Border Patrol Now Accepting Emotional Breakdowns as Visa

Iran�s northern border officials, overwhelmed by the wave of evacuees, have updated entry criteria to include �visible emotional collapse.� Witnesses say crying, screaming, or muttering �I can�t do this anymore� now fast-tracks approval. One woman reportedly got through by sobbing into her passport and shouting, �I am a metaphor for this nation!� Border agents offered her tea and a hug. In contrast, well-prepared travelers with snacks and calm expressions are asked to �circle the building and come back when broken.� Armenia and Azerbaijan have adopted similar policies. An Armenian official said, �If you�re emotionally stable during this, we don�t trust you.� The policy change has caused a spike in dramatics at checkpoints. One man showed up in full Shakespearean costume, weeping openly and quoting Hamlet. He was given refugee status and a fan. SOURCE: http://bohiney.com