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How Teen Guys Really Feel About Sex!
How do teen boys honestly feel about sex and relationships? Seventeen Magazine and The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy partnered on a survey of 1,200 15-22-year-old guys to find out!

Sex Isn't Necessarily the First Thing on a Guy's Mind

They're More Interested in Relationships Than Sex

Being Intimate Is Actually Quite Significant to Boys

Though Some Admit to Being a "Player..."

Teen Guys Actually Really Want Relationships (Even if There is no Sex Involved!)

Guys Know Sex Can Change Everything

Double-Standards Still Exist Between Guys and Girls

Guys Actually Respect Girls Who Say No

Guys Will Listen to Girls When it Comes to Birth Control

It Doesn't Take Much to Convince Him to Use Protection

But Guys Are Confused About Their Role

Guys Admit to Being Anxious About Sex

Girls Have a Powerful Influence Over Their Boyfriends

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45% of guys in this sample are still virgins and 40% are not looking for sex or hook-ups.
Many are not in a rush and may actually regret moving too fast:
45% have had sex with someone and regretted it afterward, and almost half say it's good to wait to have sex until you're married.
Two-thirds (66%) agree that they, personally, could be happy in a sex-free relationship.
Their future is more important to them:
58% would rather get into their dream college than have sex with their dream girl.
From society: 78% say there is way too much pressure from society to have sex.
From friends: 14% have lied to stop friends from pressuring them to have sex.
Even from girls! 21% have been pressured by a girl to go further sexually than they wanted to and 56% often feel relieved when a girl wants to wait to have sex.
So many say they lie to appear cooler or protect their reputation:
60% admit they’ve lied about something related to sex and 30% have lied about how far they’ve gone sexually.
53% say they won’t have sex with someone unless they really love her.
The first time is a big deal for guys, too:
80% of virgins / 67% of non-virgins say their first time will be / was a big deal and 95% would rather have sex with someone they love than a random girl.
75% would choose to WAIT to lose their virginity to someone they love than to lose their virginity as soon as possible.
40%* had sex with someone when they knew it meant more to her than it did to them.
11% pressured a girl to go further sexually than she wanted to.
* the percentage of guys who have had sex
49% are looking for a serious relationship.
66% would rather have a girlfriend with NO sex than have sex but NO girlfriend.
35% worry that sex will change their relationship.
Sex can make someone stay in a relationship for the wrong reasons…
22%* stayed in a relationship, strictly for the sex.
28%* say having sex with someone for the first time had a negative effect on the relationship: 24%* lost interest in her, 11%* lost respect for her, and 9%* broke up with her.
74% say having sex with someone won’t make them stay in a relationship they don’t want to be in.
* the percentage of guys who have had sex
53% say having lots of hook-ups makes guys more popular (but 76% don't think the same of girls.)
Though more than half of guys describe girls who carry condoms as…
Safe (57%), Responsible (55%), Careful (54%)
A large percentage also describes them as…
Promiscuous (42%), Easy (34%), Aggressive (23%)
84% say they have more respect for girls who stop a hook-up if they aren’t ready or comfortable and 73% have more respect for girls who say no to sex.
Even though guys are, admittedly, risk-takers…
69%* admit to risky behavior when it comes to sex.
57%* admit to having had unprotected sex.
44%* have had a pregnancy scare with a girl they’ve had sex with.
* the percentage of guys who have had sex
83% would gladly wear a condom if a girl asked (Only 6% would refuse).
66% would gladly go get birth control with a girl if she asked (Only 11% would refuse).
93% would claim equal responsibility with a girl if he got her pregnant.
83% say both the guy and girl are equally responsible to get birth control or protection to prevent pregnancy.
87% their own desire to prevent pregnancy.
Guys admit to being confused about…
70% are confused about how to know whether or not a girl wants them to initiate sex.
70% are confused about what a girl expects from them after sex.
63% are confused about what’s pleasurable for a girl.
48% are confused about what to do during sex.
42% didn’t know that a girl can get pregnant during her period.
34% didn’t know that wearing two condoms at the same time is not more effective than wearing one.
20% didn’t know that a girl can still get pregnant if she’s on the pill.
Guys admit to feeling worried or anxious about…
73% the possibility of getting a girl pregnant.
77% say sex can be intimidating for a guy.
78% of guys say their girlfriend influences their decisions about sex.
*1,200 15- to 22-year-old males were surveyed online because of its high penetration (93%) among this population, but also because of the sensitive nature of the content of this survey, allowing young people to answer candidly (i.e., no adult interviewer) within the context of their preferred communications method.
Parents are the third greatest influence of guys’ decisions about sex…
53% have ever had a conversation with a parent about preventing pregnancy.
Though only 65% of those who’ve had a conversation say it was somewhat or very helpful to them.
Guys are more comfortable talking to mom about relationships, but more comfortable talking to dad about sex.

