Boy Naked Stories

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Several years ago, when my son was a newly minted teenager, I discovered, on accident, that he was receiving nude pictures from a young lady at his school. I would have never believed it had I not seen it with my own eyes, and sadly: I did.
I was looking through his cellphone in an attempt to figure out why he wasn’t receiving group texts when a text message came in from a young lady that included a picture. On the top of his phone, there was a flash of vulva followed by the words “I’m wet.”
My husband was sitting nearby but didn’t see what I had. I stared at him and made a weird noise.
“What?” he asked. I explained what I saw but told him not to look. It didn’t seem appropriate to show him a picture of a minor’s genitalia. But that didn’t stop me from searching through my son’s phone to see what had been going on between them.
It turned out this young lady, who was a few months shy of turning 18, was the only one sending pictures. My son, who at the time was barely 13, didn’t seem to know what to do with the pictures and messages, because his usual reply to her was “Wow” or “Nice,” with the occasional “Mmmm.”
This girl was apparently stringing along a steady boyfriend in her own grade while promising my son, a freshman in high school, that she loved him the most. She played the needy, clingy sex-nymph character as if it were a script, written just for her.
I read my husband the texts and felt Mama Bear kick in full-force.
When we finally confronted my son, we could see he was horrified, but he also felt very attached to this girl, swearing he was “in love with her.” It turned out that after school, the two would often walk home together, stopping in the park to make out passionately before parting ways.
I knew it would be near impossible to keep them from one another, especially since they saw each other every day at school and rode the same (and only) bus.
There was one more complication. The girl’s father was one of my husband’s bosses — a really mean one, too.
It was a unique, delicate situation that required discretion. We didn’t want to create a bigger problem by disclosing what had been found. But we also didn’t want our son to communicate with that girl any longer.
I knew telling my son and the young lady to stay away from one another wouldn’t work. They might nod and agree, then secretly continue to meet and exchange messages. It’s what I did as a kid and what many teenagers do. I had to find a way to scare them enough to keep them apart, but keep the upper hand so that they would maintain their distance.
I decided to do some research, looking up the laws for child pornography in our state . I printed and highlighted two copies, and told my son to call the girl and tell her to come over to our house.
When she sat down, I introduced myself and my husband, and I handed her and my son the highlighted state laws. I asked them to read them quietly and let me know when they were done.
When they finished reading, I explained that I had discovered the text messages and pictures that she was sending our son, and that according to the laws, they constituted distribution and possession of child pornography. I explained to both of them that even though they are minors, it was still illegal, and I pointed out the penalties for such crimes.
Both kids looked terrified (as they should have).
Then I said to the young lady, “Since you are very close to turning 18, any sexual contact you have with my son can be reported as abuse. I will not hesitate to call the police and file a report against you. If you were to be convicted, you would be a registered sexual offender.”
At the time, we were living in Virginia, and the state laws were clear: Any possession of pornographic images of a person under 18 years of age was considered a Class 6 felony, making them eligible for a prison sentence of five to 30 years. In the Commonwealth, no distinction was made between adults and minors who possessed pornography, meaning teens who sexted were committing serious crimes.
She looked down at her hands and almost cried.
I asked the young lady to promise me she would no longer communicate with my son in any way, and in return, I would not tell her parents or call the police. She readily and happily agreed. She also apologized profusely. I told her that she had the potential to have a great life, but making choices like this could do more harm than she could imagine. I encouraged her to think twice about sending nude images via text or email because they live forever on the Internet and may cause her embarrassment in the future.
Before she left, I gave her a hug and wished her well. It wasn’t easy — but I felt it was the right thing to do.
As punishment, my son lost his phone and Internet access for six months, and when his privileges were reinstated, they came with the caveat that we have every password to every account, and would regularly monitor his interactions.
Thankfully, the young woman moved away shortly after her 18th birthday and, as promised, never contacted my son again — except to leave one note in his locker that said, “You have a really nice mom. I’m sorry for getting us in trouble. I’m glad we met and I’ll miss you, but we have to do what’s right. Take care.”
In the end we learned something important: Keep a level head when you find your child has engaged in something as serious as sexting . Also, use the laws to your advantage. While our method of dealing with this sensitive subject may not have been ideal (I realize that now) it was the best way we felt we could handle it at the time. Whatever you do, make sure you prioritize your child’s safety above all else. And while you’re at it, you may want to check their phones now and then.
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He used to sit comfortably in the bouncy chair on the floor outside the tub every morning while I showered. I installed a clear shower curtain and would sing songs and play peekaboo and sometimes he would shake his rattle to entertain himself so that I could start each morning fresh and clean.

