel , tells Health .


Whether you're the giver or receiver of oral sex, you can contract and/or spread STIs. An HPV infection of the throat can even lead to throat cancer, the same way HPV can lead to cervical cancer. To protect yourself, make sure you and your partner are STI-tested; if you're not sure about your partner's status, experts advise using condoms or a dental dam, which is a thin piece of latex that covers the vulva.


There's no one way to have oral sex, but a good place to start is by asking your partner for their consent to kiss, lick, nibble, or stroke their genitals with your mouth, lips, or tongue. If you get the go-ahead, start slowly and experiment with different moves, such as soft kisses or firmer tongue swirls.


Pay attention to their response. If your partner is becoming more aroused and doesn't ask you to stop, keep going. If you get the sense that a move you're doing isn't having the desired effect, switch it up and try something else. As long as it feels good to give and receive, you're doing it right.


Great sex is all about communication, and that goes for oral sex as well. So don't hesitate to ask your partner what they like and what you can do to make them feel good. "This is especially helpful with a new partner," SKYN sex and intimacy expert, certified sex coach, sexologist, and author Gigi Engle tells Health . "Something that worked with one woman may not work with another. The vulva is as unique as a snowflake and no two are the same." The same goes for the penis.


What exactly should you ask? Here are a few questions to throw out: Does she like internal stimulation while she receives oral sex? Does she enjoy having her labia licked? Is her vaginal opening particularly sensitive? "Being able to communicate with your partner is extremely hot," Engle says. "She'll appreciate that you care enough to find out what brings her pleasure." This tip works for sexual partners of all genders, of course.


There are as many positions for oral sex as there are for intercourse (more on these later). But often the most comfortable way to do it is for the receiver to lie back with their legs open either a little bit or all the way, and for the giver to sit or stretch out over them.


Propping a pillow or two under your partner's hips can give you better access to their genitals, though not everyone enjoys this because it makes them feel more exposed. Oral sex can also be performed from behind, with the receiver in the doggie-style position. Another popular oral sex style is 69: when both partners lie down so their bodies form a 69 shape and they can give and receive oral sex simultaneously.


"Let's be honest, the taste of a penis is not exactly like chocolate cake," says Engle. If you're not into your partner's taste or want to taste something more fun, flavored lube is the way to go. "Adding a little tasty lubricant changes the whole game," she says.


Problem is, that a lot of flavored lubes are too sweet, too minty, or taste too much like cough syrup. So experiment with different flavors to find one you like. However, it's important to remember that flavored lube is not necessarily good for vaginas, since many are made with artificial ingredients and sugar. This means if you use it on a penis, be sure to rinse it off thoroughly before having penetrative sex.


Testicles can be very sexually sensitive, so to get them in on the oral action, a vibrator is your best sex accessory. "Sex toys aren't just for clit stimulation," Engle explains. Grab a vibrator and hold it in your hand to massage the balls. You can also press a vibe into the perineum, the patch of skin between the balls and anus or anus and vagina, which is a nerve-rich pleasure center. "Sex toys up the sense of eroticism during oral sex; it can be extremely intense—in a good way," she adds. Just make sure to ask your partner if they like what you're doing.


A study published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy found that 37% of women need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. Another 36% said that clitoral stimulation isn't necessary to have an orgasm, but it makes the experience better.


Still, for many women, direct clitoral stimulation can be too intense, especially at the onset of oral sex. Engle suggests touching it through the clitoral hood; another idea is to perform oral sex with a thin piece of fabric, like underwear , between your tongue and your partner's body. "This will provide just the right amount of pleasure without causing discomfort," she says. Another trick is to blow gently on her clitoris before making contact with your tongue, which can increase arousal.


If your female partner enjoys internal stimulation during oral sex, use your finger or a vibrator to play with her G-spot while kissing, licking, or sucking the vulva. How do you know when you've found the G-spot? Work your finger an inch or two inside the vagina along the front wall, and feel around for an area that can be slightly spongier than the rest of the vagina. "When stimulated, you're accessing the root of the clitoris, the back end that you can't see externally," says Engle.


Press around the area to offer pressure-based stimulation, or move your fingers in a grounded, circular motion. "Don't forget to pay attention," Engle says. "G-spot stimulation isn't every woman's cup of tea. Experimenting is great, but be willing to learn and hone your skills with each new partner."


Face-sitting is an oral sex position that has the receiver sitting on or straddling the giver's face. The close contact makes this a very intimate position, and it's not something everyone is comfortable with. But it allows for deeper access to your partner's vulva and vagina, and in heterosexual relationships, it's typically female dominant, putting the woman in control.


