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November 16, 2017 / 6:45 PM
/ CBS News
When Demetris Payne saw a missed call from her son's junior high school, she knew something was wrong.
With a sigh, the single mom of four from Shreveport, Louisiana, called back. A school official said her 13-year-old son Jadarien was suspended for three days for talking back to his teacher. She was told to pick him up right away.
"Three days seems kind of harsh -- why not do in-school suspension?" Payne asked.
But since Jadarien had been in trouble once before, they said he had to leave.
As soon as the pair got home, Payne took away her son's cellphone and video games. She left him with her 70-year-old father who lives with them.
"When I got home from work he's eating strawberries and having fun with my dad," Payne told CBS News. "I was like, 'Oh no.' It was like a vacation."
Payne knew she needed to do more to discipline him.
So she handed him a rake and asked him to start cleaning up the yard. When he was finished, she told him he'd be volunteering his lawn care services free of charge for people in need during the remainder of his suspension.
"He didn't believe it," Payne said. "I can be soft on him and baby him sometimes."
But Payne was serious. She posted a photo of Jadarien on Facebook with the heading, "Yard service - FREE," explaining that he got suspended from school and would mow lawns, pick up trash or wash cars for members of the community over the next three days.
Within hours, Payne got requests from several residents taking her up on the offer.
So she drove Jadarien from house to house. She stood by the car and watched him work. He mowed lawns, picked up pine needles and raked leaves.
"He didn't complain the whole time," Payne said.
Jadarien spent about two hours cleaning up the yards. He ended up hitting at least eight different homes. When he was finished, Payne took him to the library, where he spent the rest of the day reading and completing homework assignments.
"We explained to him that these chores weren't to punish, punish, punish, but to teach him a lesson and teach him about discipline," Payne said. "No matter if the teacher is right or wrong -- always respect your teachers, respect adults."
On Tuesday, Jadarien was happy to finally head back to school.
Look who's back at school. Meeting with all his teachers and set up a plan so we can make sure he stays on track....
The eighth-grader's classmates and teachers said they saw him on Facebook.
"He just laughed it off," Payne said. "Some people say he was 'shamed.' He wasn't shamed at all. He's not that type of kid. He really isn't."
Payne sat down with Jadarien's teachers to help come up with a plan to keep him on track. However, she's confident Jadarien learned his lesson.
Hundreds of people have shared Payne's Facebook post over the past week, many praising her for her unique approach to discipline.
"Beautiful idea! Parenting done right," one Facebook user commented.
"Raising your child to learn consequences for unacceptable behavior falls under good parenting 101," another wrote.
Payne said she hopes her other kids -- ages 3, 8 and 17 -- also learned something from Jadarien's experience. But if she has to do it all over again, she will.
"Single parents, do not give up. Keep encouraging your child. When one avenue doesn't work try another avenue. Get to the root of the problem," she advised.
First published on November 16, 2017 / 6:45 PM
© 2017 CBS Interactive Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Copyright ©2022 CBS Interactive Inc. All rights reserved.
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Published: 15:21 BST, 17 March 2017 | Updated: 16:44 BST, 17 March 2017
Brooke L. Lajiness, 38, has been accused of having sex with a 14-year-old boy
A married Michigan mother appeared in court on Thursday, to face charges for allegedly having sex with a 14-year-old boy.
Brooke L. Lajiness, 38, was arraigned earlier this month on 13 counts including criminal sexual conduct, accosting a minor for immoral purposes and furnishing obscenity to a child.
She has been free on bail since then, after posting $50,000 cash bond.
Her husband was with her on Thursday, when she was back in court for another hearing.
After yesterday's session, Assistant Washtenaw County Prosecutor John Vella said they are looking into whether they may be more victims.
'This case involves a defendant seeking out minors for sex,' Vella said, according to M Live .
Lajiness' attorney, David I. Goldstein, said prosecutors need to focus on the case at hand.
'He keeps talking about "minors," but there's one,' Goldstein said.
Lajiness' (left) husband (right) was with her on Thursday, when she was back in court for another hearing
Attorneys were arguing in court over whether Lajiness should be allowed to travel to Toledo to visit her family while she's free on bail. The judge ruled that she should be free to travel there, so long as she lets the court know in advance.
