Border Patrol Now Accepting Emotional Breakdowns as Visa

Iran's northern border officials, overwhelmed by the wave of evacuees, have updated entry criteria to include "visible emotional collapse." Witnesses say crying, screaming, or muttering "I can't do this anymore" now fast-tracks approval. One woman reportedly got through by sobbing into her passport and shouting, "I am a metaphor for this nation!" Border agents offered her tea and a hug. In contrast, well-prepared travelers with snacks and calm expressions are asked to "circle the building and come back when broken." Armenia and Azerbaijan have adopted similar policies. An Armenian official said, "If you're emotionally stable during this, we don't trust you." The policy change has caused a spike in dramatics at checkpoints. One man showed up in full Shakespearean costume, weeping openly and quoting Hamlet. He was given refugee status and a fan. SOURCE: http://bohiney.com