Bottom Guy Meaning
🔞 ALL INFORMATION CLICK HERE 👈🏻👈🏻👈🏻
Bottom Guy Meaning
Home
Chevron icon
It indicates an expandable section or menu, or sometimes previous / next navigation options.
Health
Sign up for notifications from Insider! Stay up to date with what you want to know.
LGBTQ
Queer
top
Bottom
verse
Insider Sex Ed
Chevron icon
It indicates an expandable section or menu, or sometimes previous / next navigation options.
Close icon
Two crossed lines that form an 'X'. It indicates a way to close an interaction, or dismiss a notification.
If you've scrolled through Grindr, Tinder, or even queer sections of TikTok recently, you'll have seen "top," "bottom," or "verse" in a bio or two.
The popular terms describe sexual preferences in the queer community.
While the terms were originally used to describe the sexual preferences of queer men in the 1970s, more LGBTQ+ people have adopted the terms to talk about what they like in sex.
Top/bottom/verse discourse has grown more visible lately on TikTok, where queer people have been making videos describing the unique struggles of each preference.
It's important to note that each of these categories means something a little different to each person, so no one definition is perfect. Here is a general idea of what it means to be a top, bottom, or verse.
Tops generally prefer to take a more active role in sex by acting as the person who penetrates, gives oral sex, or does other sexual acts. For people with penises, this can mean wanting to be the person penetrating rather than receiving. For people with vaginas , it can mean preferring to give oral sex rather than receive, according to queer publication Autostraddle.
Because queer sex can look many different ways, being a top doesn't necessarily refer to the specifics of how sex is had. Instead, it refers to a power dynamic in which one person is in control and the other person takes the lead.
Within the category of "top," there are subsections that may refer to the specifics of how people like to have sex.
A "stone top" refers to someone who only likes to "give" during sex and not receive. This can mean penetration, oral sex, or other acts and comes from the term "stone butch" which was a common masculine gender expression in lesbian spaces in the 1970s, 80s, and 90s, and is still used today by some people within the community.
"Touch me nots" fall within "stone tops" as they refer to queer people, often transmasculine people or lesbians, who do not like to be touched during sex under any circumstances and instead only like to give.
Bottoms typically like to receive during sex, whether that means oral sex, being penetrated during sex, or other sexual acts. However, like with tops, the specifics of the sex aren't as important as the power dynamic.
Generally, bottoms are people who relinquish control during sex and follow the lead of the person topping them. But that doesn't mean bottoms can't be assertive and active during sex.
"Power bottoms" refer to bottoms who direct their tops exactly how to please them during sex and are very vocal when they are doing it wrong. "Bratty bottoms" are similarly vocal and generally tease the person topping them in a demeaning and playful way.
While some bottoms may be open to topping every so often, there are categories of bottoms who never like to be the person penetrating or giving oral sex. Like stone tops, "stone bottoms" are firm about their boundaries on touching their partners and not like to be the person penetrating or giving oral sex.
Sometimes referred to as "pillow princesses," stone bottoms face the brunt of the jokes in TikTok videos like this one directed at people for specific sexual preferences within the queer community.
People often insinuate stone bottoms are "less gay" or "pretending to be gay" in TikTok videos if they are firm about not wanting to perform sexual acts like oral and penetration on their partners. This kind of harassment in TikTok videos like these is called "bottom shaming."
Verses or switches are what they sound like – people who like to top and bottom interchangeably during sex.
Verse folks are generally less concerned with labeling themselves and their sexual dynamic and more focused on keeping their sexual interactions fluid, though some verses do lean towards the top or bottom side of the spectrum.
According to a 2018 survey by Autostraddle, switches make up over 50% of queer people who answered their call out.
It's crucial to note that while these labels exist, all sexual dynamics between people look different. No two bottoms, switches, or tops are going to look the same and have the same sexual dynamic with their partner.
But all forms of attraction and sexual position preference are equally valid.
Based in Los Angeles, MJ is a journalist and blogger who covers the LGBTQ community. Identifying as gender-queer, MJ focuses on topics that touch on a variety of life issues impacting men, women and non-binary individuals. Look for posts on science, dating, relationships, and culture.
Recent Posts
5 Best Therapists for Anxiety in Chicago
Fat Gay Men Aren’t Welcomed At Pride
What’s New In The 2022 Nissan Rogue?
10 Hacks For Working Out In Your 30s!
Did Kings of Europe Have Male Sex Slaves?
Power bottom is a term that gets thrown around a lot by people in our community, yet few truly understand what this phrase really means. Well, I’m here to give you the definition so that you have the lingo right.
In case you are wondering, I am a power bottom and have been one for most of my sexual life. The first time I got pounded was when I was 18 years old, in the back of an abandoned van. Now at 38, I’ve been one ever since.
I’m going to give you the definition of a power bottom first. Then, I’ll touch upon several of the stereotypes connected with this term. Finally, I’ll walk you through several truths and misnomers.
Are you ready? Let’s jump right in!
If you are a true power bottom, you are gay man who has a huge appetite for being penetrated by another guy (or guys). You can last for extended periods of time without having to take breaks.