"We change in front of each other, often share a stall in the family change room at the pool and shower with the bathroom door open."

This became a tradition and as he got older he would get out of bed in his footed pyjamas, drag his blanket and just sit himself down on the carpet as soon as he heard the shower go on. Sometimes I would open the shower curtain and see his little sleepy face and I hadn’t even noticed he was there. Other times, he would pounce in ready to tell me about the random thoughts that were racing through his big toddler mind.

I was always naked and both of us were comfortable with this.

In fact, all these years later we are still comfortable with our nudity.

Our whole family seems to be comfortable with nudity.

We change in front of each other, often share a stall in the family change room at the pool and shower with the bathroom door open.

It’s not abnormal for my kids to come into our room to tell us some anecdote from their day while they are stripping off their school clothes and pulling on their PJs. My son still talks to me through the shower curtain and often times it’s when he feels comfortable talking about difficult subjects.

Sometimes, they will rip off their bathing suits while in the pool, so excited to be swimming in the buff.

In our house we are equally as comfortable standing in front of each other naked as we are in track pants and a hoodie.

"I don’t ever want my kids to feel as though they should be ashamed of their bodies."

This has been our family’s way of life since the beginning, but now that our kids are getting older, I’m starting to wonder how long it can continue. Will there be a magic age where it will become weird or uncomfortable?

Will walking around naked in front of my kids have any negative impact as they grow into their preteen years?

I am perfectly aware that not every family functions like this. For us, I feel like this is one of the ways we address boundaries. Each of my children are learning to set their own boundaries and have control over their own physical being.

We talk openly about our bodies in our house. What our bodies do, how to keep them clean and healthy, how to make them stronger. They have been educated on puberty and what changes their bodies are going to experience in the near future.

I’m torn between encouraging my kids to accept and appreciate their nakedness and pushing them to be more modest and private. I don’t ever want my kids to feel as though they should be ashamed of their bodies.

"We remind them that FaceTiming with their grandparents while someone is changing is not appropriate."

With two athletes who have very different frames, they are also learning that no two bodies are the same. I don’t feel the need to hide my squishy tummy or the stretch marks that have appeared on my thighs and my son appreciates the lean muscle on his thin frame. We don’t criticize our bodies and we don’t feel shame for how we are built.

We try to focus on all the wonderful things our bodies are capable of because the truth is, sometimes our bodies fail us. We prefer to focus on treating our bodies with love and appreciation so that we can continue to make ourselves healthy and strong.

I worry that if I continuously push them to hide behind closed doors that they will lose that openness. It’s so easy to get caught up in what society tells them a perfect figure looks like. I want them to remember what is real when the world starts telling them how they should look.

For now we have decided to use their comfort as a guide.

We knock on their door before entering their room. I ask for privacy when I need it. But if they are OK with both their own nudity and mine then so am I.

They understand that while our home is the perfect place for them to shed their clothing, other places are not. We remind them that FaceTiming with their grandparents while someone is changing is not appropriate.

The most important thing is that we all respect each other and give each other privacy when asked.

I don’t expect this to continue. We are approaching the preteen years and as soon as they start to feel any awkwardness in being naked around their mother, I will take my cue and step back. But for now I refuse to make them feel any sense of shame around their body or to question their own comfort level.

They get to be the one to make that decision and I get to be the one to respect it.

Natalie’s passion for writing was reignited as she blogged her way through the pain of her son’s health issues and NICU stay. She is the wife of the world’s greatest foot rubber and mother to an amazingly loyal little boy and a fiercely independent little girl. An HR professional by day and a freelance writer and blogger by night, Natalie is getting a crash course in the juggling act that is the life of a working mother, though she does occasionally drop a ball or two! After spending much of her life trying to be perfect she has learned to rock her shortcomings and is not afraid
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