Letters | Talking to Boys (and Girls) About Sex
Talking to Boys (and Girls) About Sex
Readers say young people often welcome a more profound discussion that starts early in life.
As a subscriber, you have 10 gift articles to give each month. Anyone can read what you share.
As Peggy Orenstein asserts, school-based programs and parental conversations that focus primarily on averting physical risk and danger — unwanted pregnancy, sexually transmitted disease, sexual assault — indirectly encourage a sadly, even tragically, low bar for sexual decision-making and expectation: So long as people use “protection” and ensure mutual consent, many young people reason, then, duh, why not just do it?
Missing from the discourse is an exploration of the human dimensions of sexual connection and its potential to create meaning, joy, mutual pleasure and unparalleled levels of physical and emotional intimacy. We tell young people what we want them to say no to, but not all the things we want them, eventually, to say yes to.
What heartens me is that deep down girls and boys know that they are receiving a partial message at best. Like the research Ms. Orenstein mentions, I’ve asked my high school students for years to think about what they want, rather than what prevailing social norms seem to dictate they should want.
Using Martin Buber’s classic distinction between “I-It” and “I-Thou” relationships as a guide, I ask them to anonymously choose the relationship context for sexual behavior they most desire. Both girls and boys overwhelmingly choose genuine intimacy, results I then share.
What a gift to boys especially, who as Ms. Orenstein points out, most often view their desire for intimacy as a “personal quirk” not shared by their male peers.
By default, absent these conversations, we encourage young people — boys and girls — to “settle” for far less than they truly want and deserve.
Deborah M. Roffman Baltimore The writer is a human sexuality teacher and the author of “Talk to Me First: Everything You Need to Know to Become Your Kids’ ‘Go-To Person’ About Sex.”
As a young man, I think that Peggy Orenstein’s observations are spot on. Her decision to present those observations to a wider audience and spark a public conversation is a welcome one.
If she makes anything clear, it is that boys and young men are struggling to navigate society’s confusing, conflicting and unhealthy demands and expectations. I worry that many of my peers will dismiss much-needed guidance if it is presented to them as yet another ultimatum.
Peggy Orenstein asks us to reassess how we talk to boys about sex. She’s right in how difficult this is, how important it is to include girls, how young men want good guidance and how valuable frankness is.
But more important is giving similar consideration to the meaning of love in the education of young people. How can we talk about sex without a consideration of love? How can we address the distorted images of love and sex in entertainment media?
How can we not give frank guidance about love in a culture so saturated in sex? How can we not recognize our need to truly understand love?
This really isn’t hard. You just treat it like science and start early.
I knew I had achieved something when my son told me that I was like no other mother he knew because I talked about sex at the dinner table.
I raised two great boys who do not seem to have been traumatized by my approach to things. They both have healthy relationships and I hope that they are still talking about sex.
Jane McCall Delta, British Columbia
The sad irony is that women’s greater sexual freedom and economic rights did not translate into more respect for women.
Sex has always been tied up with power, dominance and control. As our culture, led by Wall Street, began generating men with a lot of money and wealth, there was also a very visible shift, with sex openly being used and pursued with greater aggressiveness.
It is no coincidence that the hookup culture is predominantly on college campuses, where, unchecked as “boys will be boys,” the problem perpetuates through the next generation.