Power bottoms tend to last longer in the sack when the top is confident during intense jack-hammering (read between the lines). Power bottoms are ready to take it day or night and commonly like to skip a lot of foreplay and get right down to business.
Let’s first dispense with some of the common myths that are often associated with being a power bottom. While I can’t list them all, here are some of the biggies.
A lot of people see to think that guys like me who power bottom are “queens” or “big girls”. That’s totally false. I would argue that guys who mostly or exclusively bottom are perhaps some of the most masculine guys on the planet. This myth can be traced to harmful stereotypes about gay men – pure and simple.
I’ve had friends say that power bottoms are bigtime selfish whores. This one is BS too. That’s because being a power bottom isn’t so much about the activity but instead, about the mindset.
Just because we like to bend over doesn’t mean we can’t or won’t top. It does mean that we prefer to riding a guy and doing so for long periods of time.
Perhaps the worst stereotype associated with this bit of lingo relates to physical pain. For some stupid reason, a lot of gay tops have it in their mind that power bottoms don’t feel pain.
I’m here to tell you that’s total B.S. because we do. It DOES hurt if you just jam it in or suddenly yank it out. Nothing pisses me off more than a top thinking he can do whatever he wants to me because the guy thinks I’m impervious to pain, you know?
And hate to break it to you but not all of us are hooked on crystal meth, causing us to get “tina d*ck”. I don’t know if that myth came from videos or an urban legend but it’s crap.
Containing on with the stereotypes, power bottoms can be submissive but that doesn’t mean they are totally submissive. Sure, I suppose if you hypnotize one of us, we could turn into some freakish zombie bottom but in the real world, that’s not been my experience.
Finally, not all guys like me who are power bottoms are slutty. I hate when gay men think this but apparently, many do. Remember, it’s not about the number of guys we can take but instead, our ability to be ready and last for the long term.
To be this type of bottom, it means you have personal POWER. Here, I am talking about a high degree of self-esteem and self-worth. Not the other way around.
As mentioned earlier, a gay man who identifies as a power bottom has adopted a mindset. This way of thinking takes years to develop and has nothing to do with the top’s size or girth.
Instead, it’s about the pounders ability to jump into action at a moment’s notice, allowing someone like me to be equally ready.
This means we’ve educated ourselves about digestive health, allowing us to do our thing without worry.
On a related note, a true – and I mean absolutely true power bottom knows all about the things that turn off guys who are tops. One of the big ones is never making the mistake of referring to our man holes with effeminate terms.
Another one is understanding the importance of thorough douching!
What really pisses me off is running into guys on hookup apps like Grindr and Scruff who claim they are power bottoms when they simply aren’t.
Just because you rode a guy for 20 minutes doesn’t entitle you to claim the label. And so what if you can sit on a giant toy ! That doesn’t mean you are one either!
So gay men everywhere, please, for the love of all that is good, please stop calling yourself a power bottom when you aren’t.
This is a very special title should be reserved for gay men who have put in years of effort while educating themselves on how to be masters of their craft.
I’m proud to be gay. But let’s be honest, gay and fat aren’t celebrated. By: Dale in New York This will mark my first year not going to Pride in a decade. I swore to myself after last year that I would never go again. I’m 5’10, 40 years old…
Hypnosis changed me from a gay top to a massive bottom! By: Brent in Denver I was skeptical at first but not anymore. Pretty much my whole adult life, I have identified myself as a top – an exclusive top. Sure, I did oral on dudes and let them reciprocate…
Learn gay men should use an enema and douche before bottoming Looking for anal douche tips for gay men who bottom? Do you want to properly clean yourself out good before butt play? Are you hoping to find a step by step enema guide with recommendations? If you’re answering yes…
What Great Britain’s Vote to Leave UK Could Mean for LGBT Community
5 Ways Brexit Could Suck for Hollywood and You!
Men's Variety Copyright 2022. G-Digital. All Rights Reserved. Sign up for our newsletter
It’s Time to Take Your Temperature on Topping and Bottoming
Top? Bottom? Vers? Some combination of the above? Here’s how to figure out what’s right for you.
It’s time to discover what works for you
Realize what’s stopping you from experimenting
Your sexual position isn’t your identity
To be (fucked) or not to be (fucked) shouldn’t always be the question
Related Stories for GQ Entertainment LGBTQ
Since 1957, GQ has inspired men to look sharper and live smarter with its unparalleled coverage of style, culture, and beyond. From award-winning writing and photography to binge-ready videos to electric live events, GQ meets millions of modern men where they live, creating the moments that create conversations.
To revisit this article, visit My Profile, then View saved stories .
To revisit this article, select My Account, then View saved stories
Legend would have you believe that once you’ve earned your gay card, a Harry Potter –like ceremony occurs where, instead of the Sorting Hat, a giant magical butt plug divides all gay men into two houses: tops or bottoms.
This is clearly not the case, especially for those people who consider themselves versatile ( HIYA ). But often, penetrative sex can feel divided into rigid binaries that make being a top or a bottom seem like a cult you’ve signed up to for life, and one that you have to declare as soon as two (or more) consenting men decide to take their clothes off and rub up against each other. These two subdivisions have their own rules, stereotypes, and in-jokes, and can sometimes seem as if they’re at war with each other, rather than both working together for mutual sexual pleasure.