SOURCES: Halpern-Felsher, B.L. Pediatrics , April 2005; vol 115: pp 845-851. Remez, L. Family Planning Perspectives, November/December 2000; vol 32: pp 298-304. Bonnie L. Halpern-Felsher, PhD, associate professor of pediatrics, University of California, San Francisco. David Landry, senior research associate, Alan Guttmacher Institute, New York.
14-Year-Olds May See Oral Sex as Abstinence
April 4, 2005 -- Nearly a third of 14-year-olds plan oral sex within six months -- and nearly 20% say they've already tried oral sex, a California survey shows.
The survey is not a national sample. The data, while carefully collected, comes from 580 ninth-grade boys and girls at two California schools. But the numbers are in line with -- and even a bit lower than -- larger studies of American teens' sexual behavior.
The young teens say oral sex is a safer, more acceptable alternative to vaginal sex. That's true, says researcher Bonnie L. Halpern-Felsher, PhD, of the University of California, San Francisco. Oral sex, by itself, carries no risk of unwanted pregnancy. And some sexually transmitted diseases, sexually transmitted diseases , such as AIDS, are harder to get from oral sex than from vaginal sex.
But Halpern-Felsher says the survey shows that many teens don't fully appreciate the very real risks of engaging in oral sex.
"Yes, risks are less likely to occur with oral sex. The question is, do you think at age 14 you are really ready for this?" Halpern-Felsher tells WebMD. "You are still having intimacy with another person, and there still are possible physical and emotional risks. My concern is the feeling that oral sex is no big deal. It very well might be a big deal."
Halpern-Felsher's study -- published in the April issue of Pediatrics -- provides sorely needed data, says youth sexual behavior expert David Landry, senior research associate at the Alan Guttmacher Institute, a nonprofit organization focused on sexual and reproductive health research, policy analysis, and public education.
"There has been a dearth of information about adolescent oral sex in U.S. survey research," Landry tells WebMD. "A lot of the media reports I've seen about teen oral sex are rather alarmist. But it has been going on for a long time. It is nothing new, as data from 1988 and 1995 show. If anything, this latest research shows an incidence lower than we've seen before. But this is not a national sample."
Halpern-Felsher notes that her study is the first to gather information from teens as young as 14. The kids enrolled in her ongoing study -- with the full consent of their parents - and filled out surveys every six months. The survey questions become more detailed and cover more sexual topics as the children get older.
"We are finding that these ninth-graders -- and they are really young -- are engaging in thinking about these things," Halpern-Felsher says.
And what these young teens are thinking may surprise their parents.
"Young adolescents are perceiving that oral sex is less risky than vaginal sex in terms of health risks -- STDs, pregnancy, and HIV," Halpern-Felsher says. "They also see oral sex as having fewer social and emotional risks. They think they are less likely to feely guilty, to get in trouble, to have a bad reputation, or to have a relationship problem. They also felt oral sex is more acceptable. They think more teens are having it, and that it is OK in the context of both a dating and nondating relationship -- a one-night stand in our terms."
One finding that worries Halpern-Felsher is that a small but significant proportion of teens think oral sex carries zero physical risk. Fourteen percent of teens said there was zero risk of getting HIV from oral sex, and 13% said the behavior carried zero risk of transmitting chlamydia . Only 1% and 2%, respectively, thought vaginal sex carried zero risk of HIV or chlamydia infection.
Experts say there is no doubt that oral sex can transmit virtually any sexually transmitted disease - including HIV including HIV and chlamydia. The risk of getting most of these infections from oral sex is lower than the risk of getting them from vaginal sex. But the exact risks of oral sex are largely unknown, Landry says.
"I would say it is encouraging that most adolescents are aware there is a risk of STDs from engaging in oral sex," he says. "This research clearly indicates that most youth also are aware that oral sex is less risky than sexual intercourse. But it is important for them to know that our scientific understanding of risk of STDs from oral sex isn't very well defined. We simply know there is a risk. How much risk we don't reliably know at this time."
This does NOT mean that unprotected oral sex is safe sex . Safe oral sex means using barrier protection --- condoms or dental dams -- to prevent infection. If abstinence is the only safe sex method a person uses, then abstinence must include oral sex as well as vaginal sex.
"This has to be a consistent message: When people engage in oral sex they should use a barrier method," Landry says. "Unfortunately, in the U.S., fewer and fewer teachers are talking about how condoms can be used to prevent STDs or even pregnancy -- let alone how condoms can be used in the context of oral sex."
Most adults see oral sex as sex. Teens don't.
"It is not considered real sex to teens," Halpern-Felsher says. "They think they are still virgins if they had oral sex compared to vaginal sex. Oral sex is something else. For teens it is not under the rubric of sex as we know it today."
This has important implications for every kind of sex education.
"It is so incredibly important that when people are working with teens they must not just say, 'When you are having sex,' because that won't cover oral sex," Halpern-Felsher says. "We really need to break the barriers and start talking about all the things we consider to be sexual experiences."
Since oral sex is already prevalent at age 14, these conversations have to take place before a child reaches puberty.
"There is no data on exactly how young you should start -- maybe at age 10 or 11, but we have no evidence," Halpern-Felsher says. "But regardless of the child's age, don't hide from the conversation. We do know that parents who have complete conversations with their children about sex have kids who make wiser decisions about these issues."
Halpern-Felsher and Landry say the "big talk" isn't as effective as more frequent, more casual conversations. There are many opportunities for such discussions.
"Instead of just one big talk, you absolutely need ongoing conversations," Halpern-Felsher says. "There are many teachable moments when we parents can discuss issues of sexuality with our children, especially as our culture is awash with sexuality. It is important to seize those moments rather than to let them pass by. It is important to be open and honest and have clear consistent messages with youth. The frequency and openness of conversations is important. It has effects both on delaying sex and on using protection when sex occurs."
These conversations aren't all teens need.
"The bottom line is that youth need accurate information to make responsible decisions about sexual activity -- and that includes all forms of sex they might engage in," Landry says. "Unfortunately, in the U.S. we have been pulling back in school-based education to provide that info. Fewer students get information on how to protect themselves."
Here's how to avoid the most common mistakes.
What do you know about locking lips?
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WebMD does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

