Boyfriend Spanking

Boyfriend Spanking
My bf says he is going to spank me for punishment, I deserve it but what should I be prepared for?
In the olden days, did women get spanked by their husbands? Pastors?
When and where does your husband spank you? Where was your most severe spanking?
Have you always been okay being spanked by your husband? My husband wants to start because of my attitude, but I’m scared.
Did your boyfriend or husband spank you as punishment? Why and when?
How do husbands spank in a domestic discipline relationship?
Writer of the popular blog goodboyspankings on blogspot. · Author has 590 answers and 2.6M answer views · Updated 1 y ·
In the olden days, did women get spanked by their husbands? Pastors?
When and where does your husband spank you? Where was your most severe spanking?
Have you always been okay being spanked by your husband? My husband wants to start because of my attitude, but I’m scared.
Did your boyfriend or husband spank you as punishment? Why and when?
How do husbands spank in a domestic discipline relationship?
Do you like to get spanked by your boyfriend? If so, how and how hard?
Have you ever been punished (spanking) by your boyfriend by surprise?
My BF spanks me for punishment and he’s now wanting me to do spanking, etc. on him. What do I do to him?
My husband has become obsessed with spanking me just a year or 2 ago what's up with this?
What positions does your husband spank you in?
What are some spanking punishments?
What was the hardest spanking you have ever gotten by your husband?
How often does your husband spank you?
Has any one seen or heard their wife being spanked by another man. Did they say anything to each other. How did you feel?
How many spankings are given, slaps on the butt, during a maintenance spanking in a domestic discipline relationship?
In the olden days, did women get spanked by their husbands? Pastors?
When and where does your husband spank you? Where was your most severe spanking?
Have you always been okay being spanked by your husband? My husband wants to start because of my attitude, but I’m scared.
Did your boyfriend or husband spank you as punishment? Why and when?
How do husbands spank in a domestic discipline relationship?
Do you like to get spanked by your boyfriend? If so, how and how hard?
Have you ever been punished (spanking) by your boyfriend by surprise?
My BF spanks me for punishment and he’s now wanting me to do spanking, etc. on him. What do I do to him?
My husband has become obsessed with spanking me just a year or 2 ago what's up with this?
What positions does your husband spank you in?
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just relax is it on the bare ass and what is he going to use to spank you with
To be honest, this is a very icky question. Spanking between peers always has to be safe, sane, and consensual. If you aren’t 100% behind what is going to happen, how it is going happen, how much is going to happen, and how hard it will be, you really need to tell him to forget it.
Apparently you did something that pissed him off and you feel guilty for. Fine. That happens and sometimes when we hurt someone, we want to make it right. If that means you want to offer up your bottom for a spanking, that is OK but you need to stipulate exactly what that means. Be specific. Are you over his knee? Do
To be honest, this is a very icky question. Spanking between peers always has to be safe, sane, and consensual. If you aren’t 100% behind what is going to happen, how it is going happen, how much is going to happen, and how hard it will be, you really need to tell him to forget it.
Apparently you did something that pissed him off and you feel guilty for. Fine. That happens and sometimes when we hurt someone, we want to make it right. If that means you want to offer up your bottom for a spanking, that is OK but you need to stipulate exactly what that means. Be specific. Are you over his knee? Does he spank you on the bare, over panties, over jeans, or whatever? What is he going to spank you with? Hand? Paddle? Spoon? Shoe? What? How many times or for how long? And, of course, even if you are being ‘punished’, you can still call an end to it at any time if you think it is too much.
Any other scenario is just asking for trouble. Even what I wrote is pretty advanced relationship kung fu. If you can’t trust this guy, you can’t let him strike you.
On the other hand, it is quite possible that he thinks this is sexy and is taking advantage of your misdeed to get something from you that turns him on. If that is the case, you need to decide if you want that to be part of your relationship dynamic.
I dated a girl when I was a teenager that liked to be spanked which was awesome because I like spanking. A lot. She would bait me by doing slightly naughty things, I would warn her that she was on thin ice, she would act up again, I would spank her with maybe a couple dozen crisp spanks on the bare, then we would have sex.
The reason I tell that story is because I never dared to spank her too hard. I always erred on the side of too little. As much as I wanted to really blister her bottom because that idea really turned me on, I loved her and never wanted to cause her real pain. She had to ask me to turn up the heat.
This is what spanking between peers is supposed to be. Even if it is ‘deserved’, there are still rules of consent, willingness, limits, and that it is over if the person being spanked says it is over. Most of us use safe words: green = more, harder; yellow = less; red = stop immediately.