All of this can make trying different things daunting, especially if you’re a baby gay venturing into this world for the first time. But it ought not to be impossible to sexually switch things up. Sure, people have a preference, but now could be the perfect time to escape the top or bottom prison you live in. So, with the help of some experts, let’s take a moment to dismantle what you think you know about topping and bottoming. It could open up a world of possibilities.
Human beings are very good at trying something once and deciding indefinitely that we don’t like it. In the case of anal sex, this is usually because of an experience from when we were young and hadn’t quite realized the importance of lube ( USE LOTS OF LUBE ). So how do you go about testing new waters?
“I believe in what I call taking your erotic temperature,” explains Woody Miller, the author of the books How to Bottom Like a Porn Star and How to Top Like a Stud , “which is basically having a conversation with yourself about what it is you like.”
Miller argues that gay men should examine their relationship with power. Where do you align when it comes to being dominant or submissive? One way to question this, he posits, is to approach something other than penetrative sex.
“Look at kissing,” he says. “If you initiated the kiss, you're the dominant one. If you received the kiss, you're the submissive one. There is no aspect of sex that doesn't have, at its core, an aspect of power. So part of the thing that you have to ask yourself is, 'What am I comfortable with? Do I like initiating sex? Do I like telling my partner what to do, or do I like being told what to do?’ ”
What’s important is that there might not be a right or wrong answer to this. You might like taking your car for a service just as much as servicing it yourself. That’s part of the fun, right?
Clearly, if you’ve tried topping and bottoming a few times and figured out which of them is for you, that’s great. But I believe that many gay men pick one side, stick to it, and that some of those individuals choose topping—you’ll have seen their profiles marking them as “masc dom tops” on the apps—because of its ties to traditional masculinity.
As Miller explains, there are outside forces that, dating back to the ancient Greeks, have prevented gay men from truly digging into what sexual behaviors we might actually enjoy. “What I mean by that,” he says, “is that cultural forces within the gay community prize topping over bottoming.”
The ongoing fetishization of masculinity means that the traditionally submissive role of the bottom is associated with effeminacy. “With bottoming there is the perception that you're giving up your masculinity because receiving a penis is something that women do,” Miller adds.
Dr. Chris White, an expert in health promotion and the director and principal investigator of the Safe and Supportive Schools Project at the Gay-Straight Alliance Network in San Francisco, takes this one step further. “If you're a bottom, you’re sometimes seen as a slut,” he says. “You don't ever hear tops being called sluts, just bottoms. So there's some shaming there. And it's feminine type shaming, as well. Not only are you saying that it's more masculine to be a top, but you're saying that you should be ashamed to be a bottom.”
Basically, it could be time to seriously check yourself and ask exactly why you don’t like bottoming (or topping, TBH). If you believe that topping is preferable because it doesn’t threaten your masculinity, then have a strong word with yourself. Similarly, if you’re a bottom-only queen, ask yourself why. Not getting fucked doesn’t make you any less gay.
Let’s call bullshit on the concept that if two people are tops they’re incompatible, because the positions that you enjoy don’t define who you are. “I think that's part of the problem. We've literally made identities out of sexual positions,” Miller says. “It’s a sexual thought prison.”
Of course, if someone knows that they only really enjoy one aspect of penetration, then let’s not discount that. But as with everything sexual, these things are usually on a spectrum that is often contextual. “It can change depending on where you are in your life, how old you are, how fit you're feeling, and what you're in the mood for,” White says. “If you think about people's everyday behaviors, I don't know if there's a difference between someone who acts or comes across as more masculine and the role that they play in sex. We like to pretend that there are, but they're not necessarily true.”
Sure, declaring a preference if you’re on the hunt for a quickie will save time and energy, but don’t get all caught up in labels. There’s really not an eternal sparkling scarlet letter marking you with a “T” or a “B.”
According to a 2011 study by The Journal of Sexual Medicine that surveyed 25,000 gay men in America about their last sexual encounters, only 36 percent said they had bottomed and 34 percent said they had topped.
So, in reality, we’re not actually fucking all that much. It makes turning someone down if they don’t match your preference, especially if it’s just for a one-off, even more preposterous. “We seem to place more psychological importance on anal sex than physical importance, because we're not doing it that often,” Miller says. “So why are we making such a big deal out of it?”
© 2022 Condé Nast. All rights reserved. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy and Cookie Statement and Your California Privacy Rights. GQ may earn a portion of sales from products that are purchased through our site as part of our Affiliate Partnerships with retailers. The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except with the prior written permission of Condé Nast. Ad Choices
Sign up for our email newsletter for the latest science news
Want More? Get unlimited access for as low as $1.99/month
Copyright © 2022 Kalmbach Media Co.
It’s been known for a while that it takes less than a second for people to use their internal “gaydar” to decide if they think a man is homosexual or heterosexual, and such snap judgements tend to be right. But can facial differences be used to distinguish between dif
Myhome Porn
Cocksucker Training
Jane Lynch Nude Pics