U.S. | Survey Shows Sex Practices of Boys
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After decades in which researchers concerned about teenage pregnancy focused only on intercourse, a study by the Urban Institute, financed by the federal government, provides the first national data on the sexual practices of 15- to 19-year-old boys.
With young people engaging in a growing variety of sexual behaviors, public health experts said they were increasingly concerned that teenagers did not understand the risks of sexually transmitted diseases and were confused about what constituted abstinence.
''As health educators and parents, we've drilled the kids on the dangers of pregnancy,'' said Linda Alexander, president of the American Social Health Association. ''We haven't talked as much about activities that don't result in pregnancy.
''What concerns me is what kids don't know. They're not protecting themselves; they don't understand the risks of transmitting infection between the genital and oral areas.''
Most sexually transmitted diseases -- whether viral, like herpes and hepatitis B, or bacterial, like gonorrhea, syphilis and chlamydia -- can be transmitted orally or genitally. Although most researchers say H.I.V., the virus that causes AIDS, is not easily transmitted through oral sex, they caution that such transmission is possible.
According to the study, many teenage boys are engaging in sexual activities that include oral and anal sex.
''While 55 percent of teenage males say they've had vaginal sex, two-thirds have had experience with noncoital behaviors like oral sex, anal intercourse or masturbation by a female,'' said Freya L. Sonenstein, director of the Population Studies Center at the Urban Institute and one of the study's authors. ''These behaviors put kids at risk of getting sexually transmitted diseases, which compromise their health.''
The report of findings from the National Survey of Adolescent Males is being released today in the latest issue of Family Planning Perspectives, a publication of the Alan Guttmacher Institute. The issue includes a report on the policy implications of oral sex among young people..
The survey of adolescent boys was based on in-person interviews with 1,297 nationally representative males ages 15 to 19 in 1995, including an oversampling of black and Hispanic youths. An earlier round in 1988 surveyed 1,880 boys.
The questions about engagement in genital heterosexual activities were asked in a questionnaire that the teenagers answered themselves rather than telling the interviewer. Ms. Sonenstein said that methodology, known as a self-administered interview, yielded more reliable information on sensitive subjects.
According to the findings, more than 1 in 10 boys had engaged in anal intercourse, half had received oral sex from a girl, and slightly more than a third had performed oral sex on a girl.
The national survey found significant differences among racial and ethnic groups: black and Hispanic boys were almost twice as likely as whites to have had anal intercourse. White and Hispanic boys were about twice as likely as blacks to have performed oral sex on a girl. The study also found that while the percentage of black boys receiving oral sex more than doubled, to 56.9 percent, from 1988 to 1995, the percentage stayed relatively stable among white boys -- at 50.3 percent -- and among Hispanic boys, at 45.
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