All of that to say, spankings can be very embarrassing and really hurt in a stinging and burning sort of way. Anything more than a couple spanks with a piece of wood should make you want to get out of the way quickly. Of course, if you are getting a spanking, that point hits and just continues because even if you can get away, you aren’t supposed to. Those of us who like to be spanked (and I do; a lot) love/hate that feeling. We are out of control and it is a mental game to accept the pain and not fight back and not call out our safe word. Instead, we want to feel not just the pain but want to feel what it represents to us. Many of us want to cry, give up, and release all of our adult responsibilities, our guilt, our emotional struggles, etc. The spanking gives us that outlet but it comes at a pretty ferociously painful price.
If I can take a long and hard spanking, afterwards I will feel not only calm, but also like I have been relieved of incredible stress; a burden has been lifted. I usually am deeply in love and grateful to my spanker which is an admittedly weird thing to write. Finally, I feel good about myself for my bravery in being able to take my medicine and absorb the pain.
One more word about embarrassment: being embarrassed means that you are just out of your comfort zone which, if you are pants down, bent over, getting your bottom blistered will most likely be the case. This is different than humiliation which is when other people are making fun of you. Embarrassment is OK but humiliation is not. Lastly, shame is internalizing those feelings and identifying with them. It is like doing a bad thing (happens to all of us) and being bad which is not OK because now that person believes something negative about themselves.
All of these things mix with spanking creating a period of time when we are embarrassed, being focused on while we are embarrassed, and being essentially punished. This is the headspace of a spanking and it is a powerful place to be. All of these difficult emotions (and more!) merge with the act taking place. In other words, usually our emotions are disconnected from what is physically happening to us. Not when we are spanked. Even more than how the spanks will feel, there is a whole lot that could be unleashed in your head as well.
Again, for those of us into this sort of thing, yum. If you aren’t into it, run away. Do it now. Don’t look back.

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By day, I was a women’s studies minor, wrote a weekly feminist column for the student newspaper, and was president of the National Organization of Women on campus. By night, I really, really, really just wanted to be spanked.
By day, I was a women’s studies minor, wrote a weekly feminist column for the student newspaper, and was president of the National Organization of Women on campus. By night, I really, really, really just wanted to be spanked.

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August 15, 2022

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My first spanking was at my 16th birthday party. My guy friends tackled me on the kitchen floor and took turns giving me 16 spanks. And maybe one for good luck. I don’t remember. Once freed, I was livid. I was mortified.
In the years to come, I got some playful spankings, during which I was always twisting, giggling, and trying to get out of it. My first serious boyfriend loved to smack me on the ass as a joke, as did my second serious boyfriend. The more I protested, laughingly telling them to stop, the more they did it. And getting playful spanks always, always led to making out. I look back now and see that both guys realized I loved getting spanked long before I did.
You could say I was in denial about my spanking fetish. It wasn’t that I thought slapping booty was abuse, nor was my starched WASP upbringing to blame. No, the problem was my feminist sensibilities. I realize now that the term “feminism” is vague and means different things for different people, but when I was younger, I assumed there was a way a feminist should think and act. So, even though I liked the feeling of getting spanked, I felt conflicted about giving up my physical power, thinking spanking wasn’t something an independent and opinionated woman should enjoy . Just how, I fretted, could a partner take me seriously as a thinker, a doer, and a creator when I wanted to be submissive to him? What if people think I’m weird or screwed up?
But my sex drive proved mightier than my hang-ups and spanking became a main course of my sex life—albeit a shameful one—in college.
And I was, by a few different guys who, to varying degrees, were down with giving me spankings. But I still felt kind of ashamed because they themselves didn’t enjoy it, but they spanked me anyway because they knew it made me happy.
When I was 21, right after I graduated from college, I began dating Brandon, a brilliant, charismatic, confident 22-year-old. I loved how his dominant, even arrogant, personality manifested itself between the sheets. (Really, the only place I could put up with such a personality.) I didn’t have to ask for him to spank or dominate me because he did it naturally, and I didn’t feel like I was “choosing” to be submissive. But when we broke up after nine months, I knew I wanted the next guy I dated to be dominant in bed, like Brandon had been. I did a little Googling about submission and spanking fetishes and discovered it was a lot of other people’s fetishes, as well.
Fast forward a few years, and a few sexually un-fulfilling relationships, to Charles, the first guy who made me feel like there wasn’t anything wrong or un-feminist about wanting to be spanked. I’d known Charles for years, so he knew about my feminist activism and the writing I do about women’s issues. Once Charles learned about my dom/sub fetish, he knew—and respected—how conflicted I felt. Charles wanted to spank a woman as badly as I wanted to be spanked, and that was what mattered to him. Plus, he’d struggled with apathetic partners, as I had, and he owned a paddle! Alas, Charles also had a girlfriend.
Not that that stopped us. No, we were selfish: Charles cheated on his girlfriend with me. But those few weeks were sexually charged, passionate and wonderful. And other than feeling guilt about the cheating, I didn’t feel ashamed about what we were doing. Getting spanked and dominated in bed by an enthusiastic partner was the most sexually liberating feeling of my entire life.