Lajiness is due back in court on March 30 for a probable cause hearing.
At her arraignment on march 3, Michigan State Police Trooper Donald Pasternak testified that he started investigating Lajiness a few weeks before, when the victim's mother walked into a police station and complained that Lajiness was having sex with her son.
They found that Lajiness started exchanging photos with the teen while he was still in middle school.
They started having sex last summer, when the boy was in middle school or high school.
Police say she admitted to having sex with the teen between eight and 15 times and sending nude photos to the boy. She's pictured above in Facebook photos
Laginess reportedly confessed to having sex with the teen between eight and 15 times and exchanging the nude pictures.
Pasternak testified that most of the sexual encounters happened in the back of Laginess' car in a Lima Township driveway.
As part of her bond conditions, Laginess is not allowed near school property or around minors except for her own children. She is also not allowed to use computers, social media websites or to drink alcohol or take drugs.
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Published by Associated Newspapers Ltd
Part of the Daily Mail, The Mail on Sunday & Metro Media Group
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“They’re making babies down there,” my brother told my mom after walking in on me and a friend fooling around. Little did I know that he was right. That was the day I conceived my first child. I was only 16 .
My mother was blasting Al Green like she did every Sunday when she cleaned the house. “No, we weren’t,” I tried to assure her, but I doubt she believed me. I was usually pretty open about my sex life with her. She had known for quite some time that I was sexually active. I probably could’ve just told her the truth, like I had many times before, but this time was different from the rest. This time I did it in her house, and my heart was still racing from the excitement.
You’d think the experience of being a teen mom would make me want to keep all boys at least 10 feet away from my daughter, or at least ban boys from her room. Certainly, I don’t want her to go through what I did as a teen mom. I want her to wait until she’s ready to experience motherhood on her own terms, until she’s lived life for herself at least a little bit.
But I know that trying to keep teens from having sex is impossible. If they want to have sex, they’ll find a way. I know this because I remember being a teen. I remember a dark moonlit bedroom not being a requirement for fooling around. I remember taking advantage of my boyfriend’s parents being at work. I remember the sex in parked cars, the park and garages. And I remember not being the exception — almost all of my friends were having sex.
Banning boys from spending the night wouldn’t have prevented my teen pregnancy. It won’t protect my daughter either. Not from pregnancy, or the other potential consequences of unsafe sex. If my daughter were to engage in unsafe sex with a person of any gender, she could contract an STD or STI. It would be completely irresponsible of me to ignore the possibility that my daughter isn’t heterosexual. If I am worried about boys, I should be equally worried about girls. It’s either no one can spend the night, or everyone can.
That’s the logic I used when I asked my mother at 15 to have a good friend who happened to be male sleep over.
“You realize I could be sleeping with my girlfriends when they spend the night, right?” I remember asking her. I identified as bisexual at the time, and she knew it. But I could tell she had never even considered the possibility that my girlfriends were anything more than friends.
“Well, if he’s just a friend and you trust him, I’ll trust you.”
My mom trusted me. After that day, she often let me have boys spend the night. Every male friend I had knew what my bedroom looked like. And although it may seem counterintuitive, this is what she did right. She understood and listened. She never judged or punished me for being sexual. She believed me when I told her that a boy was just a friend and nothing sexual would happen if he spent the night. She created an environment where talking about sex was natural.
But despite her trust in me, she also failed me. She never talked to me about safe sex . I don’t know why. Perhaps she intended to but didn’t know how, or maybe she trusted I was getting accurate information somewhere else. She never once mentioned birth control or condoms; she just vaguely mentioned staying safe a few times.
And it’s not that I didn’t know birth control existed; I did. I just didn’t know how to ask for it. Every time I confessed my sexual activity to her, I hoped she would offer to get me the pill, buy me condoms, and teach me about safe sex with both girls and boys. I wanted her to teach me how to be assertive and insist protection be used. But she never did.
I won’t fail my daughter the same way. She’ll have my trust and guidance. She already knows about my own experiences and that I could never be mad at her for being sexual. I’ll give her support and information. She can have boys and girls spend the night just like I did as a teen, but unlike me, she’ll have access to condoms, birth control and information about STIs and STDs. The conversation about sex will be ongoing and comprehensive.
I know I can’t stop her from having sex, but at least I can help her stay safe.
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