Bottomless Naked Family

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Our expert resolves one mom and dad's disagreement about being naked in front of their kids.
Q. My wife thinks there's nothing wrong with taking a bath naked with our two boys, even though they are now 1 and 3. Frankly, this makes me uncomfortable. I say it's time she covered up in front of our children, but she thinks I'm being a prude. How can we resolve this difference without arguing about it anymore?
A. You'd probably never see this question in a European magazine, muses sex therapist Dennis Sugrue, PhD, clinical associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Michigan Medical School and coauthor of Sex Matters for Women (Guilford Press). Despite our culture's constant barrage of sexy media images, "here in the United States, we get pretty uptight when it comes to baring it all," he observes.
"Yet, the truth is that nudity in the home, when handled in a respectful, matter-of-fact way, is perfectly natural and certainly not harmful." In fact, research suggests that children who have seen their parents nude do not grow up to be emotionally scarred, but instead are more likely to be accepting of their own bodies and comfortable with their own sexuality.
If your wife is fine being naked around your sons, they won't think anything of it, other than showing some natural curiosity about body differences. ("Hey, why do only boys have penises?") Nudity is not the same thing as sexuality. However, if you're uncomfortable about her nudity, your sons will pick up on that, and may start feeling shame or increased curiosity.
Use this issue as a springboard for clarifying your values and how you and your wife will teach them to your children. What is it about your wife's nudity in front of the kids that bothers you most? For instance, if seeing her naked makes you lusty, then of course you'll feel weird having those feelings around your children. Alternatively, why does she feel so relaxed about it? Sharing your own most formative sexual experiences -- both good and bad -- will help you both think things through.
Ideally, these discussions should lead to a compromise you're both comfortable with. For instance, you might agree that it's fine for her to bathe with the boys only when you're not present. But if you still think the practice is wrong across the board, stand up for your opinion. It certainly won't harm the boys for your wife not to take baths with them, and maybe this is just one of those times where she'll have to compromise for the sake of your comfort.
Use a sense of humor when you express your views, rather than being judgmental or shaming, and your wife will probably be less argumentative, and more gracious, about staying out of the family tub.
Holly Robinson lives with her husband and their five kids outside of Boston.
Originally published in American Baby magazine, December 2004.
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Selma Blair Jumps Naked into Pool as Payback to Her Son After He Previously Pushed Her In
Blair was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS) nearly one year ago
Selma Blair is getting back at her son after he ruined her monumental dive into a swimming pool.
On Wednesday, Blair — who was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS) last year and now using a cane to walk — shared a photo of herself preparing to descend into the water. It was a big moment for the star as she has struggled with her mobility.
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However, just as she planned to achieve the feat her 8-year-old son Arthur Saint pushed her off the edge.
“I sometimes doubt my child’s ethics. Preparing to dive. A very big deal for me. Instead, I felt a tiny hand on swimsuit and lost any coordination,” Blair, 47, captioned the post, which shows her going from perfect form to flailing into a belly flop.
“#Terror #PunkKid #PayBack is coming. Any ideas?” the Cruel Intentions star asked her fans.
Hours later, Blair revealed her revenge.
As payback, the star shared a photo of herself diving bottomless into the pool.
“Victory. I don’t give up. #BottomsUp 🐳 My boy is a #CrackUp @KidsArthurSaint.”
“You win,” producer Jamie Sullivan wrote in response to Blair’s post.
Aside from embarrassing each other, the mother-and-son duo has gone through a lot together this past year.
Since her diagnosis, Blair experiences daily ups and downs living with the chronic neurological disease, never knowing what to expect from her mind and body when she wakes up every morning.
Blair exclusively told PEOPLE she is honest with Arthur (his father is fashion designer Jason Bleick, whom Blair dated from 2010-2012) about her new challenges and is constantly impressed by his resilience.
“He’s had to endure a lot; he’s seen a lot,” Blair said, including watching her fall down stairs or rush to a bathroom if she’s feeling sick.
But Arthur doesn’t view his mom’s weaknesses negatively, she said. “He says, ‘Mommy’s not sick. Mommy’s brave.'”
The actress said she was recently surprised to learn that Arthur enjoys having her visit his school.
Selma Blair and Arthur Saint Bleick
Selma Blair and Arthur Saint Bleick
| Credit: Frazer Harrison/Getty Images
“He said, ‘I love when you come to school because you make the kids laugh and you answer all their questions,'” she recalled. Blair said she doesn’t shy away from explaining to the kids about why she “walks and talks funny.”
“I explain what’s happening and that my voice doesn’t hurt, and we have really decent exchanges,” she said. “I had no idea Arthur was proud of that. I thought ‘I’m probably an embarrassment,’ but to know I’m not was one of my proudest moments.”
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Selma Blair Jumps Naked into Pool as Payback to Her Son After He Previously Pushed Her In
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