Booty Grazing
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Booty Grazing
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Sending a mass text message in hopes of hooking up with any of the responders for a booty call.
Easy hook-ups just got easier! We read about this intriguing telecommunications phenomenon in Seventeen magazine while waiting at the dentist's office.
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The Urban Dictionary guide to sex: mopeds, porb and awkward arms
Confused about sex? The internet can offer advice, reassurance and information. For everything else, there is the Urban Dictionary and its treasure trove of sexual slang
Ah, spooning … but watch out for 'awkward arm'. Photograph: Justin Horrocks/Getty Images
All the day's headlines and highlights from the Guardian, direct to you every morning
© 2022 Guardian News & Media Limited or its affiliated companies. All rights reserved. (modern)
T here are teachers and parents for the facts of life. For the fiction, it's the Urban Dictionary. Created in 1999 by Aaron Peckham, who was then just a first-year student, the site allows anybody to add a word or phrase of modern slang along with its definition. There's an editing process, but not much of one, and as a result urbandictionary.com now contains millions of entries on some the world's least discussable practices and problems – many of them sexual, and most of those made-up.
Whether anybody in real life has had both the talent and the inclination to "poopsterbate", for instance, has to be a matter of some doubt, despite the assurances of ShawnB that his friend Daniel "is undoubtedly a chronic poopsterbater". Nevertheless you have to give Shawn, or perhaps Daniel, some credit for their inventiveness. The following therefore is a selection of the milder sexual terms that can be found on the Urban Dictionary. Some you may recognise. The rest must not be tried at home.
This describes conventional sex, for once, but of a kind that only occurs on anniversaries, birthdays and at Christmas.
When two people try any form of cuddling in the "spoons" arrangement, the rear party invariably ends up with an "awkward arm", which, wherever they put it, will be crushed beneath one body or the other. "It usually leads to wishing arms could be pulled off and then put back on afterwards," says lilyrandall. Specially made beds with arm holes in them might be a more practical solution.
You're no doubt already familiar with the concept of a "booty call". (In case you're not: it's telephoning someone urgently, usually late at night, in order to have sex with them.) Booty grazing is essentially the same thing given a more industrial approach. It is, as jscilz explains: "The act of mass texting a generic message to members of the opposite sex in hopes that a guaranteed hookup for the night will be established." Getting multiple volunteers is a risk you will have to take.
The "furry" community – adults who like to dress up as animals and enjoy themselves in various ways – gets described extensively, and not very sympathetically, on the Urban Dictionary. A furrbie, however, is perhaps too sympathetic. This, as the definition explains, is a person who "likes to have sex with someone dressed in a mascot-type costume".
To possess a fur saddle is to be cursed, or perhaps blessed in some eyes, by a covering of hair that travels all the way from the tailbone to the navel in a continuous pubic band.
The least attractive person that you would be willing to have sex with. The name comes from the fact that mopeds are apparently fun to ride but embarrassing to be seen on.
To porb is to mistype the word "porn" into a search engine, see that the word "porb" is listed on the Urban Dictionary, click on the link and read the definition, which ends with the words "Now you are reading this." A masterpiece by liferdown there, justly recognised with more than 9,000 thumbs up.
Somebody who exaggerates their sexual exploits.
Sometimes, when someone is unable to have sex with the person they'd choose first – commonly because that person doesn't want to – they may instead make a photograph of that person their second choice. This is known as "paying tribute".
When you choose, following a breakup, to drive out the memory of your former partner by quickly having sex with someone else, this is known as a sexercism.
Almost a mainstream practice, to judge from the many entries on the site that cover the subject, but difficult to explain delicately. Let's just say it is a type of fellation that goes the extra couple of miles. Something about the way that teabags are dunked in cups supplies the name.
Having sex with someone before the two of you have exchanged 140 words. Probably it is not a good sign if you've been counting.
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Tiny (5'1"), but buxom, gorgeous, and shapely redhead knockout Nikki Rhodes was born Nicole Stevenson on January 20, 1982 in Simi Valley, California. Nikki was raised in Palmdale, Lancaster, Littlerock and other areas of the Antelope Valley in California's Mojave Desert. A straight-A student in grade school, Rhodes was already attending college at...
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Busty and shapely blonde bombshell Jessica Lynn was born on July 8, 1985 in California. She was raised in a small town in Ohio. Jessica was not only the president of her senior class in high school, but also a cheerleader and star soccer player. Lynn began working as a stripper in order to pay for her college tuition. She moved to California at age...
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