Eventually, Charles and I ended our relationship when he wouldn’t end it with his girlfriend. I talked with my therapist, Dr. B, about how the emotional part of the relationship hadn’t been right, but my sexual chemistry with Charles had been spot-on.
However, instead of addressing how disappointed I felt that my intimate relationship had ended, or why I was in yet another relationship with an emotionally unavailable man, Dr. B focused on why I liked to be spanked. She kept steering the discussion back to what being submissive must mean in the grand scheme of things. Did I think I was bad? Did I think sex was bad? Did I think I deserved to be punished? Was I working out my relationship with my parents? Was it oedipal?
No, I kept telling her: I wasn’t hit as a kid, I was never abused by my parents, I’ve never dated an abusive man, and I’d never hit my own kids. But week after week, she’d ask me these same questions, and I’d have to tell her, nope, I still don’t hate myself, and I still wasn’t abused as a kid.
Eventually, our therapist-patient relationship ended, too, when I realized Dr. B didn’t get it and likely never would. I’d gotten over my conflict, and there she was bringing it up again. I may be a submissive, but I wasn’t going to put up with my shrink’s judgment!
I’m still coming to terms with my feminist beliefs, and how they interact with my desire for submissive sex, especially my spanking fetish. At this point in my life, at 25, I finally feel comfortable choosing to be submissive in a relationship with a man in the bedroom, as long as he is choosing to behave in a dominant way and he respects me outside of the bedroom. My love of a good spanking is not a conflict for me anymore. In fact, I respect myself more than I ever did for knowing exactly what pleases me and not being afraid to ask for it.
It took me far too many years to realize that it wasn’t very feminist of me to police my own sexuality, to label it “good for feminism” or “bad for feminism.” It is what it is! After I saw “Milk,” the movie about gay rights activist Harvey Milk, I decided I wanted to be someone who completely owns her sexuality, even if it’s not mainstream. I’m not ashamed anymore, and I don’t have to pussyfoot around asking for what I really want: I absolutely have to be submissive and spanked often, if not all the time, in order to enjoy sex.
Even though my sex life is the best it has ever been, it’s more important to me that I’ve figured out how I define my feminism for myself. The thrills of a dom/sub relationship might not work for other women and men who use the same “feminist” label that I do, but I’m not worrying about them anymore. I know I can enjoy a bedroom dynamic which, outside the bedroom, wouldn’t be acceptable. And I can still call myself a feminist.
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Having fun and discovering new ideas in the bedroom is nothing new. From the dawn of time, couples have been exploring and indulging in kink and fantasy, whether they defined their preferences as taboo or not.
If you have a husband who has hinted at the prospect of spanking in the bedroom or if you have a fantasy of your own, familiarizing yourself with the act of spanking is the first step to getting started with this kink.
The act of spanking in a sexual manner is typically tied to a dominant/submissive dynamic, which is ideal for partners who have a genuine interest in a BDSM lifestyle or a dominant/submissive relationship with their partner or spouse.
Those who enjoy spanking may feel a sense of release, a heightened level of intimacy with their partner, and even sexual excitement. If you and your husband are thinking of trying a bit of spanking in the bedroom, there are a few tips to keep in mind while you find out what works for you.
Before heading straight into the bedroom, take time together to learn about spanking. Even if one partner in the relationship is familiar with the prospect of spanking, it is important for both partners to feel well-informed and educated about any kink they decide to partake in.
Whether your husband is well-versed in spanking or new to the idea, you are much more likely to feel comfortable with moving forward with your fantasies after you are both on the same page. Spend time joining online communities that focus on BDSM, spanking, kink, and even guides for partners or married couples specifically.
Online communities are available through message boards and social media, making it easier than ever to learn more about spanking techniques, fantasies, and potential risks or issues that may arise.
Any time you are thinking of introducing a new kink to the bedroom, including spanking, it is imperative to discuss your fantasy and any potential limits you have for yourself. Discussing the fantasy and limits at length is a great way to communicate openly about the kink while removing any level of shame you may have attached to the idea, especially if you are new to spanking and/or the kink community as a whole.
Before you begin trying out the fantasy, it is important to also discuss limitations for each partner involved.
Ask your husband the following questions before you begin exploring spanking in the bedroom:
The easier it becomes to discuss fantasies and kinks, such as spanking, the more likely you are to explore new ideas and paths in the bedroom. Getting to know more about your husband’s spanking desires can help you to become closer while also allowing you to feel even more confident in the bedroom together.
With any kink or fantasy, it is always advisable to have a safe word in place, even if you enjoy pushing the limits or seeing how far you can take a specific fantasy. Without a safe word, you or your husband may feel uncomfortable if you are placed in a compromising or painful position, which is why it is also essential to discuss the pain factor of any kink you are entertaining.
Before you begin spanking your husband, it is important to ask him how he feels about his pain threshold and whether or not pain is a factor in his spanking fantasy or kink. Set a safe word that you are both familiar with
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