Boy Cum Stories

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Girls, when is the first time you made a guy ejaculate?
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First time? 17th October 2010; two days after getting with my crush. We were making out in the back seat of his car and he invited me to feel his hard on. So I did, through his underwear. Then I decided to stroke it, still through his underwear. At some point he told me he'd blow his load if I kept going, and I was like "So? :P" and kept going till he came. I'm not entirely sure he was prepared for that, or entirely comfortable with it; I DID kinda take him by surprise after all. How did I feel? I felt awesome. It was so evil of me to make him come in his pants like that, without his permission >:D But I loved it and he loved it (though we both agreed I was "evil", hahaha). It's an awesome feeling being able to make someone else orgasm...
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I have become desensitized to the annual ritual where my dad hands me an envelope he's received in the mail addressed to me and that has no return address. After 14 years, we are both nearly positive of the envelope's origin.
I write and I love jellybeans, cancerslayerblog.com
Aug 11, 2014, 12:59 AM EDT | Updated Oct 10, 2014
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.
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I write and I love jellybeans, cancerslayerblog.com
I have become desensitized to the annual ritual where my dad hands me an envelope he's received in the mail addressed to me and that has no return address. After 14 years, we are both nearly positive of the envelope's origin. I open one side and remove the bill just enough to see Fairfax Cryobank across the top, and then hand it back to him. "I think this is for you."
My mom and I visited Fairfax Cryobank for the first time on September 25, 2000. The doctor explained my risk of sterility and the sperm banking process, and then asked my mom for written permission for me to use pornography.
The previous night my dad had asked if I "know how to get it out" or if I "need help." I kept my eyes fixed on the same textbook sentence I had already read 30 times without realizing and said, "I know how; no thanks, Dad," thrilled that the dull lamp in my bedroom hid my features, hot and red as a mature habanero. At 16, I could only laugh with friends at my dad's inquiry, unable to understand his courage.
I did need help from the magazines, however. With my mom one room over, chemotherapy to treat my aggressive bone cancer beginning three days later, and the sterile cup and alcohol swab on the counter next to me, I wondered if anything other than live action would do the job.
I returned to the cryobank once more before starting chemo, this time less nervous and with both parents present in the waiting room. "Are you done already?" my dad asked after I emerged from the room with the brown couch that so many with cancer before me had been forced to execute on.
My friends enjoyed this question even more than my dad's others.
Year after year my dad handed me the envelope and then I handed it right back to him. And year after year a statement that I had read in the resource spermbankdirectory.com rang louder: "The efficacy of the freezing is questionable when [sperm] has been frozen for more than 12 years." If that is true then my biological clock would stop ticking before my 29th birthday. That was almost two years ago.
In vitro fertilization is wildly expensive and has low success rates, and even though my semen samples were high in both volume and sperm concentration -- what I call Supersperm -- I could only bank twice. So four years ago, with no baby-rearing prospective partners or desire to be a father, I told my parents not to pay the $395 annual fee to keep my sperm frozen. "If I decide to have kids then adoption will be more feasible." Both of my parents denied my request even faster than my dad takes back the Fairfax Cryobank envelope.
I contacted Fairfax Cryobank about banked sperm having a 12-year life. "We just looked at a different sample that was provided around the same time yours was, and we saw no change in it," a researcher emailed me.
A 2009 study found that younger men produce smarter children. Regardless of my age, if I have children then they'll have been fathered by a 16-year-old. For women who balk at in vitro fertilization, consider my frozen sperm's youth a natural boost to your potential child's standardized test scores, saving you from paying for prep classes and increasing your child's chance at being admitted into schools like University of Virginia, my alma mater. That is one envelope grandpa would love to see.
I write and I love jellybeans, cancerslayerblog.com

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A woman has shared the mortifying note that was thrown over her fence by an angry neighbor — blasting her noisy bedroom antics.
British social media user Amber Odon shared her horror after discovering the handwritten note, declaring she could “never leave my house again.”
Sharing the scrap of paper and its scrawled contents on TikTok , many found Odon’s unfortunate situation hilarious.
“Just found this note thrown over my fence,” she explained in her video .
“It’s official, I can never leave my house again.”
The crumpled and torn piece of paper read: “If your [sic] going to have animal sex during the middle of the day, please close your bloody windows!”
The annoyed writer unexpectedly signed off their angry letter with a pleasant “Ta” (“Thank you”).
Many found Odon’s plight — which has been viewed more than a million times — highly amusing.
“Why they peeping through your windows for? Must be jel [jealous],” one user commented.
“Would she have preferred you do it in the middle of the night,” another said.
One declared, “OMG this is brilliant!” as someone else said, “I would die.”
Others pointed out the writer’s spelling mistake, suggesting Odon should point out the glaring error.
“Throw a note back with ‘*you’re’ on it,” one said.
“Correct the ‘your’ to ‘you’re’ and request they resubmit,” another agreed.
But some agreed that if the sex act was that “loud,” she deserved the rude note.
Odon’s video also inspired others to share their stories of being busted in the act.
“My neighbour called police on us once. It was so embarrassing, they thought that I’m being murdered because of how I screamed,” one shared.
“I just push all the notes, knocks on walls and dirty looks throughout my life to the back of my mind,” another added.

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