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Boys forced to have sex with each other
By Mogomotsi Selebi - 20 February 2013 - 09:28
Commenting is subject to our house rules .
Read more at the SA government's online coronavirus portal or use the 24-hour public hotline: 0800 029 999
More stories to check out before you go
THE desperate cries of the young boys were not enough to deter their attackers.
A cellphone recording was made of a group of three boys who were forced to have sexual intercourse with each other.
The video footage, recorded near Ngwana ga Lwale river in Moruleng village, North West, showed three boys aged 10, 11 and 12 being forced to have sex with each other.
The boys had gone to the river to swim.
Although the video is only one minute and 13 seconds long, it is extremely graphic.
A voice, believed to be that of one of two boys aged 16 and 17 who allegedly forced the three boys to have sex, can be heard asking "Go monate?" which loosely translated means "are you enjoying yourself?"
The video also captures one of the boys being hit on the back with a stick.
Another cries repeatedly, saying "you are hurting me" as he is being hit as well.
The mother of the 17-year-old teenager said she had not seen the video.
"I have only heard about it but, really, I would not like to see it. It is disturbing enough just hearing about it," she said.
Asked if she had spoken to her son about the incident, she said: "I spoke to him and he told me that he recorded the whole thing to show the affected boys' parents.
"Apparently, those small boys had tried to rape the 16-year old's 10-year-old sister. The boy then forced them to have sex with each other as punishment," she said.
Councillor Lekuka Tshite said he was outraged by the incident: "I have been trying to get hold of other community leaders to see how we can get to the bottom of this problem.
"We have planned a community meeting on Tuesday [today] where we plan on calling the police and the parents of all the children to talk about this and other matters," Tshite said.
Police spokeswoman Captain Amanda Funani said charges of compelled sexual assault, compelled self-sexual assault, child pornography and assault had been laid against the two boys.
"They are currently under the care of social workers. Police are still waiting for an assessment report from the social workers.
"No court date has been set yet," she said.
An aunt of one of the younger boys said: "All of us are equally stressed out. I stay with him because his mother is in Thabazimbi [Limpopo], and it has been difficult hearing all this talk in the village."
The primary school pupil said: "They said that if we didn't do as we were told, they would beat us up." - selebim@sowetan.co.za
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Boys forced to have sex with each other
By Mogomotsi Selebi - 20 February 2013 - 09:28
Commenting is subject to our house rules .
Read more at the SA government's online coronavirus portal or use the 24-hour public hotline: 0800 029 999
More stories to check out before you go
THE desperate cries of the young boys were not enough to deter their attackers.
A cellphone recording was made of a group of three boys who were forced to have sexual intercourse with each other.
The video footage, recorded near Ngwana ga Lwale river in Moruleng village, North West, showed three boys aged 10, 11 and 12 being forced to have sex with each other.
The boys had gone to the river to swim.
Although the video is only one minute and 13 seconds long, it is extremely graphic.
A voice, believed to be that of one of two boys aged 16 and 17 who allegedly forced the three boys to have sex, can be heard asking "Go monate?" which loosely translated means "are you enjoying yourself?"
The video also captures one of the boys being hit on the back with a stick.
Another cries repeatedly, saying "you are hurting me" as he is being hit as well.
The mother of the 17-year-old teenager said she had not seen the video.
"I have only heard about it but, really, I would not like to see it. It is disturbing enough just hearing about it," she said.
Asked if she had spoken to her son about the incident, she said: "I spoke to him and he told me that he recorded the whole thing to show the affected boys' parents.
"Apparently, those small boys had tried to rape the 16-year old's 10-year-old sister. The boy then forced them to have sex with each other as punishment," she said.
Councillor Lekuka Tshite said he was outraged by the incident: "I have been trying to get hold of other community leaders to see how we can get to the bottom of this problem.
"We have planned a community meeting on Tuesday [today] where we plan on calling the police and the parents of all the children to talk about this and other matters," Tshite said.
Police spokeswoman Captain Amanda Funani said charges of compelled sexual assault, compelled self-sexual assault, child pornography and assault had been laid against the two boys.
"They are currently under the care of social workers. Police are still waiting for an assessment report from the social workers.
"No court date has been set yet," she said.
An aunt of one of the younger boys said: "All of us are equally stressed out. I stay with him because his mother is in Thabazimbi [Limpopo], and it has been difficult hearing all this talk in the village."
The primary school pupil said: "They said that if we didn't do as we were told, they would beat us up." - selebim@sowetan.co.za
Would you like to comment on this article? Register (it's quick and free) or sign in now.
Please read our Comment Policy before commenting.

This website uses cookies to run essential services and
improve or personalise your reading experience. Read more about
how we manage your information in our

privacy and cookie policies.

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